We have to wait a little longer to see Christopher Nolan‘s The Dark Knight Rises, and NerdBastards’ Matthew Jackson is dealing with the wait by filling his head with as many other Batman tales as possible. In the six weeks leading up to the flick’s release, he’ll be revisiting all six Batman franchise films so far (yes, even the crap ones) and writing retrospective essays on what worked, what didn’t, and what each film means to the franchise at large.
Yes, the moment we’ve been dreading is here. After Batmantwo weeks ago and Batman Returnslast week, we’ve arrived in the Dark Ages of the Dark Knight: the Schumacher Era. Granted, of the two Joel Schumacher Bat-films, Batman Forever is definitely…well, less awful, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard to stomach, especially after two weeks of competent (if contentious) Burton films. But as I was taking in this disastrous flick this week, something interesting happened. I had an epiphany. Oh don’t worry, I still hate this flick. The epiphany came when I realized, for the first time, why it is that I really hate it.
It took mere seconds for the nervous sweats to set in. The stale stench of popcorn mixed with the aroma of shattered hopes, and what I hope is not stale urine. Like walking into the middle of someone elses break up, I instantly knew I shouldn’t be there; there was no way this was going to end well. Why had I thought this was a good idea?! Why had anyone thought this would be a good idea?
Will Smith hasn’t released a film in 3 years, leaving the Earth unprotected for three consecutive summers. His presence in summer blockbusters has been a comfortingly reliable standby, like knowing your grandmother will give you socks for Christmas: not the coolest thing ever, but it gets the job done. Upon hearing the news of Smith’s return to alien slaughtering in Men in Black 3, I became giddy with excitement. There was no logic in this sudden burst of excitement. It was purely guttural, rising from a place of clandestine immaturity and under-developed nerdery. I did not realize it at the time, but I’d been conditioned, from a young age, to associate Will Smith with unbridled fun. Undoing this conditioning, as it turns out, requires one viewing of MiB3 followed by 2 glasses of wine, 3 episodes of Community, and a good, long cry (actual duration of crying may vary from person to person).
I must admit, neither of these films have me especially amped. I don’t think they’ll be huge piles of crap, but at the same time they just don’t inspire a lot of excitement. On that rousing note, let’s see some new footage!
First, Men in Black III, that sequel to a sequel we never thought we’d want. There’s really only one reason to see this movie, Josh Brolin‘s uncanny impersonation of Tommy Lee Jones. It’s mind-bogglingly accurate! Check it out in this new TV spot.
In Men in Black 3, Agents J and K are back… in time. J has seen some inexplicable things in his 15 years with the Men in Black, but nothing, not even aliens, perplexes him as much as his wry, reticent partner. But when K’s life and the fate of the planet are put at stake, Agent J will have to travel back in time to put things right. J discovers that there are secrets to the universe that K never told him — secrets that will reveal themselves as he teams up with the young Agent K to save his partner, the agency, and the future of humankind.
Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld MIB III stars Will Smith, Josh Brolin, Tommy Lee Jones, Emma Thompson, and Michael Stuhlbarg. It releases nationwide May 25th.
Like I said, the movie looks okay and I’m sure I’ll see it, but I don’t really care when I see it. Opening weekend? Probably not. How about you guys? Is MIB III a movie you’re really pumped to see this summer?
Next is Snow White and the Huntsman, another flick that looks cool but I think can easily be overlooked in a summer just brimming with blockbuster potentials. Snow White and the Huntsman‘s got the star power of Kristin Stewart, Chris Hemsworth and Charlize Theron plus a more action driven plot, and right there I’m more interested than I ever was for Mirror, Mirror.
In the below clip the Evil Queen offers the Huntsman a job,
Snow White and The Huntsman stars Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth, Charlize Theron, Sam Claflin, Ray Winstone, Ian McShane, Eddie Izzard, Bob Hoskins, Toby Jones, Eddie Marsan, Stephen Graham, Ray Winstone, Lily Cole, Sam Spruell, Liberty Ross and Noah Huntley.
In the film, Stewart (“Twilight”) plays the only person in the land fairer than the evil queen (Theron) who is out to destroy her. But what the wicked ruler never imagined is that the young woman threatening her reign has been training in the art of war with a huntsman who was dispatched to kill her.
Okay, I take back some of what I said about not being excited, seeing Theron ham it up as the Queen is going to rock. And I won’t complain about seeing more of Hemsworth, plus the two of them seem to have good chemistry. Now I just wonder what the onscreen chemistry will be like between Hemsworth and Bella, I mean, Kristin Stewart?
What do you think? Will you give Snow White and the Huntsman a shot when it opens June 1st?
This NerdBastard is having a hard time getting any kind of excitement going for the next installment of Columbia Pictures MIB III. Maybe someone can help me out in the comments section below and let me know why I should give a crap about this movie.
The first one was great, totally unexpected, fresh and fun. The second one . . . not so much. I’m pretty much over the whole:
“Oh My!!! Look who’s really an alien!!!!”
Really, does anyone give a greasy monkey shit that Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber are gonna make their alien debuts?
(Quick side note – For some reason it pissed me the hell off that the spell check in WordPress actually had the correct spelling for Justin Beiber’s last name in there. Screw that, if I spelled his name wrong then leave that shit alone.)
The movie opens May 25th, so you’ve got 23 days to change my mind or join me in the other theater for a second, third, or fourth veiwing of The Avengers.
After the shitload of disorganized chaos associated with the film during its production, Men in Black 3 will be out in theaters in about a month. Basically, producers had come up with the idea of a third film back when the second film was still in production but nothing had been done about it for quite some time. When filming finally started last year, the script wasn’t finished and so an extended break was scheduled for the cast and crew in order to figure out how that shit was going to end. Sounds like they really have their shit together, eh? Of course, a lot of fans and critics are skeptical about the quality of this upcoming film for that reason, and Sony has been spending a lot of time trying to rectify the PR disaster that this caused by promising that the stars will be bringing their characters to life the way that we remember and love them.
Director Barry Sonnenfeld spoke with MTV about the upcoming film and discussed some of the difficulties that were posed. One of which being that this movie will complete the trilogy but will also be used to lead into a reboot franchise, and so the appropriate clues must be included into the film. My first thought is: what the fuck do we need more reboots for?
Anyway, here are some tidbits from the interview. This is what Sonnenfeld had to say about the future direction of the series:
The fantastic thing about “Men in Black 3″ is that it totally closes out the trilogy, it answers questions that you didn’t even know you should be asking, it leaves you emotionally warm and sad and happy, and it could also reboot the franchise. But I can’t even begin to tell you how to interpret all of that. [Laughs] But I would say this: If your interpretation is that “Men in Black 4″ will only star the worm guys and Frank the pug, you are wrong.
He also talked a bit about the villain in this film, who will be played by Jemaine Clement, and may be reminiscent of Vincent D’Onofrio’s bug from Men in Black 1.
Jemaine delivers a totally villainous performance. If there’s any comedy at all, it’s just through frustration. [Laughs] The great thing about Earth is that it can be a frustrating place for aliens. We don’t think clearly, we’re not logical all the time. But Jemaine is not on board this movie for comic relief. His performance is really strong and really villainous. Think about it: If you had not seen the first “Men in Black,” and people had told you that Tommy lee Jones was funny, you wouldn’t have believed it. This is the same thing — no one is trying to be funny. I want my actors to be real. If it’s a funny situation, I want it to be funny. But I don’t want anyone to play to the comedy. Let the audience find the comedy; I don’t want to tell any [of the cast or crew] where it is. So, Jemaine does not deliver a comedic performance. While there are moments of humor that the audience will find funny, Jemaine himself is not being funny, if you get that.
Editors note: I got a little ranty with this post. Feel free to skip my “oh those were the days” grumblings and jump straight to images of Prometheus, G.I. Joe, Riddick, The Hobbit and more!
Back in the 80’s and early 90’s, I remember when movie studios would release trading card sets featuring an early look at their films. Short of a movie trailer, these assorted packs of still frames from anticipated movies were the only thing to wet the appetite of eager movie viewers. Plus, the lone stick of gum in each pack offered sugary nourishment (Yummo).Oh those were days, but now with the rise of the Internet the collectible value of these cards have been ruined. Movie images are now plastered all over the internet. Instant and constant gratification. My precious cards have been reduced to mere bicycle noise makers. Curses! But, the internet gives me a job, porn and easy ways to order cupcakes. So, I really can’t complain.
There’s a bunch of movies coming out this summer. You know this. While we count down the days to each respective release, studios our teasing us with image after image. Today we’ve got a whole bunch to ogle over. We’ve gathered images from this summer’s action sequel G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Ridley Scott’s Alien-verse flick Prometheus, Peter Jackson’s LOTR precursorThe Hobbit, along with a few alien creatures for Will Smith’s Men In Black 3.
WARNING: Instead of putting all these images into a easy to navigate gallery (which actually isn’t easy to categorize), we dumped them all in-line, one after another. So, be prepared for lots of scrolling.
Is it just me, or is that the more we see about Men in Black III, the less there is to get excited about? In this just released TV ad, we see speeder bikes, giant slimy fish, a turban-wearing alien that looks like Hulk-nemesis The Leader, and a joke about giant, cancer causing, stainless steel cell phones. It all seems a little been there, done that.
Check out the ad for yourself below, and feel free to comment. MiB3 will be released in theaters on May 25th.
The Men in Black have gone through two different adventures and are headed for a third that will take them back in time! So before we continue on to our present news, let’s take a flashback to the hayday of the 90’s. When Men In Black first debuted its hit single had people in awe of Will Smith‘s lyrical prowess. Here is a glimpse of the music video from the first film’s anthem track:
Now let’s jump back to present! Sony Pictures has released Pitbull’s single ‘Back in Time’, sorry if you didn’t catch all the hints at the title before now, this track is said to be the theme song for Men in Black 3. If you’ve never heard any of Pitbull’s music then you won’t get this jab, but usually his songs all start with the same intro: *beat* beat* ‘This is worldwide…Pitbull’ *beat*beat* (song starts) Don’t be fooled! The song picks up after Pitbull’s usual antics, and is deserving of being the Men in Black’s theme song. It stands musically on the same level as Will Smith’s theme for the first film. So check out the song below brought to you by Soundcloud:
In Men in Black 3, Agents J (Will Smith) and K (Tommy Lee Jones) are back… in time. J has seen some inexplicable things in his 15 years with the Men in Black, but nothing, not even aliens, perplexes him as much as his wry, reticent partner. But when K’s life and the fate of the planet are put at stake, Agent J will have to travel back in time to put things right. J discovers that there are secrets to the universe that K never told him — secrets that will reveal themselves as he teams up with the young Agent K (Josh Brolin) to save his partner, the agency, and the future of humankind.
Men in Black 3 arrives in 2D, 3D and IMAX 3D theaters on May 25th.
Keep the news that Barry Sonnenfeld had an unfinished script when they started production in mind and watch the first full trailer for Men in Back 3. Damn, is it just me or does it actually look like it might be a great fun little movie. Granted, watching Josh Brolin‘s frighteningly accurate Tommy Lee Jones impersonation carries the trailer, I even didn’t mind that Will Smith was all willsmithy in it.
MIB3 lands in theaters May 25th.
Agents J and K are back… in time. J has seen some inexplicable things in his 15 years with the Men in Black, but nothing, not even aliens, perplexes him as much as his wry, reticent partner. But when K’s life and the fate of the planet are put at stake, Agent J will have to travel back in time to put things right. J discovers that there are secrets to the universe that K never told him — secrets that will reveal themselves as he teams up with the young Agent K to save his partner, the agency, and the future of humankind.
After a lot of delays and hand-holding, it seems that Men In Black 3 is on track to open next summer and wash the decade-old horrid after taste of Men In Black II out of our mouths.
The trailer below is really more of a teaser, but it seems to suggest that this entry is going to take a more focused and less “kitchen sink” approach to the Men In Black mythos of the first sequel. As you’ll be able to infer, the film will follow Agent J (Will Smith) as he goes back in time to learn about a previously unrevealed chapter of MiB lore. And while the MiB is BiT (Back in Time), he interacts with the younger version of his partner, Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones in the present, Josh Brolin in the past). Brolin seems to do a pretty good Tommy Lee, but we’ll see if he can sustain that for a whole movie.
Anyway, without further ado, let’s roll on the trailer for MiB3
Plot Synopsis: In Men in Black 3, Agents J (Will Smith) and K (Tommy Lee Jones) are back… in time. J has seen some inexplicable things in his 15 years with the Men in Black, but nothing, not even aliens, perplexes him as much as his wry, reticent partner. But when K’s life and the fate of the planet are put at stake, Agent J will have to travel back in time to put things right. J discovers that there are secrets to the universe that K never told him — secrets that will reveal themselves as he teams up with the young Agent K (Josh Brolin) to save his partner, the agency, and the future of humankind.
The film co-stars Alice Eve, Emma Thompson, Rip Torn, Johnny Knoxville, and Jemaine Clement. Men in Black 3 opens on May 25 2012.
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