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This week on The Bastardcast, Jason and Jeremy talk about a nightmare Justice League cast, why Smurfs hate Jamie Foxx, why Guillermo del Toro (like many others) hates Michael Bay, why everybody hates Gwyneth Paltrow, and how a bunch of toys that were designed in 1979, might be the key to solving all the lingering questions from Prometheus.

Also on the show: The boys investigate what both G-Pal (we call her G-Pal now) and Iron Man smell like, what it would be like if Arnold Schwarzenegger replaced Kelly LeBrock in the Weird Science remake, how Porn Inspector would look on a resume, and why Patton Oswalt, the guy from Monk, and Superman are freaking awesome, and possibly the same person (bum! Bum!! BUM!!!).

If that gets your blood pumping, don’t miss Jeremy traumatizing his son, and Jason calling for hand job flavored cough medicine before raging about his uncapitalized upon rumble pack masturbatory aide invention and the magical vibrating underthings that are swooping in to capitalize on that market. ‘

All that and unicorn recipes that will make your head spin, on The Bastardcast.

The Bastardcast: Your mother’s dirty secret.

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Nerd action figure enthusiasts, like myself, are privileged to buy just about every pop culture character that ever was/is. Seriously, pretty much every iconic character from film, TV, video games and more have spawned little plastic figures honoring their image. I’m not complaining. No, I’m thrilled! I am, though, running out of shelf space. That, and my wallet and fiancee are not so understanding.

Money, storage and g/f problems be damned, because, thanks to the New York International Toy Fair (which happened this weekend), 2013  is looking like another killer year for plastics.

Toy Fair 2013 showcased all types of toys to choose from, classic toys from yesteryear, new movie tie-in toys, and toys for all ages, brought forth from the wacky minds of the toy masters at Mattel, Lego, Hasbro and many, many more. These are the products that will be hitting store shelves everywhere all year long that may flop, or become the hottest must have toy for Christmas.

Thanks to internet leaks, and work from other bloggers, we’ve rounded up the biggest and the best.

Take a stroll through the New York Toy Fair courtesy of NerdBastards “Gallery of Toys” and get your second hand look at NECA‘s Kick-Ass 2, and Lone Ranger line. Hasbro’s Star Wars, G.I. Joe:  Retaliation and Transformers, Marvel Legends/Avengers figures. Mattel‘s Masters of the Universe, DC Unlimited, Classics TV Batman, and Watchmen collections. DC Collectibles Man of Steel and, much, much more!

Check out the massive (90) picture gallery below and let your fellow NerdBastards know which are keepers and which will clutter store shelves until their thrown into the 50% off bin in the comments section below.

Note: Release dates and other deets are not provided. Please see our sources (ToyArk, ToyNewsi, ComingSoon) for more information.

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You’re a multi-million dollar Hollywood franchise and your best kept secrets are supposed to remain exactly that -be secret. So why is someone once again spoiling key scenes to a Marvel movie like Iron Man 3, just like they did with The Amazing Spider-Man?

Pictures of two LEGO playsets for the Shane Black directed film have hit the ‘net and yes, they seem to be spoiling some key scenes from the movie.

Brick-based spoilerage stars up after the jump.

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Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut. Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at nerdybits@nerdbastards.com

ABOVE: I’m not one for Blu-ray/DVD collectibles, but I must own this limited edition Walking Dead season 3 case. The Blu-ray case from McFarlane Toys comes with five plastic decapitated heads.  All you have to do to uh, enjoy the view, is add water. [MTV Geek]

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More Star Wars, more toys. That’s the deal and the silver lining for those who are wincing at the thought of a further exploration of the branches that connect to the artery of fantasticness that is the original trilogy.

Before we get our hands on Episode VII (Roman numerals, catch the fever!) figures like “Darth Luke”, and (gah) “Senior Slave Leia” though, Hasbro is bringing us the Star Wars Black line of 6″ scale action figures. A line that is being hailed as a big change for Hasbro… which is bullshit, because the Unleashed line debuted ten years ago and it was in the same scale as these figures. Granted they were pre-posed and actionless figures, but they’re still rad.

Anyway, the Black line is set to drop (hippnessssssssss) in August with X-Wing Fighter Luke Skywalker (meh), R2 (huzzah), Darth Maul (prequel scum!), and an Imperial Sandtrooper (filler). These are being marketed as a collector line, so “Ohhhhh, fancy!”. Also, there is a $19.99 MSRP that your local comic shop will blow right past.

Worry not though small fig fan — Hasbro will continue making tons and tons of 3 3/4″ figures and they will also go out under the Black banner, with Star Wars Classic figures called “Lando’s Legion” and prequel figures called “Windu’s Warriors”… and that last part may not be true.

So in closing: More Star Wars figures!

This article is over. Go back to Facebook and wait patiently for our next Doctor Doom meme.

Source: Detroit Free Press… which I read while searching for Warlord futures.

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While we still have yet to see Michael Shannon in his Zod costume in any stills from Man Of Steel itself, this week we got a sneak peek of what the updated General will most likely look like from Mattel France. The toy company gave the world a glimpse of the line of Superman toys it plans on releasing this year–including tie-ins to Christopher Nolan and Zack Snyder’s highly anticipated reboot flick…..Et voila!

As we can see, it seems this iteration of the Superman villain has his very own Kryptonian crest. Otherwise, it seems to be nothing more than a form-fitting black bodysuit–simpler and more utilitarian that the gauzy, open-chested garb Zod and his cohorts sported in Superman II.

Mattel France also revealed photos of these miniatures–the Zod figure appears to be clad in some sort of Kryptonian armor, but whether a similar garment will appear in Man Of Steel is anyone’s guess:

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His jacket has polka dots and yours doesn’t.

I’m not going to burn off 80 words on flowery bullshit that takes both sides of this issue into consideration before I finally err on the side of objectivity. I’d rather try an alternative approach: This shit is stupid.

Django Unchained is not going to ever air on the Hallmark Channel. It isn’t a movie that was made to be adored by everyone, and that’s why I would allow Quentin Tarantino to take me in a thrusty, masculine, and yet gentle way should his tastes suddenly take a left turn toward big-titted fanboys. Fuck appeasing the masses (and didn’t I just demonstrate my own antipathy for that?). Foot fetishists and bad ass motherfuckers. That’s who QT works for, and though there is a shocking lack of primo tootsies in Django, there is a fuck-ton (a slang term for a ton of fuck, meaning a whole lotta shit) of controversy thanks to the films slave-y subject matter, violence, and the use of the word that the “N-word” (THUNDER SOUND EFFECT) implies… you know, that one that they used all the time in the 1850s (And today! Ah, the timeless classics…) By the way, charades isn’t as much fun when you can’t act out the words… though I imagine acting out that word would be FAR, FAR more offensive than just saying the word. In fact I think I was just offensive while explaining what would be offensive. So that’s nifty.  (more…)

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Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut. Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at nerdybits@nerdbastards.com.

ABOVE: Liz Katz cosplaying as Catwoman. She makes a better looking Catwoman than Anne Hathaway did in Nolan’s Dark Knight Rises; and I’m sure my opinion has nothing to do with the difference in sweater puppy sizes.    [CBM]

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While the flux-capacitor hasn’t been perfected, and we can’t help you fix any past holiday humbuggery, maybe we can help you get this holiday season off to a good…

Now hear this! I am taking back this holiday gift guide in the name of Hannukah! For too long the Festival of Lights has lived in the shadows of other December based holidays. Even Festivus, that ironic sitcom born hipster holiday, feels more celebrated than the eight crazy nights of oil and flame and socks from grandma.

So this year, I am leading the charge to win the war for Hannukah! No longer will we be relegated to endcaps and afterthoughts on holiday lists. This time, we’re taking front and center with these 8 Amazing Hannukah gifts (that you can also buy people for Christmas or whatever else you buy gifts for)!

Night Number One: Give the gift of this awesome Evil League of Evil Shirt and show your team spirit. The shirt is available in 4 different colors in sizes S-2XL and as a baby doll tee as well from T Shirt Laundry. You can buy this splendid gift for $18.00. Check it out here.

MORE AFTER THE JUMP

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Zombie Bikini Girls, Blowing Up the Moon, The Wolverine and Dougray Scott, A baby, Winning the Lottery, Bad Movie Taste, Nintendo, Renowned Satirist James Gunn, Batman, Jason’s Penis (Again), Michael Fassbender‘s Penis, Star Trek, Canadian-centric Video Games, Happy Porn Stars, Heath Ledger’s Death, Martian Cockteasery, The Two and a Half Men Jesus Kid, why The Bastardcast is filth, an epic fight in VERSUS between non-Twilighty vampires and werewolves, and SO MUCH MORE!

The Bastardcast — Bring your own snacks.

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