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VERSUS

Star Wars 300 Jedi Slaughter 60,000 Medieval Soldiers

The long honored tradition of debating one thing vs another is always fun, right? Pepsi vs Coke, Marvel vs DC, tacos vs pizza; and the true fun is in the fact that the conversation is eternal, there are no finite true winners (editors note: Coke, DC Comics and tacos.)

Keeping that in mind, well… if you are the betting type, maybe hold off on making an costly wagers in the 600 Jedi vs 60,000 medieval foot soldiers fight because thanks to YouTuber SergiuHellDragoonHQ and a PC game called Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator we have the definitive winner in that match-up. (more…)

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This week on The Bastardcast, which is a thing you apparently listen to, Jeremy and Jason discuss why Dan Aykroyd‘s hope tastes like tumor salad. Also, the great question of life is asked: why is Futurama no longer a TV show but Vanilla Ice churning freaking butter is?

Wait! There are more things! Can JJ Abrams woo George Lucas away from the butter sculpting circuit (and if not, will Lucas align with Vanilla Ice to form the unstoppable butter-duo “Ice Ice Jawa”?)

Also, do robot’s draw dicks on mars and order pizza via Xbox because they are freaking douche bags? Is Joss Whedon pulling an us while really mailing it in with SHIELD? Will there ever be a good Daredevil movie? Do you even remember the long abandoned Bastardcast VERSUS segment? And who is the biggest one-eyed freaking badass on Earth: Nick Fury or Snake Plissken?



Snake-Plissken_vs_Nick-Fury

We don’t know the answer to any of this stuff, but we do know that Anthony Michael Hall and Ethan Embry’s work on a banner and a jacket to welcome Ed Helms to the Rusty Grisswold club is a COMPLETE FREAKING WASTE!

All of that and our slightly tardy 2010 Winter Movie Preview, on The Bastardcast!

The Bastardcast: Can we say fuck on here?


This time on the Peabody ignored Bastardcast, Jason and Jeremy discuss the high points of a bacteria that poops gold, Mila Kunis‘ candidacy for Miss Glamour Puss of Earth-19 (aka the Sexiest Woman Alive), bullshit Marvel casting rumors, the real death of the dinosaurs, the benching of Community, and the greatest internet review of all time.

Then, in THE MAIN EVENT, our hosts discuss the mayhem of New York Comic Con and then briefly touch on that other event where a horde of diseased monsters stand between Jason and serenity (literally, the line for the Walking Dead panel is totes going to keep Jason from the Firefly panel) — The Walking Dead, which comes back to your television devices this Sunday. Will the Governor rise? Will Rick fall? Will it all take place in the snow globe of an autistic child? We just don’t know, so stop fucking asking us asshole!

Then, last and probably least, these fine young cannibals take you into the basement cage match where blood is spilled and Pokemon get cut — it’s the VERSUS ARENA and Jason is saying that a robot apocalypse trumps a zombie apocalypse because it will mean the end of twitter and because you can have less gross sex with a borg than you can with a walker. “Nuh uh, no you didn’t” says Jeremy though, as he punches Jason in the throat with his words and reminds him that zombies can’t climb stairs, so we would then all have more of a chance to survive. Except Jason because he’ll be knee deep in droid trim… apparently.


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