(Better safe than sorry)
Imagined, actual, and just joked about Star Wars porn parodies have long been a stable of the fan boy world consciousness, even making it into movies like “Zack and Miri Make a Porno.”
Just check out the *COUGH – COUGH* (totally not pirated) DVD table at the next convention you attend. Give the guy behind the booth a “Wink – Wink” and maybe a nod and he will probably be able to reach under the table and sell you a copy or two of Star Wars porn parodies.
Vivid has just released it’s version of “Star Wars: A Porn Parody” to the world. Vivid has been making good use of parody laws to use copyrighted characters as the center of all our geek boy porno fantasies. Batman XXX, Spiderman XXX, and the Incredible Hulk XXX are just a few of the porn parodies that Vivid has produced.
Time to get to the meat of the story. There are six sex scenes in the Star Wars XXX film.
Sex Scene One – Leia and Darth
Yeah, Vivid went there. No matter what anyone at Vivid or other reviewers say this is some twisted shit. Yes, the actor playing Darth is African American, but their feeble attempt to say that fact proves that Darth isn’t Liea’s father, couldn’t hold water if it was 20 degrees below freezing.
Sex Scene Two – Obi Wan Kenobi and Tusken Raider
Ok, this does have a funny line from Obi Wan – “You don’t need that weapon… or your clothes.”
Sex Scene Three – Mos Eisley Cantina Girl / Girl Sex
Girl on girl, what else do I need to say.
Sex Scene Four – Mos Eisley Orgy
The stills from this scene show some really good makeup and prosthetics in the female Twill headpiece and the demon horned guy.
Sex scene Five – Wookie Sex
Chewie takes on two female Storm Troopers in the furry action all you sick NerdBastards have been writing fan fiction about for years.
Sex Scene Six – Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia and Han Solo Threesome
Back to the twisted shit. They just couldn’t end the movie without going to the brother – sister sex scene that all the fan boys will be all a twitter about, but that wasn’t enough, throw in Han in there too.
Besides the “Father – Daughter, Brother – Sister – and Freind” boondoggles the movie does have some fun quirks. Han still shoots first, the effects are better than most SyFy movies and although this NerdBastard didn’t find the Porkins jokes funny . . . at least the attempt was there.
Christopher Thorne over at Xcritic has a detailed review of the new Vivid Entertainment porn parody “Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody” with all the movie stills you could want to see. This NerdBastards favorite quote from Thorne is:
“At first the film feels like a full blown parody, the first few minutes feel more like Airplane meets Star Wars than a porn.”