!!!NSFW!!!

(Better safe than sorry)

Imagined, actual, and just joked about Star Wars porn parodies have long been a stable of the fan boy world consciousness, even making it into movies like “Zack and Miri Make a Porno.”

Just check out the *COUGH – COUGH* (totally not pirated) DVD table at the next convention you attend. Give the guy behind the booth a “Wink – Wink” and maybe a nod and he will probably be able to reach under the table and sell you a copy or two of Star Wars porn parodies. 

Vivid has just released it’s version of “Star Wars: A Porn Parody” to the world. Vivid has been making good use of parody laws to use copyrighted characters as the center of all our geek boy porno fantasies. Batman XXX, Spiderman XXX, and the Incredible Hulk XXX are just a few of the porn parodies that Vivid has produced. 

Time to get to the meat of the story. There are six sex scenes in the Star Wars XXX film.

Sex Scene One – Leia and Darth

Yeah, Vivid went there. No matter what anyone at Vivid or other reviewers say this is some twisted shit. Yes, the actor playing Darth is African American, but their feeble attempt to say that fact proves that Darth isn’t Liea’s father, couldn’t hold water if it was 20 degrees below freezing.   

Sex Scene Two – Obi Wan Kenobi and Tusken Raider

Ok, this does have a funny line from Obi Wan – “You don’t need that weapon… or your clothes.”

Sex Scene Three – Mos Eisley Cantina Girl / Girl Sex

Girl on girl, what else do I need to say.

Sex Scene Four – Mos Eisley Orgy

The stills from this scene show some really good makeup and prosthetics in the female Twill headpiece and the demon horned guy.

Sex scene Five – Wookie Sex

Chewie takes on two female Storm Troopers in the furry action all you sick NerdBastards have been writing fan fiction about for years.

Sex Scene Six – Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia and Han Solo Threesome

Back to the twisted shit. They just couldn’t end the movie without going to the brother – sister sex scene that all the fan boys will be all a twitter about, but that wasn’t enough, throw in Han in there too.

Besides the “Father – Daughter, Brother – Sister – and Freind” boondoggles the movie does have some fun quirks. Han still shoots first, the effects are better than most SyFy movies and although this NerdBastard didn’t find the Porkins jokes funny . . . at least the attempt was there.

Christopher Thorne over at Xcritic has a detailed review of the new Vivid Entertainment porn parody “Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody” with all the movie stills you could want to see. This NerdBastards favorite quote from Thorne is:

“At first the film feels like a full blown parody, the first few minutes feel more like Airplane meets Star Wars than a porn.”

Comments (2)

Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut.

Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at nerdybits@nerdbastards.com.

Yes, it’s a  homemade Ghostbusters Pillow Proton Pack from etsy seller, JezebelRose. Just in time for back to school! Except, hmm, I’m not sure it can actually carry any of your books. If you buy the additional Ghost Trap though, you could, uh, carry your ghosts with you. (Nerd Approved)

(more…)

No Comments

Porn parodies are the not only the future on the porn industry, but obviously the future of parody. Trailer after SFW trailer demonstrates not only can they be really frickin’ funny but the people writing these movies are giant geeks who’ve wanted to make a Star Wars movie for years. With fucking.

Check out this completely safe for work trailer for Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody and try and tell you me wouldn’t watch the shit out of  this hilarious spin on the original Star Wars flick.

There will be an option available to watch it as a sex free version, y’know, without the cum shots and the Han/Leia/Luke twincest three-way, if that’s not your style. But, you now what, sometimes the sex scenes are even funnier than the intended comedy, just sayin’.

Award-winning director Axel Braun and Vivid Entertainment are proud to present the first glimpse into the most anticipated adult movie of the year: STAR WARS XXX: A PORN PARODY. May the farce be with you!

Available on DVD September 2011

source: Bleeding Cool

No Comments

It’s a comic book, a cartoon, a (rebooted) movie and a Broadway production but now Spiderman is swinging webbing of a different kind in Spider-Man: A XXX Parody. Directed by Axel Braun, who brought you the no. #1 adult movie of 2010′s Batman: A XXX Parody, this is another film that’s part of Vivid Entertainment‘s line of XXX Super Heroes. If we didn’t know better, by the tone they set for this trailer, you’d have no idea that this is an Adult entertainment movie, and I gotta say “I’m Stunned”.

[This is a Safe For Work Trailer but still, if your at work please save the trailer till you get home. Be smart people]

The DVD of the movie will include a special 8-page comic book, specially created for the movie and since it’s a parody they can’t be sued. Starring the likes of Xander Corvus, Brooklyn Lee, Ash Hollywood, Capri Anderson, Dick Delaware and Peter O’Tool the film is set to be released on DVD July 25, 2011. Maybe they’ll even have a Stan Lee look-alike in a cameo somewhere?

Via: YouTube

No Comments

With director  B. Skow at the Helm, The Incredible Hulk: A XXX Porn Parody is the newest in a distinctive line of sexed up and retard strong superhero homages from Vivid Entertainment. Dubbed SuperXXXHeroes, The Hulk film will stare Lee Stone as the Hulk and Dale Dabone (star of Batman XXX) as Bruce Banner. Also in the wings of Vivid’s dirty little secrets, we have  Superman XXX: A Porn Parody and Batman XXX: A Porn Parody. No jokes needed, these parodies rip on themselves all alone.

The  official press release states

Vivid Founder and Co-Chairman Steven Hirsch confirmed that his studio plans to create pornographic versions of even more superheroes, specifically The Green Hornet, Spider-Man, Wonder Woman, Captain America and Thor.

How are these juiced up heroes going to have sex with normal girls without to pulverizing them into a fine silt? I guess they’re really going to have hold it back.

No Comments

We recently shared with you the news that a porn version of the old Batman show was being made. Apparently the buzz surrounding the movie has prompted Vivid Entertainment to create a separate imprint just for this growing genre: Vivid Superhero. Batman XXX director Axel Braun is already in preproduction for a Superman parody.

The first thing that comes to mind is that DC and Marvel co-own the trademark on “super heroes,” so maybe Vivid will dodge the bullet by using only the singular. They could really get away with just calling it Vivid Heroes, because let’s face it: no one would get a Vivid Heroes movie expecting it to be about a fireman who saved a sorority house (with his big hose, naturally).

Vivid Superhero will feature parodies of both Marvel and DC heroes as well as lesser-known schmoes like the Green Hornet. Now I’m just thinking here, but it seems to me that they will incur less attention from corporate lawyers if in addition to parodying the various heroes, they parody the names of the heroes. That way there could be no confusion at all.

And just because I’m a helpful type of person, here are just a few ideas for pornified versions of super heroes and villains. And by “a few,” I mean “how ever many I can think of in a few minutes.”

Doctor Cocktopus
Spider-Mangina
Wonder Womanizer
The Flasher
Sex Luthor
The Jacker
The Diddler
The Poonguin
The Incredible Bulk
Iron Minge
Captain Americock
The Fantastic Foreskins
Daredildo
Green Intern
Pussycat Woman (likely would be abbreviated a bit)
Silver Scrotum
Dr. Spooge
Dr. Doome (pronounced “do me”)
Dickman and Throbbin
J’Onn J’Izz, the Martian Manhumper
Pooperman
Cockuaman
Arse-Anal (a bit of a stretch from Arsenal, I suppose, but are you looking for quantum mechanics here? I thought not.)

As always, feel free to add your own in the comments section. And no points for changing the Huntress. That’s just too easy.

(via Topless Robot)

Comments (2)

No, it’s not Batman 30.

The folks at Vivid Entertainment, which has given the world such adult epics as Sexquake, Bounce 2: Fun Bags, and I Was a Teenage MILF, is set to release a parody of the seminal ’60s classic Batman show, which starred Adam West and Burt Ward as the Dynamic Duo.

Helmed by Axel Braun, Batman XXX: A Porn Parody (surprise) pornifies the famous crimefighters. I can’t believe they’re getting away with using the actual names of the characters. I would expect it to be like Buttman and Bobbin fighting the Diddler and the Jacker. Interestingly, the release for the movie has the following paragraph:

DISCLAIMER: Batman XXX: A Porn Parody is a parody movie. Batman®, Robin®, Batman & Robin®, Catwoman®, The Riddler®, Batgirl®, and The Joker® are registered trademarks of DC Comics, a General Partnership, composed of Warner Communications Inc. and E.C. Publications, Inc. This video is not sponsored, endorsed by or affiliated with DC Comics General Partnership, Warner Communications Inc. or E.C. Publications, Inc. or any other person or entity affiliated with any of them.

Whether that’s enough to cover their asses (so to speak), we’ll have to wait and see. Having checked out the SFW trailer, I have to say it looks pretty good, production-wise. The costumes are spot-on, and they even went to the trouble of using the same font they used for the cliffhangers at the end of each episode. Check it out and see what you think.

I still can’t help but wonder if this was at all an inspiration for this project:

At any rate, you can get your sticky little hands on the DVD May 24.

Pervs.

(via Geekologie)

Comments (77)