Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut. Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
ABOVE: I’ve never been one to look at an Ewok and think, “Yes, this needs to look sexier.” Then again, I don’t understand the trend of Halloween costumes that take any character or profession and sexify them, either. This Ewok costume is pretty adorable and is more cute than slutty, but that Jawa, he’s freakin’ me out. (Fashionably Geek)
Mario is the Barbie of the video game world except without all the pink and no semblance of a genitalia stamped with “made in China”. Mario is purely “made in Japan”. In his past 25 years he’s done a lot. He fights a giant lizard, eats mushrooms and enjoys more time with a princess then Prince William will get after his wedding, and that’s before he unclogs his toilet.
If you’ve been a member of the Nintendo generation for last 2 decades then you should know most of what makes Mario’s world go round, but they’re question boxes that have yet to be fist punched. What secrets do Mario and his cast of characters have hidden across the mushroom kingdom? What don’t you know?
If you want a real good laugh watch this video concocted by brentalfloss and Parker Simmons…and I will bet, you will probably watch it more then once. I know I did only because it is f*ckin hilarious!!! Good ol’ Dr. Mario is here to cure you, and in more then one way! Not only will he fondle your balls, like he did for Wario, he will also pull crabs out of your girlfriends’ cooch, like he did for Princess. And if you notice, Dr. Mario plays the b*tch in the Mario-Wario relationship; after all, he does have a tramp stamp. He hands out “pills for all your ills,” and good thing too because those shrooms weren’t doing a god damned thing to help me! Poor Kirby has meningitis and Link has hepatitis. But the real winner here is Bowser with HPV. Why you ask? HPV in men is more likely to cause penile or anal cancer, or warts. Poor Bowser…..