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This week on The Bastardcast: Jason and Jeremy return from their tour of Yo Momma to talk about the big drama surrounding a little bit of peen in Saga #12, a Game of Thrones fan’s Craigslist enabled sexy time fantasy, and world renowned sugar-tit enthusiast Mel Gibson’s possible directorial return for The Expendables vs. The Macabees: A Time Travel Adventure, aka Expendables 3.

Also on the show: Would you have sex with a robot? 9% of you would according to a new poll and apparently 50% of our adventurous hosts would as well. So, yeah, we’ll be dedicating some time to discuss Cylon banging.

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Strange, quirky ads are not a new thing on Craigslist. You can find just about anything on Craigslist, new and used clothing, toys, records, services of one (Cough-Cough) type or another. Many people browse Craigslist just to find gems like this one.

Seeking Robb Stark Look-alike from GOT – w4m – 25 (New Orleans)

The Iron throne replica goes for upwards of $30,000 dollars so she’s obviously a lady of means. Cosplayers in the area might want to question any friends that look like Robb Stark and suddenly want to borrow a few fur laced cosplay piece of armor or cloak.

What do you think about this? Kudos for trying to live out any of your fantasies, sexual or not, but I would never suggest this route to any of my friends or relatives. No medical testing, no names, it just seems unsafe. Imagine that, a Craigslist that’s unsafe. Perhaps this is part of the thrill she is seeking.

I wonder what Richard Madden thinks about the whole thing? Rumor is that he secretly married his long time girl friend recently.

If she can’t find a Robb Stark Look-alike then maybe a Jon Snow would do, he knows where to put it after all.

Chime in, would you ever consider answering this ad or making on like it to fufill your fantasies

Via: MTVGeek

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Let’s cover that last bit first. Zack Snyder‘s Superman reboot Man of Steel is currently in post-production, meaning the movie is not finished and has not been screened for anyone, anywhere, anyhow. So how is it that Yahoo! writer Jonathan Crow has the movie listed as one of the most disappointing movies of 2012? Sharing time with silver screen turds like Battleship and Red Dawn, two movies that were both terrible and released in 2012, Crow includes Man Of Steel (which is still months away from its June 14th 2013 release date) on the list based on… well, this:

“For the upcoming reboot, Man of Steel, director Zack Snyder took off Superman’s red briefs. That’s right, the 300 director changed the iconic uniform of the Last Son of Krypton, and he now looks as if he should be on a luge instead of fighting crime. What happened to tradition?”

Yup, it’s the underoo’s on the outside bit again. Don’t get me wrong raging against the costume change has been a hobby for many of us, myself included, yet I do find it a bit presumptuous to declare the movie disappointing on that alone. Let’s also not forget that it is a list of disappointing movies from 2012 and Man Of Steel comes out in 2013. While I may not be a time lord, I do know how a calender works so this strikes me as being a little off. Preemptively calling a movie disappointing before seeing anything more than a teaser and a few set photos seems to be a little silly, even for internet journalism. Let’s wait till we see some more stills, a little footage, a full trailer or, heck, maybe the movie itself before we call it bad names?

Semi-related. Fans of the Dark Knight Rises Facebook page were treated today to a new poster for Man Of Steel. You can see it for yourself after the jump, but first let me add my two cents. Yes, the costume still irks me, it just doesn’t seem right. The lack of red outer-undies makes the suit look incomplete to me still, yet I am not calling the movie disappointing. It has few months to earn that label still.

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Zombie Bikini Girls, Blowing Up the Moon, The Wolverine and Dougray Scott, A baby, Winning the Lottery, Bad Movie Taste, Nintendo, Renowned Satirist James Gunn, Batman, Jason’s Penis (Again), Michael Fassbender‘s Penis, Star Trek, Canadian-centric Video Games, Happy Porn Stars, Heath Ledger’s Death, Martian Cockteasery, The Two and a Half Men Jesus Kid, why The Bastardcast is filth, an epic fight in VERSUS between non-Twilighty vampires and werewolves, and SO MUCH MORE!

The Bastardcast — Bring your own snacks.

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Sci-Fi/Comic conventions are fun as hell, but sometimes, weird things happen. In addition to breaking the record for the largest gathering of Star Trek fans anywhere, the latest UK Trek-themed convention gains a place at the top of the “WTF?” list and has surely become a legendary moment for actor John Barrowman.

While hosting this past weekend’s Destination Star Trek Five Captains panel – where all five Star Trek captains were under the same roof answering fans’ questions and such – the Doctor Who and Torchwood star asked former Enterprise captain Scott Bakula to sign one of his butt cheeks. Being the sport that he his, Bakula proceeded to semi-permanently sign Barrowman’s torpedo bay under the watchful eyes of fellow Sci-fi captains Sir Patrick Stewart, Avery Brooks, Kate Mulgrew and captain James T. Kirk himself, William Shatner.

We can’t see everyone’s faces, but judging by the image posted by the @Team_Barrowman twitter page, at least Shatner is having a grand old time of it all.  It’s something like this that could only happen at a convention.

Special thanks to Blastr for sharing the background image to every Torchwood fangirl’s computer for the next six months.

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The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or PETA to those of us that don’t really care about the long form of their name, have begun to protest a new, outlandish cause. Having previously made claims that Mario’s use of his famous Tanooki suit in Super Mario 3D Land was inhumane, the animal rights group is now fighting for the equal treatment of Pokemon.

It sounds even more insane than claims they’ve made toward other Nintendo games, but according to PETA Pokemon are treated:

“akin to how elephants are chained up in train carts, waiting to be let out to “perform” in circuses. But the difference between real life and this fictional world full of organized animal fighting is that Pokemon games paint rosy pictures of things that are actually horrible.”

We’re not trying to troll you – this is a legitimate claim from PETA.  But why are they doing this now instead of using one of the many chances they’ve already had to protest the franchise in the last decade?  Because Pokemon Black & White 2 was just released.

In order to combat our sick desire to pit Pokemon vs. Pokemon, the animal rights group has placed on their site a mini-game called Pokemon Black & Blue.  It’s their attempt to save the impressionable minds of our youth via Pokemon vs. Trainer battles. We’ve linked the fifteen minute game in the image below for you to “play”. It plays slightly similar to it’s friendly counter-part, but with an emphasis on fair treatment for digital animals.

I wonder if PETA did some fact checking on the theme of the Pokemon franchise.  The message in Pokemon is that of equality between trainers and the Pokemon they work beside in their various quests. Even in a recent article from Forbes, author David Ewalt wrote:

“The games are loaded with an endless stream of characters who go on and on about true friendship between man and Pokemon.  It’s so saccharine and so completely opposite what PETA suggests that it boggles the mind.”

None of the Pokemon titles, past or present, have been linked to cases of animal cruelty at any time that we know of.  Nor have they made us want to whip our Game Boys because our Pokemon evolved to soon (even though that did suck). Don’t get us wrong, some of the causes PETA defends are actually quite noble. This time, however, their attempt at social relevance is lost. We can’t wait to hear what they claim we’re doing to Furbys though – now that’s a serious issue.

Source: PETA

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What’s the first thing you do when a man in costume asks you if you’re in need off assistance? Well, according to what occurred to 23 year-old New Jersey resident, and Real Life Superhero, Matthew Argintar you call the police and have the man arrested.

Mansfield Township police arrested Argintar, known under his superhero identity as Beast, last week after reports of an individual approaching customers at a local Home Depot asking them if they needed help. Police arrived on scene and arrested the unarmed ex-military policeman and charged him with ”disorderly conduct and unlawful possession of handcuffs.” Argintar recently issued a statement disputing the charges saying:

“I’ve been doing this for months. I’ve been going out at night and doing this, and meanwhile the one time I decide to go out in the day…” Argintar said. “We are out there to try and inspire hope because that’s what the people need right now: hope… I’m not going out there looking for a fight.”

This could be a case of a social bias right now in America and abroad — masked individuals walking around in a real world Kick-Ass scenario — but you have to look at the other side as well. To some, “Beast” was seen as another possible menace looking for what could have been an opportunity to hurt or kill someone.

Argintar says he was looking to instill good will and kindness into others through his persona, even if the approach was what some would say is a wrongheaded way to go about it. Shame on the local media as well for calling him a “Batman look-alike”, the only thing he has in common is the fact that he was wearing a mask, nothing more and the media is just looking to literally scare up ratings by using the buzz word of the moment.

For his alleged crimes, Argintar may face up to seven months in county jail if convicted and is scheduled for a court appearance on August 21st in Mansfield Township Municipal Court.

Source: Bleeding Cool

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We’ve got less than twenty-four hours till the start of the year’s biggest comic convention and we already have some tragic news.With 150,000 or more people expected to be attending the San Diego Comic-Con (ourselves included), the Comic-Con Twitter page issued a small warning for individuals:

Please do not line up for Hall H, set-up is not complete. Read the complete line-up guidelines: http://bit.ly/Na5LFZ ‪#SDCC‬ ‪#twilight

This was back on Monday, when fans of the Twilight franchise began lining up early to partake in the panel for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn—Part 2. It’s going to be a hard panel to get in to and normally we’d be joking about this, but now is nowhere near the time.

It has been brought to our attention that a 53-year-old Twilight attendee has died prior to the opening of SDCC.

Gisella, like many others, was heading for Twilight panel line up when, according to reports, she was struck by an oncoming vehicle while trying to cross at Fifth and Harbor in San Diego. Police were contacted at 9:20 a.m but when the ambulance arrived, the victim had suffered severe head trauma and was bleeding profusely. The driver that struck Gisella stayed on the scene the whole time and Gisella was taken to the hospital, but sadly succumbed to her injuries at the hospital.

This poor soul died on her way to seeing people she idolized at a time that should have been the happiest she’d ever been. This is no way anyone should enter the next life and we here at Nerd Bastards offer our condolences to Gisella’s family and friends, as well as everyone who was witness to the unfortunate scene. An online Twitter petition is being passed around asking for a moment of silence at the panel to honor Gisella.

Remember to be aware of your surroundings and please safe out there this week, everyone!

*EDITORS NOTE: Earlier this article ran under a different, regrettable title. It was not our intent to upset people or make light of the situation but we did and we apologize for offending our readers and vow to be more sensitive in the future regarding these matters.

Source: Blastr

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I’m sure you’ve seen the zombie-esque headlines involving a naked man eating another man’s face and another of a New Jersey man who stabbed himself 50 times, cut out his own intestines and threw them at the police.  Creepy, right? Upon reading these stories, I imagine the normal immediate reaction is something like: “It has begun. Finally, I can put my chainsaw and shot gun to good use!” – normal for us nerds, anyway. Sadly, the zombie apocalypse has not started. Hell, the CDC was actually forced to address (mostly online) concerns about deadites feasting on the living.  Suffice to say, you can put your weapons of facial destruction down (for now). If anything, these wacko stories teach us to be a little more alert. When a maniac comes charging at you… GTFO or do your best Chuck Norris impression.

Anyhow, some resident of Florida (why is it always Florida? Why are they not like the rest of us?), completely forgetting about the whole “fight or flight” thing, thought it would be funny to play off this whole zombie scare.

Vitaly Zdorovetskiy got a buddy with a video camera to follow him, decked himself out as a member of the walking dead and took to the streets in Miami, terrorizing basketball players and folks in parking lots.

It’s a (mostly) funny video involving lots of people running for the hills. However, if you watch closely at the 2:00 mark, you’ll see some hoodlum fire a gun (repeatedly) at Zdorovetskiy.

Damn fool almost got himself shot. The stupidity serves him right. That’s like dressing up as terrorist and running around screaming “dirka dirka” after some foiled plot hits the news.

Source: Blastr

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I’ve seen the Dark Knight Rises trailer sweded. I’ve seen it redone in LEGO. I’ve even seen it cut to animation from Batman: The Animated Series. Just when I think I’ve seen it all, a more devious and delicious re-enactment comes to explode my eye sockets. Youtuber sausagepartypresents did a shot-by-shot re-cut of the first Dark Knight Rises trailer done with hot dogs. You heard right. Hot dogs.

And here I didn’t think they could make Bane look any more like a weenie.

I feel slightly dummer having watched this, but fuck it… I applaud the bizarre imagination.

On a side note: Am I the only one that will be pleasuring himself to Hot Dog Catwoman?

Source: Topless Robot

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