UPDATE:  Frosty from Collider got to sit down with Jonah Hill and talk about whether or not he has signed on for Robert Rodriguez’s ‘Machete’ and we get this:

Collider: Are you doing “Machete”?

Jonah: I haven’t read it yet. I love Robert Rodriguez. He called me today. He called me and said I’d like you to be in “Machete” and sent me the script and I have to read it tonight. So that was a little premature on their part to release that. But I’m definitely considering it. I have to literally read the script to decide whether I’m going to do it or not.

Yesterday He Was A Decent Man Living A Decent Life. Now He Is A Brutal Savage Who Must Slaughter To Stay Alive
So the filming of the long awaited ‘Machete’ starts in under two weeks but besides Mexican Badass, Danny Trejo we have no idea who is else involved. It’s rumored that Robert De Niro, Jonah Hill and Michelle Rodriguez are joining the cast. Wait, do some of you not know what ‘Machete’ is? Ok, lets back up here for a second and fill you in (geeze and you call yourselves nerds). Machete is a full length expansion of a fake trailer Robert Rodriguez directed for the 2007 film Grindhouse (video after the jump). It stars Danny Trejo as a former Mexican Federale pretending to be a day laborer who gets hired to assassinate an anti-immigration senator, but is double-crossed and left for dead. As the announcer says,”“If you’re gonna hire Machete to kill the bad guy, you better make damn sure the bad guy isn’t you.” The simple thing to say is, mexican guy goes ape shit and brutally murders a bunch of honkeys for revenge. So anyways, back to the casting rumors.
Bloody-disgusting received a tip from a reliable source that says 
DANNY TREJO is returning (obviously) as “Machete”, the madman bent on revenge.
MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ (“Lost”, Fast & Furious, Avatar) is said to be playing “Luz”.
JONAH HILL, the comedian who has starred in such films as Superbad and the forthcoming Adam Sandler comedy Funny People, will play “Julio”.
ROBERT DE NIRO, will take on the role of “Senator McLaughlin”.
Oh but wait, it doesn’t stop there. Not only do the folks over at the playlist un-officially confirm that 3/4 actors are in final dicussion (De Niro being up in the air) but they say that Steven Seagal and Lindsey Lohan are also set to appear. WTF, Lohan??? Dude I was totally digging the rumor mill till this red headed psychos named was dropped. If she has to be in the movie lets hope she’s naked for a good portion of it.
Here’s the original faux trailer that was featured in grindhouse. (Warning: NSFW)

Category: Film

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