Most weapons designed for the Zombie apocalypse, while often bad-ass, are completely impractical. Heck, I once saw an assault rifle with a chainsaw bayonet. Yes, adding a chainsaw to anything immediately makes it awesome, but fitting one to a hunting assault rifle isn’t very wise. It would spray the diseased flesh all over you, getting into your mouth and eyes. Which would then turn you into a zombie, wouldn’t it? I digress, the point is, while there is some neato stuff out there, we REAL zombie survival enthusiasts need a multi-purpose, precision weapon. Something like the Dead-On Annihilator Superhammer (pictured above).This isn’t a novelty apocalyptic survival tool. NO, the DOAS is the zombie killin’ tool:

It makes a wicked anti-zombie device.

The spike mounted at the bottom can pierce the skull of a walker like a spork through pudding. The claw is just the right size to lodge in a fetid rotting eye-socket, and the sharpened edge behind the handle is just sharp enough to remove a virulent biting head from a shambling corpse.

Dead-On bottle-opener
Multi-purpose wrench
Nail puller
Demolition axe rips through dry wall, shingles, strips conduit, beheads zombies *
Chisel smashes through tile, brick, concrete, skulls *
Precise balance means you won’t get tired wielding it

OK, so technically the Dead-On Annihilator Superhammer is just a common construction tool you can find at any hardware store. It’s purpose is for prying, splitting, board bending & heavy striking jobs, but I know a zombie killin’ tool when I see it. You can buy one now for under 40 bucks over at ThinkGeek.




Category: Nerd Culture

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