I’m dating myself here, but I vaguely remember that when ‘The Green Hornet’ hit TV screens, China went ballistic in seeing someone who looked like them play the superhero Kato. He was by no means the main character, but don’t tell that to Hong Kong because they changed the title to ‘The Kato Show.’ That was completely out of pride and love for their real life hometown hero Bruce Lee and a little bit of “not getting it.” Japan, on the other hand, isn’t doing anything like that. Like most countries, Japan likes to take stuff and just twist it into their interpretation of it, flummoxing the hell out of everybody else. And that’s why they’re awesome. Here we have three Japanese TV spots of ‘Guardians Of The Galaxy’ that start off in the end zone and end up in right field. Join me in trying to decipher these super best terrific visuals!

Every now and then, I wish I could understand Japanese. The opening credits of ‘Cutey Honey’ come to mind. If I had to guess, I’d say the serene stills of raccoons peacefully kicking it set the stage for a narration on mutation. Because next thing you know, Rocket’s blasting the shit out of robot cops in prison. At one point the speaker says “Chewie” and I wonder if he’s likening the raccoon to Chewbacca. I am crazy lost on this video and I love it at the same time.

Then it tells Groot’s story. A relaxing score with palm trees and flowers put us in a good place. Then, Groot does Groot stuff from the movie. Can’t blame him – he IS Groot, after all.

Star Lord’s spot trails in the best open so far, but with the least interesting follow-up. I say that probably because he’s not an animal or a tree. We get pics of bumbling idiots being luckless – dropping delivery boxes; one holding his knee after falling off a ladder; a pencil pusher freaking out after he apparently dropped coffee on his desk. Somehow this all relates to Peter Quill, whom I’m just thinking Japan considers a moron at this point. He appears in shots of movie heroism, but I swear I think they’re calling him a tool. Which makes me giggle my ass off! I love the idea that because he’s got a sarcastic wit and kinda goofs off a bit, he’s seen over there as being a clown-ass. Baka!


I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. If anyone knows what the voice over is saying, I’d love it if you sounded off below. Sayonara!

Via – Pajiba

Category: Film, WTF?

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