OUT929293(‘Guess Who Monday’ is a weekly feature here at nerdbastards, where we challenge you to take a look at the lastest, grown up, former child star and see if you can guess who they use to be. )

When we do ‘Guess Who Monday’ we generally leave the personally commentary to side. But, it today’s case I feel it necessary to say that this pariah of Hollywood was a child actress that I crushed over for many years. In fact she was probably the first on screen girl that determined my sexuality. Had it not been for her I might be loving double rainbows in another capacity. Of course that was then, and after recently watching the film for which she is famous for I can’t say the pink, high waisted, “mom pants” she wore does anything for me for me anymore.

Anyway, who is the striking lass with the lavish lips, piercing eyes and hair that’s way too damn short (pictured above)? Well, if the clue in my earlier rant was to vague here’s another. Her career lasted about the equivalent to the size of her character, in one of the last great films of Rick Moranis.



(Amy’s Dance. Let’s face it. We all wanted to be that mop)

Did you guess Amy O’neil the actress that played Amy Szalinski in the 1989 movie “Honey, I Shrunk The Kids”? If so, then good for you. You win a cupcake IOU (redeemable, never). In retrospect Amy wasn’t as good looking as I remember. I dunno what it is, perhaps it really is those “mom pants” or maybe it’s that her nose is big enough to blanket the entire north eastern midget little people community.Well, at least she’s one of those actress’s that actually look better as they get older.

I was gonna say case in point, but from the picture below I think I can say I’m officially over her. Chick freaked me out dress like a clown. Think I’m going to have nightmares.


So what’s this clown business? After her interest in acting had waned, O’Neill quit acting in 1994 after getting scripts that required nudity (fuck, she gave that up. bitch!). She met old childhood friend, Roy Johns, owner of a few circus acts. As she watched his work, she became interested in how active the girls in his performances were. She became involved with his acts and is now part of John’s crew.

Eh, when all else fails. Join the circus.

Amy O’neil we speak your name. Now, wipe that scary ass clown make-up off and do the only real hollywood alternative. Porn.

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