It’s another unruly review for nerdbastards.com!
Just in time for Halloween, I bring you:
Because of This Crappy Movie
1. Small children singing.
2. Kindly old groundskeepers and school custodians:
6. And, further, menstruation:
8. Creepy blue light:
9. Group pictures:
But there is one shining light in Nightmare, one golden orb of goodness and light, much like when Sir Galahad saw the Holy Grail.
I know that most of the people reading this review are probably guys. But this is like when you say, “Man, Angelina Jolie is hot,” and somebody says, “Dude, you need to see Gia.”
He’s just so young and cute. And partially clothed. Or maybe my memory’s off.
Still, guys. Gia. She’s young and mostly nude. Check into it.
So that’s my review of A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Wait, you wanted plot?
It’s a 1980’s horror movie, for pete’s sake. Here’s the plot: Bad guy comes back to life, terrorizes teens, boobs are shown, effects are hilariously horrible, more bewbs, more blood, creepy children, bad guy is killed, only the good girl lives.
OR DOES HE COME BACK TO LIFE AND KILL HER, TOO? MUAHAHA!
You’ll have to watch the 47 sequels plus the mash-up with Friday the 13th to learn the truth.**