‘Conan The Barbarian’ Review

I’ll be honest, I hadn’t much faith in this movie when it was first announced; the trailers didn’t particularly excite me either. Prior to viewing, I was decidedly against favoring this reboot because I hold such a high regard to the original 1982 Arnold Schwarzenegger version. Arnie’s Conan offered more than gratuitous nudity, tons of violence and oiled musclemen, it was a philosophical epic. It’s a film of great resonance and subtlety. This NEW Conan, directed by Marcus Nispel, does not even come close to matching the grandeur and significance of the original, but I don’t think it was ever meant to. What we have here is an alternative Conan. One that stands on it’s own context and one that is arguably truer to the original Robert E. Howard novels. Much to my surprise, it’s a pulpy piece of action/adventure goodness.

The story is this; as Morgan Freeman tells us: Conan is a young Cimmerian man cast adrift in the world by the brutal murder of his father and the destruction of his village. Driven by the need to avenge himself upon the evil Khalar Zym, Conan learns to steal, seduce, and fight his way to his goals. He soon discovers, however, that there are greater things at stake than his own personal quest: an unearthly malevolence stalks the world, and it may be up to Conan himself to save Hyboria from ruin.

I’ve had a man crush on Jason Momoa since I first saw him as the horse ridin’ Khal Drogo in HBO’s Game of Thrones. Admittedly, my penis instantly inverts into a mangina when I see this man, who IMO is the embodiment of bad-assery. That latter assertion is certainly evident here. He’s lean, mean and he’s no Arnold Schwarzenegger, but Momoa IS Conan the Barbarian. Rough, tough, gruff (goddamn I love rhyming) calculating and cool. Momoa embodies the barbarian and swashbuckling aspects of the character. A worthy successor to the Cimmerian’s throne.



A new, UK trailer for director Marcus Nispels reboot of Conan the Barbarian has arrived, courtesy of the film’s Facebook page.

Fuck this movie! I’m sorry, maybe I just idealize the original Arnold Schwarzenegger version so much that I’m decidedly against favoring this reboot. I know it’s trying to stay true to the original Robert E. Howard novels, but it looks bloody awful. It’s like Conan got thrown in a blender with The Mummy and Van Helsing. Yea, we all have a hard on for horse guy from ‘Game of Thrones’ (Jason Momoa), but looking past that, does this trailer really excite you?

Hitting 3D and 2D theaters on August 19, the fantasy action adventure stars Jason Momoa, Rachel Nichols, Stephen Lang, Rose McGowan Sayd Taghmaoui, Ron Perlman, Leo Howard, Steve O’Donnell, Raad Rawi, Nonso Anozie, Bob Sapp and Milton Welsh.

Conan is a young Cimmerian man cast adrift in the world by the brutal murder of his father and the destruction of his village. Driven by the need to avenge himself upon the evil Khalar Zym, Conan learns to steal, seduce, and fight his way to his goals. He soon discovers, however, that there are greater things at stake than his own personal quest: an unearthly malevolence stalks the world, and it may be up to Conan himself to save Hyboria from ruin.


This guy gives chubby nerds hope. Jonah Hill has kissed Emma Stone, traded jokes with Seth Rogan, Adam Sandler, and scores of talented comedians. He’s done The Simpson. There probably hasn’t been many funny films that you haven’t seen this guy in or heard his voice.

Today it was revealed by THR that Jonah is making his move to direct The Kitchen Sink, it’s about “a human teenager, a vampire, and a zombie must save their town from an alien invasion.” It’s so over the top, that the title of the screenplay “The Kitchen Sink“ is in reference to the popular saying that something has everything but the kitchen sink. This movie has everything but werewolves and ghosts. Sony Pictures has acquired the movie, and Jonah Hill is the first choice to direct.

Written by Oren Uziel, the screenplay has been pitched as “The Breakfast Club” meets “Zombieland.” The movie begins with high school kids being attacked by zombies. While the kids and zombies fight, the zombies are attacked by vampires. Just then, a bright light comes from the sky, and all the Earth bound characters realize that aliens have landed on Earth and they must fight together to drive off the invading aliens.

Has a little for everyone it seems. So much fantastic in a single dose could be the films down fall, or it could be the greatest thing EVER! I hope for the latter but being that Jonah is fat and this is his first directorial gig I do have my worries. Course, he is an Apatow guy, they can do no wrong.

source: THR

Some Sweet Spiderman Musical Photos!

Vogue Gallery 2

So in more news about the most expensive musical never seen, Spider Man: Turn Off The Dark photos have just been released from the upcoming issue of Vogue (oh my). In the photos we meet our Mary Jane (Jennifer Damiano) and also get to see Carnage! The project was directed by Julie Taymor and cost around 60 million! Now this project has definitely had some setbacks and was continually pushsed back for its release and is finally set for January… I think. Now I LOVE musicals but I’m just not sure that Spider Man was meant to be brought to the stage. But what is undeniable is that with the acrobatics that Spider Man performs and also epic fight scenes it was only a matter of time before someone entertained the idea of a doing a musical like this. And for some reason I’m somewhat compelled to see this thing! Regardless if the project starring Reeve Carney and featuring songs by U2 is good or not these pics are badass and I think you’ll enjoy. Check ’em out after the jump!

Source: GeekTyrant


Oh My! A New Tron Legacy Trailer


So the newest trailer for Tron Legacy is out and um… I guess it’s cool.  It’s undeniable that the grpahics are INCREDIBLE compared to the first Tron that was made by Disney is 1982; However, this is a new time and technologoly is SO much more advanced now.  What makes the first film so great is that is took a risk by being one of the first films to delve into CGI images.  The film had a set vision and purpose.  The plot in Tron also has substance and is intriguing.  The original Tron creates a whole computer generated world right in front of us, something never really seen before.  The new Tron consist of a lot of fluff and Disney is seriously playing on our nostalgia here. Sometimes certain films need to just be left alone.  But maybe I’m being too harsh.  At least it has Olivia Wilde and she’s pretty fantastic so that’s a plus.  Check out the new Tron Legacy Trailer and I also included the old one just for comparison for those of you who haven’t seen the 82 Tron!  What do you guys think about the new trailer and the movie in general??  Tron will be hitting theaters December 17th and maybe then we can judge if there is really something there.

Source: ToplessRobot

south park indiana jones

Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was a colossal disappointment by any measure. Christ, the iconic film character deserved a lot better than that. So it goes with out saying that we fans really don’t want a 5th installment to the series. On the other hand, some of us want to give George Lucas and Steven Spielberg the chance to redeem themselves and give Indy the send off he deserves. Personally I’d like to quote Mr. Henry Jones and say “Indiana.. let it go”. While sayers and naysayers duke it out there are more fridges to nuke my friends, Indy 5 is happening.

Since we haven’t talked about it in a while, and being that there a quite a few of you bastards out there that are a little behind on the news lets back track here for a moment and tell you what we know.

In June of 2009, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull co-star Shia LaBeouf told reporters that Steven Spielberg had “cracked” the story for Indiana Jones 5 and that he believed “they’re gearing that up.” Then in August of 09  the Beouf told Showbiz Spy:

“They’re script writing right now,” says Shia. “I got called into Steven’s office and he pitched a little bit to me and it sounds crazy, it sounds really cool.”

While no official announcements were made Shia’s comments were all we had to go on. That is until Harrison Ford himself reiterated the first part of Shia’s previous statement, telling the BBC in March of this year that “Steven [Spielberg] and George [Lucas] and I are sort of agreed on a germ of an idea and we’re seeing what comes of it.”

Ford went onto to explain the process: “The process works like this… We come to some basic agreement and then George goes away for a long time and works on it. Then Steven and I get it in some form, some embryonic form. Then if we like it we start working with George on it and at some point down the line it’s ready and we do it.”

Now, while promoting his TV news comedy, Morning Glory, on CNN,  Ford said that “George tells us that he’s working on something, and both Steven [Spielberg] and I are waiting to see.” He also added that he’d “be happy to do another one if we could all agree on it and it was something that I thought was going to work.”

So there you have it. It it sounds like they are only at step one. If a fifth Indiana Jones movie ever happens, it’s very likely we won’t see it for some time.

Indiana Jones in 3D!!!


As most of you know, the big news last month was that Lucasfilm has set the Star Wars trilogy – Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope, Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back and Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (and I think the prequels as well) to be re-released theatrically with a 3D Conversion, starting sometime in 2012. Well, it appears another classic saga will be getting the same treatment.

Blue Sky Disney is reporting a new rumor that LucasFilm will convert the entire Indiana Jones saga – Raiders Of The Lost Ark, Indiana Jones & The Temple Of Doom, Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull into the 3D format.

There’s not much known about this new Indy conversion, with the site claiming LucasFilm will officially announce the news next month. The site also reports that Raiders Of The Lost Ark will be the first movie released. It isn’t known when these movies will be hitting theaters in the 3D format.

I dunno how to feel about this. I’m on the “hate 3D” bandwagon. Well, I like 3D, but only when it’s called for (Avatar being the one true good use of it).  I, like many of you am F’N sick of every movie getting the 3D treatment. It’s a ridiculously overused, wallet raping gimmick (like $3 tacked on to already overpriced ticket). It’s good for special occasions and films that it’s intended for, but every movie? It’s becoming tiresome. Now, the question is, would this be a special occasion? Would Indiana Jones in 3D be worth seeing? I’m actually inclined to think so. With the exception of The Last Crusade I never saw the first two films in the theater. I’d love to see them on the big screen. And, I’m pretty goddamn sure you would too. Sure, re-releases are nothing but studio and creative money grabs, but for us fans it’s a nice treat. What of the 3D? It certainly lends itself to the Star Wars saga (who wouldn’t want to see the Death Star trench run in 3D?), but Indy? Not so much.  Then again, I’d gladly pay an extra 3 bucks to see the Nazi face melt scene at the end of Raiders. That might actually be worth it. Also, keep in mind that 3D is still huge draw for the average movie goer. If it brings people to the theater who never saw Indy, or they wish to introduce it to their kids and 3D is that extra thing that hooks em’ in then that’s a good thing, right?

This is certainly a debatable subject. I’m sure you have your own opinion on this. Please do share with the group. Tell us what you think in the comment section below.

source: geektyrant via Blue Sky Disney

‘True Lies’ To Be New Series on ABC


“THE BRIDDDDGEEE! THE BRIDGE IS OOUUUTTTT!!!!” HAHA, sorry bastards I couldn’t help it.

So, do y’all memba the Schwarzennegger movie “True Lies“? The flick about about a family man who’s a secret spy, and has to stop a nuclear threat from terrorists? Or as we remember it, the last time Jamie Lee Curtis looked hot (and wasn’t hawking poop yogurt). The last time Tom Arnold was funny and the first and last time Eliza Dushku didn’t act like a douch. OK, the line about Eliza Dushku was a true lie. She’s always acted like a douche. Hot as hell, but this “I’m a tough girl from Boston” act is shit and annoying. She needs to do playboy or GTFO. Anyway, the film was a huge success and for years there was always talk of a sequel. Since Jamie Lee Curtis’s asshole fell out and has been making them yoplait commercials it’ s fair to say a sequel never happened. Well, sequel or no sequel the family Spy drama genre is a hot ticket. (Umm, Bradgelina’s “Mr. and Mrs. Smith“, Ashton Kutcher’s “Killers” and J.J. Abrams’ “Undercovers” anyone?) And, to strike while the iron’s hot, James Cameron‘s Lightstorm Entertainment is apparently developing a television series based on the film True Lies. Deadline reports:

ABC, which has been largely out of the spy genre since Alias, is reentering it in a big way. The network, which already is developing a Charlie’s Angels reboot, just landed the series adaptation of James Cameron’s 1994 action comedy True Lies, in a premium deal that includes a large penalty. Cameron is executive producing the project, which was taken to the networks earlier this week, with Rene Echevarria, who will serve as writer and showrunner and Lightstorm’s Rae Sanchini and Jon Landau. 20th Century Fox TV is producing.

Eh, a True Lies T.V. show? Why not? It could be could. Well, just a long as Eliza Dushku has no part of it. What do you guys think? Are you tired of the family spy genre or are you maybe kinda excited to see True Lies to get adapted into a televsion series? Please share your comments below.

Scott Pilgrim vs The World Movie Poster(NOTE: This post will be stickied to the top of the page until the end of the weekend)

That wait is over. Edgar Wright‘s Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is here!!! But, was it worth the wait? It’s being herald as one of our generations most outlandish, quirky, stylistic, unconventional, pieces of cinematic heaven.  Does it live up to it’s critical acclaim? Was it a faithful adaptation of Bryan Lee O’Malley’s graphic novels? Was it fun, funny and offbeat as you were hoping? Were the visuals as splashy and stylish enough to make your pupils hurt (in a good way)? Is the films tone and sensibilities something everyone can enjoy? How was Micheal Cera? Was the role of Scott Pilgrim his most un-Cera role yet or did you still want to punch him in the face? How has Scott Pilgrim set the bar for future comic/videogame genre films?

Was Scott Pilgrim an epic of epic epicness or was it the most overrated film of the year?
Tell us what you thought. Spoilers are allowed in the comments.


The Last Airbender“, directed and written by M. Night Shyamalan is tortuously lethargic, uninvited, abysmal, and uniformly atrocious (in every aspect). And that’s me being nice!

Based on Nickelodeon‘s beloved animated series (to which I am only vaguely familiar and thus can’t compare) is set i a world in which the population is divided amid the four elements (Earth, Wind, Water and Fire) and some skilled practitioners whom can “bend” these elements to their will. Since the elements are naturally at odds with each other, an overall controller is needed to maintain order among the kingdom. This role is played by the Avatar, who can manipulate all the elements and thus can keep balance and peace amongst the tribes. Only problem is this Avatar has gone missing for 100 hundred years.