Aperture Science

Ever want to see behind the scenes of Aperture Science…without all the testing and pain of listening to Wheatley talk ? Well, put on your smart pants, because today’s your lucky day.

Thanks to a group of young nerds and their camera, this 20-minute faux documentary shows the “science” behind Aperture Science… before everyone got gassed by that insane robot GlaDOS in Portal. It’s pretty impressive stuff, if you can get past their rendition of Cave Johnson, who must have had one too many trips on the pneumatic diversity vent.

You just can’t beat the smooth tone and talent of J.K. Simmons, but it’s damn close. Suck on those lemons Black Mesa, no really, we dare you to.

Via: Topless Robot

Powered By Science: Mega Man with Portal Gun

If you’re a retro gamer then at some point in your life you’ve played a Mega man game. One of the funnest, yet stupid-hard game franchise of all time. It’s meant for kids, but you need the patience of a saint and the skill of a surgeon to finish some of the levels.

Thankfully the boys in the labs of Aperture Science let our little blue wonder “borrow” the famed Portal gun to get out of those stress inducing jams.

Who needs explosive lemons when your rocking the power of science!

Special thanks to Dorkly for the science lesson.

Via: Dorkly

Coming at you with not one but two fantastic fan films. One is an impressive Portal fan film the other French fan film in which Batman fights Wolverine. Yes, you read that right.

Earlier today we posted a Portal stage show from Fanime. That was cool, but this fan-film is wayyyyy better. Dare I say, “it takes the cake”? Assuming Portal 2 never happened, Outside Aperture, an eight minute fan film by EisenFeuer, takes place immediately after the first game. Before the story was retconned with the Party Associate dragging you back into the facility, this take imagines what happens to Chell after she escapes the the Aperture Science Laboratories.

Basically, she finds an abandoned house, still stocked with food, and begins a new life being paranoid and using her Portal gun for mundane things, like throwing out trash and scratching her back (1 portal gun, a corner, and then you are set for life). Oh, and she makes several cakes while crying, then falls asleep, lol.

Sounds kind of simple, but, it gives a minimalist representation of the human condition: post-traumatic stress disorder, fear, joy, anticipation, happiness…etc. Combined with the cinematography, music and direction that even without the source material makes it unique and wholly entertaining.

Based on the best game, hot girl, amazing effects. How can you dislike this?

source: Geekologie

In our second film, Batman Deliverance from Atomic Productions, Batman fights Wolverine. Wait, I already mentioned that, but why is Batman fighting Wolverine? Well, being a noir-inspired, French film, it’s hard to say. I’m guessing symbolism. The roughly nine minute film is heavily influenced by Frank Miller‘s The Dark Knight Returns, in where an aging Bruce Wayne is coming to terms with his legacy and death.

It’s my guess that Wolverine in this film represents either death or Bruce’s want of vengeance. So he’s a creation of Batman’s subconscious or some such artsy-fartsy nonsense. But does this really matter? You want to watch Batman and Wolverine kick each others’ asses in the crossover film neither Marvel nor DC want to admit is a fantastic idea.

source: TheMarySue

Nerdbastards Review: Portal 2

The original Portal was a masterful piece of work that premiered in a collection known as the “Orange Box” which included Half Like 2, Half Life 2: Episode Two and Team Fortress Two.

The plot was simple: You were a test subject in the Aperture Science underground lab, that was supervised my a mentally unstable computer called GLaDoS. Using your portal gun, you navigated your way through the impossible tests GLaDoS tries to kill you with and ultimately destroying her and escaping. It was short, filled to the brim with dark humor,  sometimes frustrating, but always entertaining piece of mind-bending gaming. So, when Valve Studios announced a sequel, I was a bit nervous.

I am happy to report that my fears were groundless! Portal 2 succeeds in almost every way in which you could possibly want it to, and does it with a smile.



He’s a tiny Italian plumbing machine, he get’s more princess tail then his taller twin brother, he’s…carrying an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. Just what in Nintendo’s good name is Mario doing with a Portal gun in the land of walking mushrooms and and talking turtles anyhow?

Mario goes old-school but has himself some fun with science in this original short from Dorkly. These guys really know how to take two things and make an awesome nerdy short out of it.

Mushrooms are just science with drugs

Now if only they could have made Luigi’s Mansion could have been this fun.

Via: Dorkly

Something’s are too cute to explain and some are so cute that they’re deadly, this one however is just plain cute. The companion cube in Portal was such a hit with fans that they started making their own plush cubes. Well now that Portal 2 has been hitting the PS3, X-Box 360 and your home computer it looks like fans have decided to make another plush; just a bit skinnier this time. It’s not the Aperture Science robots Atlas and P-body but the turret can be just as cute, the bullets thankfully are just stuffing.

Dispensing Product

Made by Jonathan M. Guberman and Leigh Nunan, they created this fully interactive Portal turret and by fully interactive we mean it won’t kill you. It does sense when you’re there, when you pick it up, and when you knock it over, and it responds appropriately.

shut up and take my money. Mass produce this now.

Via: Buzzfeed


Give me a P. Give me an A. Give me an X. What does that spell? PAX…you dyslexic sucka duck! YES, the much-anticipated, annual, nerdfest PAX East (a la Penny Arcade) in Boston came, went and totally took advantage of the prime real estate that is my body. I need a breath mint, deodorant and massage from a small Vietnamese woman with mighty – yet gentle- hands (and is up for expected happy ending). For those of you scratching your heads wondering what the hell is PAX East?! First, I’d like to slap you upside the head for being an ignorant douche-canoe. This is our culture. How do you not know about this?!?! OK, here’s a quick run-through: PAX East, is  like a smaller E3, but intended for consumers rather than developers. See, they get a bunch of video game hot shots to show off their hardware, software and um…in some cases hot chicks in tall boots

These boots were made for walkin' and that's just what they'll do, these boots are gonna walk all over you"

"These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do, one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you."

Then, they invite the public to hang out and fall in love with all kinds of the latest, greatest gear and games on (or about to enter) the video game scene. Attendees can play games, attend panel sessions about all kinds of cool stuff, see live music and even compete in video game tournaments! Exciting, right? YES! Especially if you like shiny bags of SWAG, the occasional hot chick in costume, new technology, and inspiring speeches.

So now you have a pretty solid idea of what goes on in general. What might not be entirely clear to you is the feeling of “home”. *cue the violin for sappy time* Let’s face it, we as gamers are strange and weird. We typically don’t mesh well with the world outside our own. The acceptance in ordinary society is growing quite rapidly, but how many people in your life truly appreciate and understand your pleasure, your obsession, your escape? While we’re predominantly having too much fun to care, wouldn’t it be nice to be embraced by a collective mutuality? After all, you know gamer friends are the perfect circle of people you always want to hang out with. Why not a sea of thousands, all singing to the tune of “Let’s Play”? Simply put, PAX is your haven. Your heaven. Your home.

Now, onto swamp ass, girls and games.



The upcoming videogame, Portal 2, has just become available to pre-order. Commence rejoicing!

You can pre-order the game here, which (as a special pre-order bonus), comes with free downloadable skins for the co-op robots.

But, the most exciting thing today was that the brains behind Portal, created a special video commemorating Valentine’s Day from Aperture Science (which makes all the funky death traps, homicidal robots and guns).

Watch the hilarious video below. And remember, everything is better when you think with portals!


Aperture Science is Hiring!


How would you like to work for Aperture Science, the fake technology company made famous in the videogame Portal?

The game takes place with the player stuck inside a testing facility for Aperture Science, and using your wits (and a fancy portal gun), you must escape the clutches of the killer artificial intelligence holding you hostage. A sequel to the game is coming out soon, and it cannot be released soon enough.

Check out the very funny job posting below, for those people who would like to work for such a fun-loving company. I wonder what would happen if you actually applied …

As for the job, remember: While you may be a prisoner and needlessly experiment upon, at least you’ll have the homicidal robot GLaDoS to keep you company. Oh, and cake!