Reese Witherspoon

I’m sorry I couldn’t find a picture with cleavage. I know that is important. I have failed you.

Reese Witherspoon, aka that actress who you despise because of Sweet Home Alabama and Legally Blonde, but who you used to sorta dig because of her appearance in Election and the virgin heat she put off in Intolerable Cruelty, has been arrested in Georgia for some stuff.

She did the alleged stuff allegedly when her husband was arrested for an alleged DUI. The stuff she did reportedly included asking the cop if he knew her name, but this shit is all alleged, so keep that in mind.

This part wasn’t in the report that I didn’t read because Game of Thrones was on last night and it was fucking awesome, but I assume she then asked if he liked Water for Elephants and that she then became irate when the cop was like, “What the fuck is that?” and she was like: “It’s this period drama about a circus and some shit. It had me in it and the kid from Twilight — no, the other kid, the one who can sorta act. It won a fucking People’s Choice award. How do you not fucking know that!?!?!”

Yeah, I can totally see it going down like that.

Fun fact: Witherspoon used to be married to Ryan Phillipee (who is not the guy who allegedly drove drunk). He is famous for a sorta gruff sorta New York accent even though his Wikipedia page says he is from Delaware. Wikipedia is fucking awesome. Philipee was also in MacGruber, which was also fucking awesome.

Reese Witherspoon

Anyway, Witherspoon is sorry for the stuff she did and she released a statement through her publicist. Here is that statement:

Out of respect for the ongoing legal situation, I cannot comment on everything that is being reported right now. But I do want to say, I clearly had one drink too many and I am deeply embarra…

FUUUUUUUUUUUCK, I don’t care. Do you care? I’ve heard people ask a variation of the “Do you know who I am” thing when their debit card gets declined or some poor, sad, bastard gets their order wrong. It’s a thing people say. Big fucking deal, Tracy Flick isn’t perfect.

Fuck this story, here’s a picture of Nick Nolte’s mugshot.

Reese Witherspoon

So, do you Nerd Bastards and Bitches (is that a thing we’re doing? I don’t feel like that’s okay.) have an opinion about this? I don’t fucking care about that either.

Source: Space Ghost, EW, Yo Mama



Police Arrest Real Life Superhero “Beast”

What’s the first thing you do when a man in costume asks you if you’re in need off assistance? Well, according to what occurred to 23 year-old New Jersey resident, and Real Life Superhero, Matthew Argintar you call the police and have the man arrested.

Mansfield Township police arrested Argintar, known under his superhero identity as Beast, last week after reports of an individual approaching customers at a local Home Depot asking them if they needed help. Police arrived on scene and arrested the unarmed ex-military policeman and charged him with “disorderly conduct and unlawful possession of handcuffs.” Argintar recently issued a statement disputing the charges saying:

“I’ve been doing this for months. I’ve been going out at night and doing this, and meanwhile the one time I decide to go out in the day…” Argintar said. “We are out there to try and inspire hope because that’s what the people need right now: hope… I’m not going out there looking for a fight.”

This could be a case of a social bias right now in America and abroad — masked individuals walking around in a real world Kick-Ass scenario — but you have to look at the other side as well. To some, “Beast” was seen as another possible menace looking for what could have been an opportunity to hurt or kill someone.

Argintar says he was looking to instill good will and kindness into others through his persona, even if the approach was what some would say is a wrongheaded way to go about it. Shame on the local media as well for calling him a “Batman look-alike”, the only thing he has in common is the fact that he was wearing a mask, nothing more and the media is just looking to literally scare up ratings by using the buzz word of the moment.

For his alleged crimes, Argintar may face up to seven months in county jail if convicted and is scheduled for a court appearance on August 21st in Mansfield Township Municipal Court.

Source: Bleeding Cool

Sean Bean Arrested For Alleged Harrassement

Sean Bean was back in the news yesterday. Unlike the last time when Bean was in a bar brawl, this time he voluntarily appeared at the Holborn Central London police station for questioning concerning allegedly harassing his ex-wife Georgina Sutcliffe with abusive texts and phone calls.

A Scotland Yard spokesman said last night:

“I can confirm a man was arrested on suspicion of ­harassment yesterday and bailed until a later date.”

A photographer for the Mirror caught the above shot of Bean leaving the station after posting bail. Bean, 53, and Sutcliffe, 34, married in 2008 and were divorced two years later. She was the actor’s fourth wife. Bean’s rep did not immediately respond to a request for comment from the Mirror.

This NerdBastard sincerely hopes that Bean is not going down the same path as Mel Gibson. In the days to come we’ll likely see some of the texts and phone call recordings if they exist. NerdBastards will keep you informed as this situation develops, hopefully Bean will release a statement later this week with his side of the story.

For a lot of Spider-Man fans, Tobey Maguire is still considered, Peter Parker. But maybe some of those fans will warm up to the new web-slinger, Andrew Garfield after they give a listen to this passionate speech. It was given during The Amazing Spider-Man panel at Comic-Con when Garfield approached the mic dressed as any other Spidey cosplayer, (please not the totally appropriate fanny pack) only to then reveal himself as the film’s star! Which was then followed by much screaming.

The whole speech is very touching and you can’t help but feel endeared to the skinny Brit. Even cynics will find it hard to call this out as some ploy to sucker in fans.

Now, in a less sentimental and more, “what the fuck!?” bit of Spider-Man news, Rhys Ifans who portrays The Lizard in the upcoming flick was arrested yesterday at Comic-Con for getting into an argument with a backstage security guard. According to Reuters,

“The Amazing Spider-Man” villain Rhys Ifans was arrested and cited for misdemeanor battery for shoving a female security guard before Friday night’s Comic-Con panel for the film, police tell TheWrap.

Ifans, who smelled of alcohol, became irate when a member of his entourage was unable to enter the hall for lack of proper credentialing, police said. They said he shoved the guard in order to pass through, and was allowed to participate in the panel, but the guard subsequently made a citizen’s arrest.

A spokesman for Sony said that Ifans “deeply regrets the incident.”

“He was aggressive and belligerent,” Lt. Andra Brown said of the Welsh actor. “He was… berating everyone from the security staff to the United States of America.”

Ifans was cited and then released, and it is still up in the air whether or not the San Diego attorney will press charges. Lesson learned, don’t show up at your panel drunk. Unless you’re the fun drunk everyone wants to take pictures with, which, clearly,Ifans was not.

There’s your The Amazing Spider-Man Comic-Con update, Andrew Garfield is a sweet kid living out his dream of portraying a childhood hero and Rhys Ifans is a drunken douche.

sources: GeekTyrant, BleedingCool