Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut. Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
ABOVE: Community star Allison Brie as Captain America. I wonder if she still a virgin after WW2? [9GAG]
A few days ago in the most recent Superhero Round-Up we saw the newest and greatest augmented reality game/viral campaign for The Amazing Spider-Man, notably the two pages of cryptic code from the journal of Peter Parker. Well, the math nerds over at Superhero Hype have already cracked the code and found the secrets it protected.
Here is what the two pages of spider doodles actually said:
SOMETIMES THE FACE IN THE
MIRROR DOES NOT EVEN LOOK LIKE ME
ONE MINUTE I AM ACING MY MIDTERMS
THE NEXT I AM IN FISTFIGHTS
I HAVE MADE EVERY MISTAKE A
TEENAGER COULD MAKE BELIEVE ME I
WISH I COULD TAKE BACK MY WORST
DECISIONS BUT I CANNOT LIVE IN THE
PAST INSTEAD I MUST BECOME THE BEST
VERSION OF MYSELF I WILL SUCCEED
Yes ladies and gentleman, crappy high school poetry! This led to the discovery of the photoblog www.parkerspov.com. Yes, post after post of incredibly lame hipster-esque instragram photos. Ugh. The new Spider-Man is a filter happy emo teen. However he’s also pretty awesome at the science, because the real treat the viral/ARG revealed as a butt tonne of pics and even a video of the mechanical based webshooters from the movie.
Since they could count as spoilers, they are up after the jump.
P.s, With the revelation that Spidey really is a emo-hipster in the new movie, how many of you just started cheering for the Lizard?
Sure using an Augmented Reality card for the Nintendo 3DS is fun, but how would it look tattooed onto your skin? After a few hours at a tattoo parlor, a bit of pain and voila! A bitching AR card of your own Nintendo Mii character.
Yep, our friend Orin from I Heart Chaos, had a great idea and went running *arms flailing* to the tattoo parlor to give the world a wonderful “what the…” buried under his layers of flesh.
Now here’s exactly what the AR tattoo looks like:
Here’s the exact same tattoo shown threw the eye of the Nintendo 3DS (mind the quality of the video (you try to hold two cameras at once and play with yourself):
This is cool and all, but I can’t help but shake my head at how this half-baked idea came to be. Must have gone a little something like this:
*snorts line of hookers ass and takes another swig of beer*… I gots a great idea! Imma gonna put this here card on my body. This way I can always play with myself. Da magic video game box will stand the test of time, right? Fuck, yes it will. Here’s $200. Do not pass go, but DO tattoo this bitch. Where? Left arm seems proper. Tat looks sweet, great job. Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, it’s on the arm with my trigger finger on it. How da fuck am I supposed to play?
Shit Orin, couldn’t you have just used, I don’t know, a magic marker or one of them DIY printable (and removable) tattoos? Whatever. You are a visionary. I pioneer. We salute you!
Oh, NERD BASTARDS FAN REQUEST. Can one of you nerdy girlies out there do this on your boobies (unlike Orin from IHC, get some crayons or something). Boobs. Nintendo. Augmented Reality. Someones gotta do it.