Britney Spears


Stop putting it out there, stop reading it, stop writing it, and stop eating it up with a shovel.

There’s an episode of South Park (naturally) that strikes the nail with great ferocity and accuracy and charm. Britney Spears has shot her face off, but yet she is still thrown out to the lions and the hordes. They rip her to shreds, but the triumph is brief. The cult must have more self-proclaimed virgin blood, and so they move on to Miley Cyrus.

This was five years ago and it has proven prophecy as Cyrus’ every move is now monitored, her every action debated and labeled as bold or bizarre. She’s a slut, she’s a feminist, she’s crazy, she’s smart. We can’t make up our minds, but she is, undoubtedly, #1 in our hearts and #1 in our cross-hairs. (more…)

Trapped in carbonite and long thought lost, The Bastardcast, the internet’s most nerdy and bastardy podcast, sat waiting for a rescue from the clutches of the evil Jabba the Gallagher. One day, a young Jedi infiltrated The Bastard Palace, thumb wrestled a Rancor Monster, had a pillow fight with Jabba, and rescued both the overflowing gold bikini’d slave girlman (naturally, Jeremy R! Hudson) and free’d The Bastardcast from its prison.

“No longer will the world spin without an ample does of dick jokes, nerd conspiracy theories, geek rage, polite repartee,  snarky analysis of the news, and rabid opinions on matters as diverse as the ethics behind robot sex and why the world needs a Ronald Reagan clone army.” they said before riding on a dragon to their secret moon base recording chamber and redhead virgin emporium.

This week on The BastardCast new hosts Jason Tabrys and Jeremy R! Hudson tell you how to hide your pussy from the ALF reboot, while also discussing why Rufio is high on fairy dust and happy thoughts, the secret evil plan to clone Ronald Reagan*. Our fair bastards also get in depth on Community sans Dan Harmon and Marvel and DC’s sudden willingness to put LGBT rights at the forefront. Also, a couple of Dirty Nerdy Confessions from the boys about the shire and why one of them refuses Britney Spears’ plea to “Hit me baby one more time”.

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Two nights before the weekend, Britney, still on the upswing of her “Comeback”, and lets face it, no one wants to see this crazy train back on the rails again, did the Top Ten on Letterman. I feel totally awful from the phenom she went from to the joke she is now.

Doing national TV on the big 5, not cable, was it prudent for her to be wearing a bikini? Look, I wanted to bang Britiney more than any guy when she was 21, and I know her album sold well and she is coming back from a breakdown….But as sexy as she is, it was discussed on Stern the other day and I didn’t know until i saw for myself, was she in Bikini shape? I’m still up in the air about it…she seems to have some …spillage? and is doing some camera cheating so I’m leaving it for you decide.

Smack your arm, find a vein, ignore the damn Top 10, and see the rest of Brit’s Pics on the spike!