Charlie Sheen

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If you’re a child of the late eighties haven’t been watching The Goldbergs then you are missing out on some fantastic memories of times gone by, back before the Internet changed everything. This week, The Goldbergs is doing a Ferris Buehller’s Day Off episode and they’ve brought in the big gun to sit like a ripe cherry on top, Charlie Sheen. That’s right, Sheen is going to reprise his iconic role as “Boy in the police station.” (more…)

Machete Kills - Danny trejo and Michelle Rodriguez

With it’s release date looming (October 11), it’s nice to see the people behind Machete Kills aren’t going to mess around and leave anything to our collective imaginations. Oh sure, some movies rely on things like teasers and trailers and little featurettes to slowly build hype before hitting theatres, but not Robert Rodriguez et al. Nope, so far they have released so many clips from this Grindhouse inspired sequel that I am guessing only about five minutes remains unseen.

Why tease and titillate a film audience when you can let it all hang out like it’s last call at a Tijuana saloon and the donkey has already left…

Up after the jump we get treated to Charlie Sheen with the absolute best presidential campaign ad featuring a machine gun (sorry John McCain), Michelle Rodriguez sports an eye-patch and shows us how when one sense is lost another grows stronger, and finally, a wonderful re-enactment of grandmas old saying ‘don’t get distracted by cleavage and hairspray.’

(more…)

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Robert Rodriguez‘s Machete Kills has released another clip featuring all the Grindhouse glory that you can stand. It’s got everything: bullets flying left and right, armored cars and funky vans, beautiful women in outrageous leather outfits with particular body parts hanging out (those chaps must chafe like hell), and some weapons that defy description.

Watch the video and join me on the other side,

(more…)

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Robert Rodriguez‘s latest grindhouse style movie, Machete Kills has a new trailer out. It’s in Spanish, (We’ll post the English version later today when it hits the Internet), but you’ll quickly get the idea even if you don’t speak Spanish. Danny Trejo is back in all his magnificent gory glory as Machete and he’s got another bevy of beautifully dangerous women surrounding him.

Ex-Federale agent Machete, who is recruited by the President of the United States for a mission which would be impossible for any mortal man – he must take down a madman revolutionary and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has hatched a plan to spread war and anarchy across the planet.

UPDATE: Here’s the U.S. version:

This looks gloriously campy and fun. Grab a tub of popcorn, an enormously over-sized soda, sit back and enjoy the madness and mayhem. This film isn’t going to win any Oscars and that’s just the way we like it.

Machete Kills hits theater screens on September 13th, and also stars Michelle Rodriguez, Sofia Vergara, Amber Heard, Carlos Estevez, Lady Gaga, Antonio Banderas, Jessica Alba, Demi’n Bichir, Alexa Vega, Vanessa Hudgens, Cuba Gooding, Jr., William Sadler, Marko Zaror and Mel Gibson.

Via: Huffington Post

So, who is Warner Bros. going to cast to replace Angus Jones on CBS’ long time ratings juggernaut Two and a Half Men?

Less than two years after former star Charlie Sheen went through his tiger blood infused meltdown and left the show, the nineteen year old Jones — who has been on the series since he was 10 — has publicly blasted the sitcom, calling it filth and begging people to not watch it, something I’ve said numerous times in deference to my lord and savior: good taste.

Jones delivered these remarks and so much more in a series of heavily edited YouTube videos that were released by The Forerunner (aka Christopher Hudson), who Jones calls “a man of God” and who Jones’ mother worries may be a part of a cult that has her son in it’s clutches. To be fair, people said the same thing about Casey Affleck when he was filming Joaquin Phoenix’ downfall too.

So who is The Forerunner? Apparently he is a televangelist and a member of the Seventh Day Adventist Church who likes to quote the bible, toss out conspiracy theories about Barack Obama and Jay-Z, and solicit donations.

How young Mr. Jones came to find The Forerunner is a mystery, but to say that he has had an effect on young millionaire would be an understatement.

So, what else did Jones have to say? Well, for one thing, he thinks black people are pretty great. He also took the time to tell us about the wretched life he had been living as an 18 year old TV star — a life that included hanging out with his friends, listening to music, playing video games, and smoking the pot.

Jones also did acid, but all that changed when — as he was brainstorming designs for a tee shirt — he found God, which felt like “being hugged by your most favorite person ever, but they’re able to hug every single part of your being.” To be fair, some have said acid feels the same way, but they’re all going to hell, so you shouldn’t listen to them.

Jones also took time out from that horrible job where he makes $350k an episode to Tebow (really) and talk about a friend of his whose family has struggled to keep his house even while Jones wasted his copious cash reserves on musical equipment and hopefully things that are more exciting than that. No word on if Jones did the Christian thing and actually helped his friend out or if that revelation was reward enough. Also, the friend was possessed by God or Zuul at one point.

My favorite part of the video came at the end though, when Jones wrapped up this little kamikaze career move by saying: “The name of the game right now is compromise, meet in the middle to get things done. That’s the name of the game right now and according to the Bible, when that happens, we’re no longer standing for anything. We’re no longer on the side of the truth.” He then said “We need to pick our side” and “You need to be 100% or nothing” before The Forerunner offered him praise, saying that Jones had: “Taken his stand on the right. He’s walked away from it.”

I assume Jones then left his trailer and went to go film some more dick jokes.

Poor Chuck Lorre.

Update: 

And thud. The prophet Angus has violated his minty fresh principles, releasing a statement praising the vendors of sin that he works with over at Two and a Half Men just after his former co-star and religious adviser Charlie Sheen called the show “cursed”. Here’s the statement, as written by Satin or a thoroughly pissed off PR flack:

I have been the subject of much discussion, speculation and commentary over the past 24 hours. While I cannot address everything that has been said or right every misstatement or misunderstanding, there is one thing I want to make clear.

Without qualification, I am grateful to and have the highest regard and respect for all of the wonderful people on Two and Half Men with whom I have worked and over the past 10 years who have become an extension of my family. 

Chuck Lorre, Peter Roth and many others at Warner Bros. and CBS are responsible for what has been one of the most significant experiences in my life to date. I thank them for the opportunity they have given and continue to give me and the help and guidance I have and expect to continue to receive from them.

I also want all of the crew and cast on our show to know how much I personally care for them and appreciate their support, guidance and love over the years. I grew up around them and know that the time they spent with me was in many instances more than with their own families. I learned life lessons from so many of them and will never forget how much positive impact they have had on my life.

I apologize if my remarks reflect me showing indifference to and disrespect of my colleagues and a lack of appreciation of the extraordinary opportunity of which I have been blessed. I never intended that.

I can smell his soul burning, can’t you?

Source: THR and a guy named Jake.

 

 

This week, Jason and Jeremy continue riding a fire breathing pegasus toward internet stardom while talking about the upcoming Firefly reunion, the return of 3 Tits McGee in the new Total Recall, Ryan Reynolds playing someone other than Wade Wilson, the possible resurection of Nell Carter, and the oral hazard of squid spunk in HEADLINES.

Then, in the main arena of conversational combat, Jason tests his blood pressure meds with the very first JASON VS. EVERYONE rant where he takes on internet trolls, over sensitive fanboys, internet commenters, the Skaro Degradations, the Horde of Travesties, the Nightmare Child, the Could-Have-Been King with his army of Meanwhiles and Never-Weres, and everyone else that thumps a pulse and draws a breath in defense of Malcolm McDowell‘s right to call The Avengers “mindless crap”. (For a transcript of Jason vs Everyone, please send a self addressed stamped envelope care of this station.)

Also, computers are learning how to identify kitties. Are they trying to join forces? Is this the opening days of a PC/Kitty uprising? The boys discuss that and also reveal more DIRTY NERDY SECRETS!

The Bastardcast made it on iTunes’ New and Noteworthy list, because since Steve Jobs died it’s just early morning whip-its and nepotism run-amok at Apple.

Rate us! Love us! Hate Us… just give us attention. Please?

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Robert Rodriguez had some interesting casting choices in the grindhouse styled movie Machete and continues that trend in the sequel Machete Kills with the possible casting of Charlie Sheen as POTUS (President of the United States).

Rodriguez tweeted the announcement Thursday,

“I just cast Charlie Sheen in #machetekills as the President of the United States! Who better? More soon…”

Sheen retweeted, and a representative for the actor later confirmed that negotiations are taking place. Sheen joins a cast that includes Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Mel Gibson, Amber Heard, Sofia Vergara and Zoe Saldana.

Machete Kills sees Machete called in by the U.S. government to stop a cartel leader and an arms dealer who’s puts satellite weapons in space.

Everyone fondly remembers that Martin Sheen, (Sheen’s father) played the president in the critically acclaimed NBC series The West Wing, so maybe it won’t seem like much of a stretch to imagine Charlie there . . .

Who am I kidding, even with Sheen’s recent mia-copa, he would be a train wreck in any position of authority, let along one briefcase away from the “football” that controls the nuclear power of the United States.

Via: THR

 

While I think Law and Order needs to go off the air -sick of all these redundant cop shows-, here’s two upcoming episodes that might be worth watching. Might.

In true Law and Order style they are ripping one right from the headlines. What if the accidents on Spider Man Turn off the Dark set had turned out worse…what if they had lead to…MURDER? *Dun-dun-dun!*

Deadline reports on the Law and Order: Criminal Intent episode inspired by the blundering story of the musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark:

“What if one of the many incidents of actors getting injured on Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark had a tragic outcome? Law & Order: Criminal Intent will explore such a scenario in an upcoming episode clearly inspired by the debacle that the Spider-Man musical had become, TVLine reports. In the fictional version, the splashy musical is titled Icarus, from a high-strung director and a secretly bisexual rock-star composer. This is the latestepisode of the Law & Order franchise featuring ripped-from-the-headlines stories this season.

“secretly bisexual rock-star composer”? Whoa, that’s a unnecessary crack at Bono. He’s not bi-sexual. He’s just a piece of shit. He’ll always be number 2.

“Law & Order” rips its stories from the headlines. But have they got to rip them from the bottom of the barrel? Hasn’t Spidey suffered enough? Now Charlie Sheen on the other hand…

CI is also doing an episode featuring a Charlie Sheen-type character played by Jay Mohr from Gary Unmarried. His character Nyle Brite, his known as a “lovable rogue” who has a reputation for cocaine use, parties, and women. In the episode will focus on a murder of a guest at Brite’s home.

In other words, this episode is #WINNING

No word yet on whether or not this will be the popular series final season.

source: Deadline

Charlie Sheen’s Magic Crushes Your D&D Dreams

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“Damn NB, two Sheen posts in one day? Just leave the man alone!” NEVER!

Boston’s Improv Asylum has melded the magic of Charlie Sheen into the world of Dungeons and Dragons. Can anyone survive?

This is great stuff. I’m totally gonna channel the crazy essence of Charlie Sheen at my next D&D encounter. I’ll bring plenty of beer and cookies to offset the anger I’ll be sure to create. Seriously, if anyone pulled this kind of stuff in a gaming session, the gaming group would most likely tar and feather that player

deadpoolsheen

So last week Axel Alonso, the Editor and Chief at Marvel comics tweeted:

Show of hands for DEADPOOL/CHARLIE SHEEN TEAM-UP…?

So the gang over at The Independants manned up and cranked it out. Writer Ben Christian and artist Cory Smith captured the Sheen “Nuttiness” that is the Charlie Sheen protein bar of life:

http://www.bleedingcool.com/wp-content/uploads//2011/03/194881_156521897737852_100001401295556_343342_6384198_o.jpg

In other news. Charlie Sheen was officially fired Monday from “Two and a Half Men” by Warner Bros, after “careful consideration” and was effective immediately, the studio said in a statement. No decision has been made on the shows future without its star, Warner spokesman Paul McGuire said.

Sheen, who has used TV, radio and social media (Web Cam) to create a big megaphone for himself, wasn’t quiet for long. In a text to The Associated Press, he responded with the F-word and, “They lose,” followed by the word “Trolls.” Asked if he planned to sue, Sheen texted back, “Big.” As for his next move, Sheen texted, “A big one.”

I’m not worried though, Charlie will be on Dancing with the stars in a couple of years. It will be his second big comeback, the guy is indestructible after all.