“They call it the Death Star” the trailer begins in the breathy, intense tones of Jyn Erso, played by Felicity jones. So these are the stakes: men in dark costumes are pressing glowing buttons and there’s a great deal of dust and lasers. We’re watching the new Teaser for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, the first standalone film from the Star Wars universe which tells the tale of how the plans for the Death Star first fell into the hands of the rebellion. The last teaser was jam-packed with action, this time around we’re getting a bit of heart as well. (more…)
Easily amongst the best movie villains of all time, if not *the* best, Darth Vader made a mark on cinema that goes far beyond his role as the heavy in the original Star Wars trilogy. Of course for fans, the badassness of Vader lost some points with the pathetic “No!” in Revenge of the Sith, but even George Lucas‘ own Brittaing of his franchise couldn’t ruin the awesome vide we all got of seeing Vader stand with the Emperor in front of the under-construction Death Star at the end of Sith, or his arrival as the big bad in the new season of the animated Star Wars: Rebels. But don’t call it a comeback, even if it looks like one, because sources now say that Vader will be putting an appearance in the first Star Wars Anthology flick, Rogue One. (more…)
One of the most intriguing developments coming out of Star Wars and Lucasfilm‘s acquisition by Walt Disney Studios is that we’re not just getting a new trilogy, we’re going to be getting a new movie every year. At least that’s Disney’s desire anyway. Shortly after production got underway on The Force Awakens, the first chapter of the new trilogy, Disney started recruiting talent for the first of a series of films to take place in the Star Wars universe, but is not a part of the Skywalker saga. For the first of these films we know the director (Godzilla‘s Gareth Edwards), we know the star (Academy Award nominee Felicity Jones), and we know the name (Rogue One). But now, most importantly, we know what it’s going to be about… (more…)
Next year after the release of J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars: The Force Awakens, we will have more of an idea of where the franchise is going with Rian Johnson’s (The Brothers Bloom, Looper) Star Wars: Episode VIII and Episode IX going into pre-production . However, the films that will remain fairly elusive are the planned spin-offs, which will be released in between the J.J. Abrams and Rian Johnson’s films. There are three projects – two which will be directed by Gareth Edwards, and one by Josh Trank – that could be potentially set at any point in the Star Wars timeline and could follow many different directions and branch out into an infinite number of stories. A rumor that has been running rampant the last couple of years, has been the speculation that one of the spin-offs could center on a Han Solo adventure, and the rumor has just been given a boost following a report that it is, in fact, true. (more…)
Nerdy Bits: Sexualized Male Superhero Costumes, Death Star Weed Grinders, Live Action Duck Hunt, & MOAR!!!
Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut. Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
ABOVE: If male super hero costumes were designed like the female superhero costumes. Oh yeah . . . he is the night. With great power comes great . . . [Uproxx]
We’re gonna keep our views on the numerous 9/11 conspiracy theories to ourselves….But you gotta admit, when those same theories are applied to the destruction of the first Death Star, as Graham Putnam does in Luke’s Change: An Inside Job (a parody of the 9/11 conspiracy documentary: Loose Change), and when the event is looked at from the perspective of an Imperial citizen (who apparently has access to a LOT of classified information), the whole thing DOES start to look kinda sketchy: A one-man fighter takes out a space station the size of a moon with a single shot, and the pilot just happens to be the son of that station’s commander, who just happens to be the only survivor of the station’s destruction?
It’s food for some very nerdy thought, but I have to admit, I was disappointed by several glaring mistakes you’d think anyone who’s a big enough SW fan to make a vid like this would avoid: Alderaan is mispronounced repeatedly, as is Corellian…Leia didn’t add Solo to her last name until she married Han (an EU storyline), Anakin built Threepio, but not Artoo….and, most annoying of all: the thermal exhaust port on the first Death Star was two METERS wide, not two feet.
I will grant that it’s possible these mistakes were made purposely for nerds like us to nitpick (just as I’m sure the average 9/11 conspiracy theory has more than a few factual errors), but I’ve personally never liked the “I’m Gonna Sound Like An Idiot To Make YOU Look Like A Bigger Idiot” school of comedy.
Anyway, here’s the vid: Watch it, and draw your own conclusions.
By now you’re surely familiar with the biggest and nerdiest human interest story of the year: The petition that asked the United States government to begin work on our very own Death Star:
Those who sign here petition the United States government to secure funding and resources, and begin construction on a Death Star by 2016.
By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense.
And the official response that made us all proud to be geeks–to wit:
The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:
The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?
Those were the words of Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget…and no certified Star Wars nerd could have phrased it more eloquently (pause to hum “The Star Spangled Banner”–or “The Imperial March”, depending on your tastes)
There hasn’t been a more profound official response to the actions of geeks since the Jedi Church was officially recognized by the British Commonwealth in 2001.
Anyway, since the government isn’t helping, a Kickstarter campaign called the “Open Source Death Star” was begun to raise the necessary funds (£20,000,000–and that’s just for the plans!).
Which caused some concerned citizens with Rebel sympathies to start their own Kickstarter: The goal of the so-called “Rebel Alliance X-Wing Squadron” is to raise the comparably reasonable sum of $11 million to design and build a single X-Wing fighter (’cause, as the films proved: one is all you need) and train a pilot to fly it.
The campaign’s Stretch Goals will make you feel like stealing your own lunch money if you understand them:
Stretch Goal 1:
$4,485,672,683: That’s the world-wide box office total for all of the films (+ The Clone Wars). We figure we can build up an X-Wing squadron for that. We’ll be taking applications for Rebel fighter pilots after we reach our Stretch Goal.
Stretch Goal 2:
13 million Galactic Standard Credits: A Class YT-1300 Freighter (heavily modified) and a crew consisting of a Corellian smuggler and a Wookie co-pilot.
Stretch Goal 3:
One of our Backers / Rebel Comrades wisely suggested adding another stretch goal to include a prototype Y-Wing Bomber. So, if we reach $23,000,000, which is reportedly the production cost of the Empire Strikes Back, we’ll also build a prototype BTL-B Y-Wing heavy starfighter / bomber to help clear the path for the X-Wing to do its thing.
Is it bad that I’m judging this entire campaign based on the fact that they misspelled “Wookiee”?
(PS: Don’t worry, neither campaign is really serious–it’s just some clever fans having a little fun)
The Galactic Empire has responded to the news that the White House denied a petition requesting the construction of a Death Star. Galactic spokesperson Governor Wilhuff Tarkin (Pictured below) quickly took to the Galactic Communications System to reiterate the Galactic Empire’s overwhelming firepower and dismiss any erroneous thoughts of weakness in the Death Star’s design and construction.
IMPERIAL CENTER, CORUSCANT
The overwhelming military superiority of the Galactic Empire has been confirmed once again by the recent announcementby the President of the United States that his nation would not attempt to build a Death Star, despite the bellicose demands of the people of his tiny, aggressive planet. “It is doubtless that such a technological terror in the hands of so primitive a world would be used to upset the peace and sanctity of the citizens of the Galactic Empire,“ said Governor Wilhuff Tarkin of the Outer Rim Territories. “Such destructive power can only be wielded to protect and defend by so enlightened a leader as Emperor Palpatine.”
Representatives on behalf of the nation-state leader from the unimaginatively named planet refused to acknowledge the obvious cowardice of their choice, preferring instead to attribute the decision to fiscal responsibility. “The costs of construction they cited were ridiculously overestimated, though I suppose we must keep in mind that this miniscule planet does not have our massive means of production,” added Admiral Conan Motti of the Imperial Starfleet.
Emissaries of the Emperor also caution any seditious elements within the Galactic Senate not to believe Earth’s exaggerated claims of there being a weakness in the Death Star design. “Any attacks made upon such a station — should one ever be built — would be a useless gesture,” added Motti.
The White House has responded to the petition to construct a Death Star. This Administration promised to investigate and answer any petition to the White House that gathers 25.000 signatures. The Death Star petition gathered over 35,000. You can check out the entire response below, but here are some of the highlights:
- The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
- The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
- Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?
The response, cleverly titled This Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For, goes on to trumpet what current space projects are occurring during this Administration and encouraging those interested to pursue a career in science and technology.
This is great stuff. The humor is fantastic and shows a level of understanding that is heartening for nerds everywhere. What do you think?
Via: The MarySue
Back in the 1980s, U.S. President Ronald Reagan initiated a missile defense program and called it “Star Wars” because, you know, you doesn’t love Star Wars even if you’re using it as a thinly veiled reference to America’s safeguard against total nuclear war.
Of course, Reagan lived life, including his presidency, like he was starring in a movie; he told the Soviets to “go ahead, make my day,” and he once told Steven Spielberg that he’d be surprised about how accurate the story behind E.T. is. But hey, that was the 80s! We’ve got real problems to solve, so who in their right mind would petition the government to build something like big and pointless from a movie because if they get enough signatures, the government will have to take it seriously.
Well, his name is John D, and he started a petition on the We the People section of the White House’s website. The point of the section is to increase engagement between people and the government by getting President Barack Obama and his staff to pay attention to the issues that are important to them. And what John D thinks is important is building a Death Star.
“By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense,” writes John D on his petition.
While some of that actually makes sense on the surface, isn’t there going to exorbitant costs of manning and maintaining a Death Star over the long term? Didn’t that thing have like 50,000 officers and men stationed there? Actually, that was the detail I couldn’t find about the Death Star on Wookiepedia.
Anyway, the petition currently has 20,000 signatures. If it gets 25,000 by this Friday, the White House will have to take it under serious consideration. John D’s goal is to “secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016.” Maybe if he can’t get Congressional approval he can find some private funding, some guys are trying to get rich folks to pay $1.5 billion a piece for a ticket to the moon.
Source: The Mary Sue