Now, I’m a 23 year old man and have done some stupid things in my life, such as buying 30 double cheeseburgers at McDonalds and climbing on things that I know can’t hold my fat ass which lead to me landing on said fat ass, but one South Carolina man may have taken the award for dumbass of 2010.
What did this man do you ask? Well, he decided to play the game of Frogger in real-life. How do you play it in real-life you ask? Why it’s simple really, all you have to do is find a really busy street in your neighborhood and try to get across it by running and dodging cars, which is something this young man didn’t do well as he got hit by an SUV.
As of Monday night, the 23 year old man, whose name has not been release since I’m sure his parents are proud of the son that they have raised, was in stable condition. I guess we could all say that the man luck out that he had an extra life on him.
Right, so a few weeks ago, there was the whole deal with George Lucas wanting to sue and then deciding not to sue a company that made lightsaberesque laser-dealies. That was nice, because it wasn’t like they were going out of their way to use the Star Wars name in their marketing and whatnot.
This week, though, oy.
LucasFilm has filed a $5 trademark suit against a company that, in the dumbest Star Wars-related idea since midichlorians, calls itself–wait, wait for it–Jedi Mind, Inc. Said company, which has NO affiliation with LucasFilm, sells a headband that purports to read your brainwaves to control videogames or computer applications.
My first thought was, “Oh, so it’s about as useful as the Atari Mindlink, but has brass balls big enough to even think of using the name Jedi for the product.”
It’s not like a company that makes metric shitloads of money based on TRADEMARKED merchandise is likely to turn a blind eye to this sort of thing. I mean, why not just call it, “Hey, Neckbeard, I Dare You To Sue Me! Neener-Neener-Neener”?
A married woman from Livermore, California, is accused of doing the old “Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start” with two underage teen boys. Christine Shreeve Hubbs faces (count ’em) 67 counts of sexual assault. One presumes the authorities didn’t add two more because that would be tacky.
Hubbs' booking photo
Instead of a sketchy van and promises of candy, she reportedly went the more modern route and gave the two teens game consoles, money and other presents, including sex. She is alleged to have had the relationships for two years, which means (to increase the ick factor) that this started when the kids were 13.
Not for nothing, but do you really need to bribe a 13-year-old boy to get laid?
The police were alerted to the situation after the mother of one of the boys found nekkid pictures on the kid’s cell phone. Additional pictures of Hubbs having sex with both boys were also found.
Hubbs, a mother of three, is being held on a $4.3 million bond.
That probably equates to a few bucks per “OMGWTFBBQ?” reaction people have when they hear about this. Seriously, what the hell, people?
I know that people bitch about stereotypes, but honestly most of them exist because there is some sort of fact to back it up. Fact- Most Nerds still have their V cards, Why? Because we’re all weird and awkward. This is my advice to you my fellow Nerds who have yet to use your artifact-creature.. if you get a girl to agree to not only let you see her naked, but to use her as a human sheath DO NOT I repeat DO FUCKING NOT pull out video game moves mid coitus. For the love of your penis don’t do it. You might be saying to yourself “Well it looks so cool when (insert character) does it! I’ve mastered it in the game! This seems like a perfect idea!” No it doesn’t you know why? Because THIS is what it looks like in REAL life.
WARNING: This video NSFW!!!!! (not safe for work).
You poor fucking bastard, you should have just stuck your dick in the hole and shut the fuck up.