guess who

“You sank my battleship… with your alien death ray!”

Yeah, I don’t quite remember it that way either, but in their infinite wisdom Universal Studios and Hasbro decided to make a Battleship movie with massive aliens that rise up from the sea. In the spirit of that “creative” leap, I and my co-conspiritor Jason Tabrys wrote the synopses, the tag-lines, the titles, and even cast these four “creative” movie and board game mashups that Hollywood needs to greenlight right now. Hell, Jeremy R! Hudson and Jason (but mostly him) even made up some fantastic posters for the films too, so all we need is a few hundred million dollars and we can make the best board game movie spin-off since Clue (you heard me).

Monopoly: Revenge of the Fallen

Synopsis: Max Marther (actor and comic book artist Shia LaBeouf) is an Occupy protester and an up and coming blogger for an underground activism website. His life is thrown through a loop though, when a major corporation buys the site and turns it into a LOLCat content farm, forcing Marther to embed himself in the world of finance, quickly climbing up the corporate ladder because of his unfathomable whiteness and his unearned swagger.

Soon, Marther can see the whole board and becomes a land baron with a pocketful of “Get out of Jail Free” cards and a plan to run the bank and drive all the other players toward bankruptcy. Will his plan succeed, or will he be seduced by the 1 percenter lifestyle, a high class call girl named Community Chest (introducing Random Lingerie Model in a breakthrough performance) with a secret, and Arthur Michael Manchester (Nic Cage), the current banker and a rogue utility company owner with troubling hair who inherited both Boardwalk and Park Place under curious circumstances from his late brother, Nathan (also Nic Cage)?

Coming in 2013, the money never sleeps and the game never ends in Monopoly: Revenge of the Fallen. (more…)

mattoleary(‘Guess Who Monday’ is a weekly feature here at nerdbastards, where we challenge you to take a look at the latest, grown up, former child star and see if you can guess who they use to be. )

Wow! Take a look at this weeks ‘Guess Who’. It’s been 9 years since this ex-child actors big movie, and it looks like his balls still haven’t dropped. Barely growing into man hood, we felt this ‘Guess Who’ might be too easy. However, like all our candidates he’s filled out just enough and done so little with his career that his identity should remain a mystery to you.

If any of you can get this, I will do a back flip. It will impress that hell out of me! So, who was he?? Here’s a hint: “I Spy with my little eye something Frailty“.

HIT THE JUMP FOR THE REVEAL

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Emma-Ridley-Desert-202x300

(‘Guess Who Monday’ is a weekly feature here at nerdbastards, where we challenge you to take a look at the lastest, grown up, former child star and see if you can guess who they use to be. )

Look at that ass!!  But-Ter-Face?! This busty blond was certainly someone! But that was a long time ago. Here’s here’s a hint. She appeared in a early Faruza Balk film (The Craft). A sequel to one of the biggest movies of all time.

CLICK AFTER THE JUMP “And we’re off to see….” (that was a dead giveaway)

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mischa-barton-main1-219x300

(Guess Who Monday is a weekly feature here at nerdbastards where we challenge you to guess the latest known or lesser known child star of nerd pop culture from the days of yore (70’s, 80’s, 90’s), who have all grown up. Let’s see if you can figure out today’s ‘Guess Who’. )

Most of you know who Mischa Barton is now, but do you know who she was? I just made this discovery and I’m pretty shocked.  Who is this little girl who gave us thrills and chills in one of the spookiest parts of an M. Night Shyamalan film?  Click after the jump to find out!

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NoahHathaway04

(Guess Who Friday is a weekly feature here at nerdbastards where we challenge you to guess the latest known or lesser known child star of nerd pop culture from the days of yore (70’s, 80’s, 90’s), who have all grown up. Lets take a gentleman’s bet and see if you can figure out today’s ‘Guess Who’. Warning: we are not responsible for any shocked, appalled or arousing feelings which may incur.)

Who is this douche bag…Or Bag O’Douche as Dane Cook would say? (I just wanted to say Bag O douche) This guy seems to have not allowed his shining child star be his demise.  GUUUUUUUEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS WHO HE WAS!!!???  Here is a piece of trivia to help you on the journey…He Played Harry Potter in 1986. Now theres a puzzle for ya. Why on earth would this, now 39 year old, play Harry Potter!!?? Find out why, after the jump!! (more…)

rossbagley‘Guess Who Monday’ is a weekly feature here at Nerdbastards where we challenge you to guess the latest known or lesser known child star of nerd pop culture from the days of yore (70’s, 80’s, 90’s), who have all grown up.

This child actor got his start by smartly riding on Will Smith’s coat tails.  Clever move on his part, but I have to say he hasn’t done too much in the world of acting since.  Any ideas?  I can give you a hint.  He was in a summer blockbuster film from 1996.  Still nothing?  All right, after the jump then… you’ll have to try harder next week.

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Guess Who….

You will never guess this weeks installment of Guess Who..Our former child star has been against the ropes as of late in an apparent turn to topless boxing(I did NO research, these are assumptions) as a form of income. Hard times happen to most if not 99% of children actors.See what film she was in after the jump (more…)

Guess Who..

erni

Who is this angry little Asian man???? For one thing, he isn’t really in prison, he’s an actor. So the real question here is, who WAS this angry little Asian man?? He used to be quite jubilant!! (more…)