Hookers

 

gtav

We don’t know about you, but there is nothing we love to do in our downtime more than run drugs, race cars, spend time with ladies of the evening and then immediately run them down with our vehicle for a refund. Since none of these things are legal Rockstar has set a release date for GTA V just in time to curb our lust for mayhem…you know before it becomes a real problem.

 Rockstar Games announced today that Grand Theft Auto V is expected to launch worldwide for the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 on September 17, 2013. As if you needed a description of the game you animal, here it is just in case.

Los Santos: a sprawling sun-soaked metropolis full of self-help gurus, starlets and fading celebrities, once the envy of the Western world, now struggling to stay afloat in an era of economic uncertainty and cheap reality TV. Amidst the turmoil, three very different criminals plot their own chances of survival and success: Franklin, a former street gangster, now looking for real opportunities and serious money; Michael, a professional ex-con whose retirement is a lot less rosy than he hoped it would be; and Trevor, a violent maniac driven by the chance of a cheap high and the next big score. Running out of options, the crew risks everything in a series of daring and dangerous heists that could set them up for life.

While sadly this pushes the release date back a bit from the projected and vague “Spring 2013” it seems that it will allow for even better game play. As you will now play as three main characters getting to see the story from every perspective.

Sam Houser, Founder of Rockstar Games has this to say;

‘Grand Theft Auto V’ continues to push the series forward in new ways; Rockstar North are creating our deepest, most beautiful and most immersive world yet. We are very excited for people to learn more about the game in the coming months.

While it sounds amazing we know that you will undoubtedly spend most of your time mowing down hookers for sport. Or is that just us?

Source: ComingSoon

What do you remember from the original 1990 Total Recall? Schwarzennegger ripping out a tracking device through his nose with a futuristic mechanical dildo contraption, some goatsie tummy lookin’ alien named Kuato shouting “start the reactor Quaid” *garggle* and above all else… a three boobed hooker, right? Shiiiiiiiiit, everyone remembers tri-boob. I mean for gods sake, if you saw a chick with three tits are you not gonna remember it? It’s the ideal male fantasy. Two hands, face. Side note: It’s actually been a life long fantasy of mine to meet a real life girl with a 3 gerber server deformity. The closet I came was a stripper in Canada with a third nipple, which very well could have been unfortunate placed pepperoni. I’m not sure.

Anyway….

Will the upcoming Total Recall remake by Les Wiseman have a chick with three breasts? Short answer. YES!

Frosty from Collider spent  22 minutes chatting Wiseman at this years San Diego Comic Con. Around the 5:37 mark he gets into the Total Recall stuff, after he discusses his hot wife in Underworld, and he tip toes around tri-tits:

Frosty: “Are there any Easter eggs for the original movie as a nod?”
Len Wiseman: “For sure. And what I did was, after I read the script, I wrote a list out of the things I remembered from Total Recall when I was 15, before I went and watched Total Recall again to see what actually stuck with me.”

Dude, mofo is obviously referring to a three-breasted woman. Again, who doesn’t remember a something like that? Unless maybe he’s gay. He isn’t. He’s constantly reminding how he repeatedly sticks his penis in Kate Beckinsale’s cooter. Asshole (that too).But there’s a problem with this great news – Wiseman’s Recall is PG-13. What the hell kind of triple boobage are we going to see in a PG-13 joint?