Howard Stern Show

Artie Lange Attempts Suicide…

Artie Lange,Howard Stern

I didn’t think it would happen this way. And I am very sad. All you fuck head out there who’ll go WHAAAAA!!!!! Need to have some compassion. I heard his mother was enroute to his home when she found him. Most people try to commit suicide when they know they will be found…But that is usually an overdose, or narcotics…You dont stab yourself 9 times and hope to be saved. I will report more on this later. Via Superficial

Comedian Artie Lange was hospitalized over the weekend and his reps have now confirmed it was a suicide attempt involving several stab wounds. Page Six reports:

Lange’s frantic mom called 911 Saturday morning after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found the bloodied funnyman, a law-enforcement source said. Lange sustained six “hesitation wounds” and three deep plunges. A source close to Lange’s management team confirmed that the Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mother had come to visit him that day to drop off food. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding.
“We all have our demons,” Stern said on-air this week, referring to Lange’s past battles with addiction.

 

Today on the Howard Stern Show, Fake Arnold called in:

Fake Arnold Schwarzenegger called in to say he was sorry to hear about the death of Howard’s aunt – referencing his father-in-law’s own death: “We lost our dear Teddy, of course. Finally.” Howard asked after California’s struggling economy, so Fake Arnold explained that Californian’s were “a bunch of pussies” and “expendables.” Fake Arnold then introduced a few songs by his new band, Austrian Death Machine.

His impersonation is dead on. The video is dumb and the singer is too hard even for my taste. But the, ” Get to the Choppa!” is a line used in Predaor. He is a very talented impressionist, and has managed to make a living out of it, which is a really brilliant take on the angle.

(PS, don’t watch the whole video, the chorus is the only amazing part)

Talk about eye candy. This was on the news today and if I’m correct my sources are either insane, or brilliant:

A team of specialists at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine announced Wednesday that they are the first surgeons in the United States to restore a person’s sight by using a tooth. The procedure is formally called modified osteo-odonto-keratoprosthesis (or MOOKP).

Sharron “Kay” Thornton, 60, went blind nine years ago from a rare disorder called Stevens-Johnson syndrome. The disorder left the surface of her eyes so severely scarred she was legally blind. But doctors determined the inside of her eyes were still functional enough that she might one day see with the help of MOOKB.

They think that soon they can cure, balls out blindness, and thats pretty insane. Apparently from what I hear they take a tooth and drill straight through it, then apply a repaired or prosthetic lens to it. They say that a tooth from the host is less likely to be rejected than donated eyes.

Fucked up, huh? In a good way.

ALERT! NOT SPORTS RELATED- Unreal Speech!

This is NOT DOCTORED!! First off Bastards this isn’t about football, so calm down. 3 different times this Buffalo Bill player stutters like broken record. Howard Stern played it this week, and I did some research, this is legitimate brain damage or a nervous tic. It is incredible, almost unbelievable. Check it out, sadly hilarious that the jocks have problems too.