lyrics

Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut.

Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at nerdybits@nerdbastards.com.

 

Above: The Hobbit trailer gets the sweded treatment. It’s a spot on parody. You’ll love the little changes in the presentation of the dwarves and their somber sing-a-long. The execution of this swede is top notch. (The Mary Sue)

 

If you’re in the need for some laugh out loud funny then please watch this compilation of gaming fails from 2011. Collected here with witty commentary are a series of epic failures in gaming, whether they be user error or some seriously freaky bugs. Complete dickery in HALO, yup it’s there. Creepy mutated soldiers from Battlefield. Yup. (Nerd Approved)

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brentalflossNB

To all you silly boobs and fuckin noobs out there that suck at Mega Man 3 (and at life) our friend, the gaming maestro himself brentalfloss has a very special song for you. Technically he’s making fun of the game, ’cause it dickishly plays a cheery tune when you die to make fun of you, but personally it’s a brilliant motivational tool for anyone trying to beat ANY difficult game, really. Hell, I’d sure as hell want to get better if every time I got a ‘game over’ someone sang this to me.

Mega Man or no Mega Man  this song is the greatest verbal smackdown. Best series of insults you’ll ever hear, and a catchy tune no less. Plus, Floss in a supersexy top hat. It’s fucking ‘Game Over’ man.

roddenberry

I guess this makes me extra nerdy that I already knew this, but over at Blastr, they’re educating the rest of the masses about the lyrics to the theme song for Star Trek (TOS). The classic theme was composed by Alexander Courage (who many years later would fulfill musical duties for the ill-fated Superman IV), and since they used the song in each episode, he’d get a decent chunk of change. As Blastr points out, this is even ignoring Trek’s eventual cult-classic status. The show did run for three seasons.

Ah, but Courage had a handshake agreement with Trek creator Gene Roddenberry in which Gene had the option to pen lyrics to the song; in that event, the two would split the royalties. So after the show’s first year, that’s exactly what happened. But not because The Great Bird of the Galaxy had found the perfect words that embodied the memorable memory. As alleged in the book Inside Star Trek: The Real Story, Trek producers Herb Solow and Robert Justman, Roddenberry did it to make some extra money.

It seems a bit sketchy, but Star Trek wasn’t then even close to the phenomenon it is today (or more accurately, 10 or 15 years ago when it was a cash cow for Paramount), and it’s not unlikely that at least some of that money helped keep the series afloat in one way or another even if indirectly. It really depends whom you ask.

Regardless, Courage didn’t score any other Trek episodes as a result of this.

So you’re probably wondering, “so what are the lyrics? Do they suck?” Read (and most likely weep):

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final_fantasy_1_nes_usaFinal Fantasy holds a special place in most RPG gamer’s hearts, it may not be a nice place but it is there.  That game along with its lesser known pal Dragon Quest opened the door for some of the greatest stories told in video game history.  We’ve all thought about what lyrics could be put to this at one point or another, or maybe that’s just me,  but now it has been done, and done well.  Thanks goes to Kotahu.com for finding this.

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What If: Dr. Mario Had Lyrics???

If you want a real good laugh watch this video concocted by brentalfloss and Parker Simmons…and I will bet, you will probably watch it more then once. I know I did only because it is f*ckin hilarious!!! Good ol’ Dr. Mario is here to cure you, and in more then one way! Not only will he fondle your balls, like he did for Wario, he will also pull crabs out of your girlfriends’ cooch, like he did for Princess. And if you notice, Dr. Mario plays the b*tch in the Mario-Wario relationship; after all, he does have a tramp stamp. He hands out “pills for all your ills,” and good thing too because those shrooms weren’t doing a god damned thing to help me! Poor Kirby has meningitis and Link has hepatitis. But the real winner here is Bowser with HPV. Why you ask? HPV in men is more likely to cause penile or anal cancer, or warts. Poor Bowser…..

Thanks to geekologie for this gem!