Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut. Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
ABOVE: That’s right, our President’s a Trekkie. Either that or this photo was taken at a secret White House meeting with the very first Vulcan ambassadors. And then of course, Obama calls in his top extra-terrestrial expert, Nichelle Nichols. (Laughing Squid)
By now you’ve seen the dreaded Nyan Cat, the latest in annoying Memes sweeping the Internet. A weird blend of a cat, pop-tart and Japanese pop. Nobody is immune to it’s level of annoyance, not even Captain James T. Kirk. Watch as the Captain and his merry lovers crew match wits with Nyan in a highly illogical encounter. Just another video of Kirk beating some poor pussy(cat), Roddenberry would be so proud.
Every week the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut.
Every Monday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at email@example.com.
This week’s edition: Samuel L. Jackson reads a fucking bedtime story, even worse super hero designs, Doctor Grover, Pokeboobs!, amazing retro Cowboys & Aliens poster, Star Wars animated neon signs, custom made Zelda chess set, David Tennant & Catherine Tate get “bovvered”, Infographic: Every 3D Movie Ever Made, live-action Angry Birds, Vader gets a rubdown then walks hit AT-AT, John Cleese learns to calm his road rage, Super Mario Bros stash boxes, Mario hydrant, Indiana Jones plushie, Kermit the Frog is Mal Reynolds and Hal Jordan, real life Pokemon, pee to your next high score, a Jurassic Park love hotel, awesome Doctor Who and Millenium Falcon cakes, a meme-tastic drink menu, Diagram of Geek Culture, Jaws meets Ariel bathing suit, Toy Story Unleashed, Dalek squirrels, the 8-bit world invades, Winterfell Direwolves win the championship, rent Oracle’s clocktower, is it 4:20 yet?
Samuel L. Jackson reading “Go the Fuck to Sleep.” I really don’t need to tell you anything else. It’s precious, charming and fucking hilarious. (CollegeHumor)
A few days ago we posted an image that ignited some nerd rage because it featured the guy from Firefly with a Star Trek quote mis-attributed to Han Solo (Only wrong on one level, the Star Trek part, because we all know Captain Mal is Han Solo..). Unbeknownts to us (until now) the misquoting, misidentify of these pop culture idols was just the beginning of the nets newest form of image meme. “Trollquotes”, as they are called piss off anyone and everyone by intentionally getting the specifics of fandom all wrong.
Here’s how Trollquotes work (as articulated perfectly from our friends at urlesque):
1) Get a picture of someone people idolize. Obi Wan Kenobi, Barack Obama, Captain Kirk — any beloved public figure will do.
2) Slap on a famous quotation from a similar character from a different book or movie. Pick something close enough that a non-fan might legitimately confuse them. If you’re using Captain Picard from Star Trek: The Next Generation, for example, you’ll probably want to grab a quote from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Babylon 5 or Battlestar Galactica.
3) Attribute the quotation to a third character, from yet a third universe. This way, nothing about your image is correct, and you’re trolling fans of all three characters at once. Here’s an example of a successful Trollquote: a picture of Gandalf from Lord of the Rings with a quote from Star Wars’ Yoda, misattributed to Harry Potter‘s Dumbledore. Anyone who knows anything about these fictional universes will immediately go, “YOU GOT YOUR WIZARDS ALL WRONG AARRRRRGHH STUPID.”
It’s really just a step-by-step, 1-2-3, easy process on evoking nerd rage. Make one up, put it on a t-shirt and watch the hilarity ensue.
Actually, if any of you bastards out there are crafty with the ole’ Photoshop and want to try your hand at “trollquotes” we’d like to see your work (Email our Senior Editor Luke Gallagher – lukeg37atgmail.com). If we get enough subs like -I dunno- more than one will feature on the site. There is nothing more gratifying than pissing off your own kind. Go my bastards. Go and evoke the anger of your fellow nerds. DO IT NOW!
Chances are you already know who Tron Guy is (100 nerd demerits if you don’t) , but in case you haven’t heard of him, his real name is Jay Maynard, a computer programmer who considers himself the biggest fan, and promoter of the original Tron. He’s such a fan of the 1982 movie that he built his own electroluminescent (wow, that’s a big word I wish I never have to use again) costume out of a spandex suit and plastic pieces of armor. Suffice to say his rotund belly, glasses, and EPIC mustache caused him to become a subject of ridicule and praise across the Internets and mainstream media, turning himself into one of the most recognized meme of all time.
Naturally, Jay Maynard got to see Tron: Legacy before the rest of us. And it nearly brought tears to his eyes. In our first movie review by a meme he wrote the following in Wired:
“I’ve been waiting 28 years to see if the other shoe would ever drop on the Tron universe. It has, and the result is visually stunning, intellectually engaging and emotionally exhausting. …
It’s a logical continuation of the original, although you need not have seen Tron to understand what’s happening now. Strong performances by Jeff Bridges, Garrett Hedlund, Olivia Wilde and Michael Sheen should prevent the kind of complaints about wooden acting that surrounded the original movie. The result delivers an unexpected emotional impact, especially at the ending.
Perhaps the emotional ending influenced my final reaction. As the credits rolled, I had to fight off tears. … I walked out of the theater to my cold truck, determined to not let my feelings show. Nobody there would have understood.”
“Nobody there would have understood” I think I speak for everyone when I say: We would have understood Tron Guy… we would have understood.
Tron Guy liked the new tron movie? I’m kinda surprised by this. Rabid fans like Tron Guy are often the hardest to please when it comes to nostalgic genre films like this. If Tron guy approves then we are poised for a pure win.