MIB3

It took mere seconds for the nervous sweats to set in. The stale stench of popcorn mixed with the aroma of shattered hopes, and what I hope is not stale urine. Like walking into the middle of someone elses break up, I instantly knew I shouldn’t be there; there was no way this was going to end well. Why had I thought this was a good idea?! Why had anyone thought this would be a good idea?

Will Smith hasn’t released a film in 3 years, leaving the Earth unprotected for three consecutive summers. His presence in summer blockbusters has been a comfortingly reliable standby, like knowing your grandmother will give you socks for Christmas: not the coolest thing ever, but it gets the job done. Upon hearing the news of Smith’s return to alien slaughtering in Men in Black 3, I became giddy with excitement. There was no logic in this sudden burst of excitement. It was purely guttural, rising from a place of clandestine immaturity and under-developed nerdery. I did not realize it at the time, but I’d been conditioned, from a young age, to associate Will Smith with unbridled fun. Undoing this conditioning, as it turns out, requires one viewing of MiB3 followed by 2 glasses of wine, 3 episodes of Community, and a good, long cry (actual duration of crying may vary from person to person).

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…And Josh Brolin is all Tommy Lee Jonesy. Don’t get me wrong, Men in Black 3 does look like it’ll be a fun movie (even with the South Park finger-cuff mobiles). It has wacky aliens and shiny guns and a very MIB plot:

Veteran MIB field agent Agent J learns that Agent K’s life and the fate of Earth are at stake. He must time-travel to 1969 to stop an alien criminal named Boris from assassinating K and changing the course of history of the planet, travelling back from the future to 1969 to team up with the young version of Agent K (Josh Brolin) to stop the alien criminal, while apparently also facing a twenty four hour time limit before he will be trapped in the past forever.

What more could you ask for? Besides for the absence of a Will Smith song on the soundtrack, you know he’s gonna.

Check out the latest TV spot after the jump.

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