Nic Cage

Nicolas Cage Slept WHERE?


Anytime the name “Nic Cage” is mentioned, there is sure to be some awesomeness to follow.  The man has made a career of being…not crazed, per se, but definitely quirky.  As a matter of fact, no one even bats an eye these days when the newest Cage story surfaces.  That is, until something so absolutely crazy, so out of the ordinary, so damn NIC CAGE that it just has to be shared and spread as widely and quickly as possible.  Well, faithful Nerd Bastard readers, we have just such a story for you.  Actually, this one was so good that we decided to go back and take a look at a few of Cage’s crazier moments, both on and off the screen. (more…)


He is our greatest over-actor, and yet for years I thumbed my nose at Nicolas Cage, damning him for his inability to re-create the brilliance that he has exhibited a handful of times thanks to superior material, divine intervention, or Faustian barter/trading.

Thankfully, I have evolved and realized that Cage is a vapor that cannot be contained by convention or weighed down by the expectations of others. He is not for us, but for future generations that will be choked numb by an avalanche of technology and distance. For them, Nicolas Cage films will be a road map back to the abundant emotions that only the ghosts whisper about.

For them, he will be a truth, not an oddity. So, with that in mind, I have embraced the embrace of the Cage and his electric howl.

Do you doubt my song and my near-religious conversion?

Do you not realize that Nic Cage has rumbled with fish, raced and then struck the moon, had a honeymoon and then died in Las Vegas before breaking into Alcatraz? Do you not recognize that he cut his fucking face off, brought out the dead, talked to the wind, saved the Declaration of Independence, fought off bees, lit his skull on fire, got dangerous in Bangkok, and then drove angry while seeking justice?

Cage Vamp

Cage is a dinosaur skull owning vampire and a thunder God who lives in a German castle, plays the mandolin, and fucked Elvis’ daughter after he fucked the woman who would one day become The Punisher’s psychic wife. How about you?

Cage was too much man to be Krypton’s last son and as the adage goes, his hair has more range than most other actors. Can you telekinetically make your hairline dance? Didn’t think so.

His madness is method, his eyes are wide, wild, and white and his warrior cry can castrate a bear from three miles out.

In an age when Liam Neeson is the accepted definition of cinematic toughness because he trained Batman and punched a wolf, Nic Cage merely laughs inappropriately, trains a pint sized vigilante and then eye-fucks a unicorn while riding a dragon bareback and some of these things are exaggerations!

Cage octopus

Hell yeah, he owned an octopus once! He also worked with both Sean Connery (James Bond) and Jon Lovitz (the exact opposite of James Bond) over the course of two years. Moby took one look at Red Rock West and wrote a song about Nic Cage because Nic Cage is made of stars, and so to commemorate that, we bring you a look at two of Cage’s films in what may become a regular thing here if the mood strikes us me.

Without further ado, film reviews and slightly less peculiar word choices.

Seeking Justice

The first of four Cage movies that I watched last night in an unhealthy binge of whisper/scream acting, Seeking Justice stars Cage as a high school teacher whose wife (played by Mad Men’s January Jones) gets sexually assaulted on the streets of New Orleans. Beset by grief and sitting in the waiting room in the hours after the attack, Cage’s character is approached by Guy Pearce, who plays a shady stranger that offers Cage a chance at revenge through his group of vigilante do-gooders, provided Cage promises to return the favor one day.

Cage Vamp

All in all, the premise sounds like the basis for an interesting and grimy examination into the sadistic parts of an emotionally destroyed brain and the dark places that can get visited in moments of deep duress. It’s easy to empathize with Cage’s character in that moment when he agrees to this deal with Pearce, and it’s interesting to see the reality of what he has done settle around his shoulders and bleed into his heart. He is a defacto murderer, but he tries to move on. Sadly, Pearce and others in the organization keep coming for him.

I would have loved this movie had it accepted this simple premise and not tried to weave a somewhat complex and mostly implausible conspiracy that taints the police, mild-mannered friends, and many others. This could have been a bare thriller, casting Cage as a man who has to run from a sin that many of us might entertain if put in the same set of horrific circumstances.

The end is painfully predictable, but Cage is solid and so is Jones, who I usually can’t stand. Guy Pearce should have written “Pass” on his forehead so he remembered to run away from this thoroughly cartoonish black hat role, rather than report to set everyday. That was a Memento reference  in case you weren’t picking up what I was throwing down.


Cage Face Seeking Justice


Directed by Joel Schumacher, Tresspass makes the same mistake as Seeking Justice in that it takes a simple premise — a home invasion that unites a divided family against masked theives — and corrupts it with ambition and a need to give every single character busy work.

The film stars Cage, Nicole Kidman and Liana Liberato as a diamond broker, his desperate housewife, and his rebellious daughter, and Cam Gigandet, Ben Mendelsohn (who is quite good in this), Dash Mihok, and Jordana Spiro as the masked thieves who invade Cage’s posh house looking for a quick score.

Cage is fantastic in this one, employing some kind of high pitched, dweeb tone to oversell his flaccidity and architectural over-compensation. He also refuses to give the thieves the money that they desire and gets the living crap beaten out of him for his trouble making ways, so if anyone is still pissed off about Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, this is an Ikea bed built for you to sleep and dream on.

Cage Vamp

The real trouble — with the story — begins when we go behind the mask and start learning about the thieves’ backstory. Mihok is a sadistic heavy, Mendelsohn is small time dope peddler looking to payoff a debt that he owes to Mihok’s employer while keeping both his little brother (Gigandet) and his psycho stripper girlfriend in line. By the way, it’s Gigandet’s character that hatched this whole plan and he’s actually in love with/stalking Kidman’s character without cause and with tremendous, negative effect.

I weep for what this could have been had they kept the thieves faceless and kept the domestic squabbles in the forefront instead of efforting to make a more Better Home and Gardens friendly version of Panic Room on crack. But hey, it’s Schumacher, so it’s just gotta be busy and wrought with an abundance of layers that suck all the air out of the metaphorical room and clog the story with needless knick knacks that we have to climb over to get to the point.

With that said, it’s a good film that could have been better. Overall…

Cage Face Trespass

So, two Nicolas Cage reviews and a testimonial to the man’s genius. Clearly you, dear reader, won at life Plinko. Stay tuned, maybe next time we’ll talk about Knowing and Amos and Andrew.

Uwe Boll Wants to Tell Us How the Economy Broke

Well fuck Margin Call, Uwe Boll is about to shoot his testosterone all over the 2008 economic meltdown and put a gory stamp on a period of time that many Americans are still trying to recover from. Boll, the profane auteur behind some truly awful (or awesome, depending on your perspective and/or proclivity for glue inhalation) will begin shooting (no “no pun intended”) The Bailout in Vancouver in the beginning of April.

There has been no official synopsis yet but THR reports that the film will center around Jim, “an average New Yorker who loses everything because of the 2008 Wall Street financial crisis, and who strikes back by targeting investment bankers for assassination.”

No word yet on who will play “Jim” in Boll’s violent revenge fantasy, but I’m pretty sure Jason Statham just got half a roll of nickels in his pocket from the mini-synopsis. Also, Nic Cage could be a match since I’m pretty sure the government confiscated his ability to say no.

Pop Quiz: A back to back future viewing of The Bailout and Bobcat Goldthwait’s God Bless America vs a Katherine Heigl mini-marathon, which would incite more violence?


Back in the year 2000, Nicolas Cage owned a copy of Action Comics No. 1, featuring the first appearance of Superman. The comic was stolen from the actor. The mint-condition issue, worth upwards of $1.5m, remained missing until 2011, when the comic was found in an abandoned storage locker in the San Fernando Valley.

Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon (Reno 911!, Night at the Museum) have scripted a film called Action No. 1 that covers the theft, or at least a fictionalized version of it. And now Lionsgate has picked up the script and will hopefully turn it into a film.

THR notes that Garant and Lennon originally wrote the script with Nic Cage in mind to play himself, but says that it is currently unlikely that Cage will play the part. Cage won’t play himself. Man that sucks. Who could play the crazy Cage though? Jason Statham has been mentioned in connection with the script in the past, although he isn’t involved right now.

The script would feature “a group of nerds who attempt to steal Cage’s copy of Action Comics No. 1,” but right now it is still at script stage, with no other cast or director attached. Sounds a lot like Fanboys to this NerdBastard.

Though this is likely to end up as a comically-exaggerated version of the story, the real tale is pretty weird: the comic was among a partial collection stolen from Cage’s home, after which he took an insurance payout for the loss. It was found by a man who had bought the contents of a storage locker at auction; a string of contacts in the collectibles world quickly established the book as being Cage’s missing issue.

The whole story of the theft is bizarre. Once the comic was authenticated by the dealer that had sold it to Cage in the first place, further insurance company wrangling took place. In the decade between theft and recovery, occasional tips were given to police about the location of the book. One sent them to a safety deposit box in Tennessee that contained a Victoria’s Secret catalogue with a fake Action Comics cover. Fanboy trolling?

Did you think a little fire pissing, bullet spitting and frantic action was gonna make Ghost Rider 2 better than the first? Yeah… even I’ll admit the trailer for Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance was unexpectedly epic. Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, the filmmaking team best known for Crank and Crank 2 know how to deliver some crazy shit. And honestly, I don’t see how they could make a worse film than the first, but apparently they have.  Several attendees of Harry Knowles’ annual”Butt-Numb-A-Thon” have Tweeted their reaction after seeing the movie. Lets just say our hopes for a bigger, better and proper adaptation of Ghost Rider got deflated real fucking quick.


What once cost a mere 10 cents seventy-three years ago, cost some rich, and lucky son of a bitch, an insane Lex Luthor amount of money last night in New York city. Considered by many to be the “Holy Grail” of comic books, a near perfect issue of Action Comics #1 from 1938 has sold for an amazing $2,161,000 and broke the record held by a similar issue sold last year.

This issue, once owned by self professed comic nerd and movie star Nic Cage, has quite a past to it already. Not only is it the first issue from Action Comics, it’s the first appearance of Superman, DC’s “Man of Steel”. As one of the several comics stolen from the actor back in 2000, the comic was recovered this past April, found in a San Fernando Valley storage locker by the Los Angeles Police Department’s Art Theft Detail.

Nic purchased the comic for a reported $150,000 back in 1997 and even that was considered unheard of for it’s time. After the theft Nic was paid off by the insurance company ten years ago when it was first stolen. At least he was smart enough to insure the stolen comics.

ComicConnect Corporation in New York City hosted the auction and will take a 10% commission on the final sale. Besides the huge commision, Owner and COO Vincent Zurzolo was just happy to be involved in the once in a lifetime event:

“This copy of Action Comics #1 is the Holy Grail of all comics and we’re proud to be auctioning it off here at ComicConnect,” he said. “We were fortunate enough to sell the former world-record holder, Action Comics #1 in 8.5 back in March of 2010 and this current copy is unequaled. This is a historic day and we’re very excited to see where this lands.

Graded at a 9.0 and inspected by Certified Guaranty Company in New Jersey there are fewer then ten copies of this issue in such condition. Back in a lesser, 8.5-rated CGC copy sold for $1.5 million, becoming the most expensive comic of it’s time. Predicted to obliterate the previous record this auction had only Fifty bids recorded before the gavel fell.

Congratulations you lucky bastard, whoever you are.

Via: Blastr

(Post by nerdbastards contributor Mark Poynter, a.k.a Mordrun)

Well, it’s time to man up.  I only decided to write about this movie because the article tag line was:

“Nic Cage Says “Ghost Rider 2 Will Blow Your Mind”

and I wanted to say, “Good, I’ve already had my balls blown by the first train wreck that was Ghost Rider, my mind could use the stimulation.” Then it happened.  I started getting past the tag lines and one-liners.  Nic Cage has been doing press for the movie Season of the Witch and fielding some questions about Ghost Rider.

io9.c0m asked:

Those two (Directors, Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor) are exceptionally original. How else are they changing the tone of the first film, is it even similar to the original?

Cage answered:

It is a completely different film. The first one, which I won’t denigrate – I liked the first one, but it was almost like a fairy tale. Almost like a Disney fair tale interpretation of Faust. This one is completely re-conceived, it’s not even connected to the the first one, it’s a different origin sequence. But I think it will be a brand new experience. It has more adrenaline involved in the film making process itself, and in the movie when you see it. Again, I think the stuff we’re able to get into with Ghost Rider is going to be a lot more abstract and not like anything you’ve ever see before. So I’m very excited by it.

So Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is a mix of sequel and reboot.  Glad to see they are not going to just continue the series without hopefully improving the mistakes of the first.

Nic goes on to talk about the character Johnny Blaze:

He’s become a lot more sarcastic, now that his head has been ignited. Unlike the first one where he was trying to keep it at bay. Now he’s been living with the Ghost Rider for some time, there’s a lot more irony with the character. His outlook isn’t as quite naive as it once was.

Maybe we’ll get some good old fashion Nic Cage “crazy” in there.  Two other items caught my attention.  One is that Nic Cage will be doing the  body work for the film sequences as the Ghost Rider.  In the first film stuntmen or body doubles were used.  The second is in the plot.

Johnny Blaze, aka Ghost Rider (Nicolas Cage), is hiding out in remote Eastern Europe and struggling to repress his curse. Blaze is recruited by a sect to take on the devil, who wants to take over his (Johnny Blaze) mortal son’s body on the boy’s birthday.

The boys name is Danny Ketch in the script.  That’s the name of the person who assumed the Ghost Rider curse after Johnny Blaze in the comics.  Could this mean a death or lifted curse for Johnny Blaze during the movie?  We’ll have to check back as more information and clips become available.