Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut. Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
ABOVE: Take my love, take my land. Take me where I cannot stand. I don’t care, I’m still free, you can’t take the NOMS from me. [Geekdad]
Well this one is here for you Harry potter fans. Rebecca Black strikes again and the parody of her song meme continues.
I fully expect this well-written parody from GinnyisaPrincess to get a few thousand views in the next couple days. 1. It’s Harry Potter. That magic malarkey is bigger than Jesus (yes, I pulled a Lennon) 2. Rebecca Black is hypnotoad. “ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD”. 3. GinnyisaPrincess‘s Legs and feet. If not for the song, jump to the 35 sec. mark (shown above), but grab a tissue.. you’ll need it to sop up the drool. *has fingers crossed* God, I really, really hope I didn’t just pull a pedo. Ginny, you’re 18, right?
It was just a matter of time before someone went and mashed together the awesomeness of Star Wars with Rebecca Black’s “Internet Dark Side” song Friday. Teddie Films stepped up to the plate with no fear and hit a stand up triple with their parody “Prime Day.” “Han in the front seat, Luke in the back seat…” Comedy Gold I tell ya, Comedy Gold. I’m torn though, on the one hand Rebecca is underage in 35 states in the union, and “Leia” is a dude. Though he does look pretty good in those hair buns. When are we gonna see him in the gold bikini, I’m sure that would help me in my confusion.
True story. There was this one time when I smoked a blunt while I had the Nintendo Mii Channel playin’ in the background. Ya know, that custom character creation area where you can act like GOD? Ya that’s it, that’s the story. Nothing happened. I was content and the Mii jingle soothed me into euphoria. If there’s any message in this story it’s that weed and the Mii channel makes the world right. Other message? My stories suck, don’t ever listen to me.
Anyway, while I’m under the influence of the ganja I think about a lot of things. Like what my penis would look like in the hands of a midget (Smurfy), or what a bed made of jello might be like (I assume amazing), but with the Mii Channel going, I’m like “If this song had lyrics I wonder what they would be?”.
Answering this call, is our dear friend BrentalFloss. Ole’ Brent was under another consciousness-altering substance when he came up with lyrics to the Mii Jingle. Beer! Is there anything it can’t do? Of course his imbibing of the golden nectar might explain why he looks, sounds and acts like a massive pedo. Regardless, “MaKe A mIi WiTh MeEeEe. It’Ll Be So MuCh FuNnNnNnN!!” Watch the video below:
Ya good luck gettin’ that song stuck out of your head. By the way, call me observant but my god, Brent seems to have the cleanest socks. Just sayin’.
We’ve seen countless videos parodying the obvious but unseen truth of Pokemon abuse (hunting of innocent and rare creatures, imprisoning them in tiny balls and making them fight each other on a daily basis), but this latest one from Cracked.com is perhaps the most shocking depiction. You’ll cry.. or maybe smile. Depends what kind of sick bastard you are.
OK, couple things wrong with this video. 1. The Pokeballs break the law of conversion of mass so it doesn’t work realistically. But maybe that’s the point. How would you feel after being crammed into 4×4 inch circle? 2. Ash would never put Pikachu in the Pokeball in the first place! He’s racist that way. For this video to be more “realistic” it should have shown Ash being arrested for animal cruelty and maybe truancy. Fucker never goes to school.
Regardless, poor Pikachu. His limp body and sad dying face being pulled back into the wind will haunt me.
The guys at How It Should Have Ended have delivered again. This time with How District 9 should have ended. HISHE brings up and answers those burning movie questions we NerdBastards have after watching movies. The scene we don’t see in this video is the scene in which the Human (Wikus) hits the alien father (Christopher) over the head with a shovel and steals the last hope of the aliens and the only functional alien shuttle with Christopher’s son aboard for Pete’s sake. How would you react if someone did that to you?
HISHE is open to requests and movie questions that anyone has, what burning movie question do you have?
For years I’ve been saying that Pokémon was and is an evil subliminal message promoting animal cruelty via forced fighting. It’s right up there with cock-fighting and dog-fighting. Actually it’s worse. It’s being sold to children. CHILDREN! Telling them to go out into the world and hunt for rare and innocent creatures. Trap them in tiny ball. Deprave them of food and force them to battle one another for amusement, money and fame. Pokémon trainers are goddamn Michael Vick in mass!
Mirroring the sentiment, is a Poke-Fight PSA by Genesis Matrix. Ash Ketchum and crew finally catch a conscience. Having learned a very important lesson about Pokémon fighting — namely, that it’s incredibly evil and depraved. If you know whats right, then forward this video along to the ignorant in your lives. No Pokemon should have to be a fighting type!
Also, “If you only have one type of Pokemon, that’s racist.”
It’s always funny trying to degrade those Jersey D-Bags even further, but damn you collegehumor, you’ve ruined a childhood cartoon with the Jersey Shore. I don’t know which is worse: this sketch or the fact that I’m such a huge DBZ fan to know enough about it to hate this sketch. Vegeta would never call Goku “Son Goku” He’d call him Kakarot. Oh fuck me, I’m such a nerd.
It would have been much more satisfying if Goku just destroyed those attention sluts. Eh, liver failure and skin and lung cancer will eventually do that in real life, so at least we have that.
Check out for yourself what would go down if Goku & company landed on the Jersey Shore.
While making Paul, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost decided to re-shoot the entire Star Wars movie scene for scene . . . they only got this far.
“You were built by Darth bloody Vadar!”
Anyone else want to see the rest? I’d buy a movie ticket to see more of these two doing star Wars scenes. Now I bet if someone out there started a web page campaign to get Simon and Nick to redo Star Wars, we could get further than the Browncoats did with getting Firefly back on TV . . . what do you think?
Who’s gonna get this ball rolling? I would . . . but I have to walk the dog . . . and take out the trash . . . and there’s that book I have been meaning to write . . .