PETA

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Christ on a Triscuit, PETA!

Crap like this is why most people look at you as delusional wackjobs at best, and dangerous fanatics at worst!

So here’s the deal: According to some released images of the upcoming Assassin’s Creed 4 for the also upcoming Playstation 4 (specifically, the image above), it seems that at some point or another there is whaling involved. Now, whether this is merely a cut-scene, or a minigame or actual part of the central plot which requires you to engage in virtual whaling is unclear, but the fact that the practice is depicted at all is enough to get PETA’s collective knickers in a twist (for all we know, these could be the game’s VILLAINS doing the whaling!)

I suppose this is a step up from two years ago, when they protested Mario’s Tanooki suit under the “Fur Is Murder” doctrine (I swear, that mess was surreal enough to be an Onion article). At least the Assassin’s Creed franchise takes place in the “normal” world (albeit in the past), rather than a fanciful Kingdom of mushroom people and killer turtles. And yes, whaling IS very real, both in the era of Assassin’s Creed 4 and today, and it is a reprehensible, largely prohibited practice. Do not mistake my ridicule of PETA’s batshit insanity for anything resembling the support of whaling.

But let’s hear straight from the Equine-American’s mouth, shall we?

Whaling—that is, shooting whales with harpoons and leaving them to struggle for an hour or more before they die or are hacked apart while they are still alive—may seem like something out of the history books, but this bloody industry still goes on today in the face of international condemnation, and it’s disgraceful for any game to glorify it. PETA encourages video game companies to create games that celebrate animals—not games that promote hurting and killing them.

You know what else is disgraceful? The despicable practice of accepting money, goods, or other compensation in exchange for committing cold-blooded murder–also known as being an assassin….y’know–the thing THE ENTIRE SERIES IS ABOUT!!! But this doesn’t seem to bother PETA in the least. Oh, and before you say it’s because only humans are killed, what about the scores of games that involve killing animals for sport, food, profit, or survival? I can’t count how many wolves I’ve brutally slaughtered in Skyrim, or how many deer and bears I’ve blown away in Red Dead Redemption….where were the champions of animal rights then?

Assassin’s Creed 4 is a period game. And during the era it is set, whaling was commonplace and unregulated. If parts of the game featuring seafaring in the northern hemisphere DIDN’T touch upon the subject at least a little, it would be an inaccurate portrait of life on the seas at the time.

The idea that whaling in a video game will lead to desensitization to the practice in the real world is as absurd and demonstrably wrong as the repeatedly disproved notion that video game violence encourages players to commit acts of real violence.

Source: Blastr

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or PETA to those of us that don’t really care about the long form of their name, have begun to protest a new, outlandish cause. Having previously made claims that Mario’s use of his famous Tanooki suit in Super Mario 3D Land was inhumane, the animal rights group is now fighting for the equal treatment of Pokemon.

It sounds even more insane than claims they’ve made toward other Nintendo games, but according to PETA Pokemon are treated:

“akin to how elephants are chained up in train carts, waiting to be let out to “perform” in circuses. But the difference between real life and this fictional world full of organized animal fighting is that Pokemon games paint rosy pictures of things that are actually horrible.”

We’re not trying to troll you – this is a legitimate claim from PETA.  But why are they doing this now instead of using one of the many chances they’ve already had to protest the franchise in the last decade?  Because Pokemon Black & White 2 was just released.

In order to combat our sick desire to pit Pokemon vs. Pokemon, the animal rights group has placed on their site a mini-game called Pokemon Black & Blue.  It’s their attempt to save the impressionable minds of our youth via Pokemon vs. Trainer battles. We’ve linked the fifteen minute game in the image below for you to “play”. It plays slightly similar to it’s friendly counter-part, but with an emphasis on fair treatment for digital animals.

I wonder if PETA did some fact checking on the theme of the Pokemon franchise.  The message in Pokemon is that of equality between trainers and the Pokemon they work beside in their various quests. Even in a recent article from Forbes, author David Ewalt wrote:

“The games are loaded with an endless stream of characters who go on and on about true friendship between man and Pokemon.  It’s so saccharine and so completely opposite what PETA suggests that it boggles the mind.”

None of the Pokemon titles, past or present, have been linked to cases of animal cruelty at any time that we know of.  Nor have they made us want to whip our Game Boys because our Pokemon evolved to soon (even though that did suck). Don’t get us wrong, some of the causes PETA defends are actually quite noble. This time, however, their attempt at social relevance is lost. We can’t wait to hear what they claim we’re doing to Furbys though – now that’s a serious issue.

Source: PETA

Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut.

Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at nerdybits@nerdbastards.com.

Watch what might be one of the single, greatest sitcom pranks of our generation. Patton Oswalt, comedian, writer and all around nerd tweeted yesterday, “Forgot I did this. I stayed absolutely motionless in the opening scene from a King Of Queens episode. EERIE.” And that’s exactly what hilariously happens. (Nerdist)

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Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut.

Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at nerdybits@nerdbastards.com.

OMG! Universes collide when the Star Trek: TNG crew watch Star Wars IV: A New Hope! The best part is Troi’s dead-on analysis of Han Solo. She so wants him over Riker. (TDW: Geek)

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Yeah, you’re reading that headline correctly people. This past weekend Nintendo released Super Mario 3D Land, the latest edition of the Mario franchise for the Nintendo 3DS. In the game, Mario can suit-up in many different ways to defeat all kinds of little creatures. One suit however, has PETA pissed.

According to PETA the Tanooki suit, which grants him the plumber the ability to glide in the air after jumping, is sending the wrong message to gamers.

“Tanooki may be just a ‘suit’ in Mario games, but in real life, tanuki are raccoon dogs who are skinned alive for their fur,” according the the PETA Mario Kills Tanooki website. “By wearing Tanooki, Mario is sending the message that it’s OK to wear fur.”

Showing their disgust for Mario’s animal wearing ways, PETA created Super Tanooki Skin 2D, in which you play as the Tanuki. The goal of  which is to chase after the plumber and get your skin back. It’s actually a pretty fun side scroller.

Now we here at Nerd Bastards would never advocate wearing the fur of animals, but it’s a game people. The Tanooki suit isn’t made of fur, it’s made of pixels and it looks more like something made for a furry convention, a far cry from the creatures the group is defending.

PETA’s heart is in the right place, but how about going after actual causes where real people are involved. Not plumbers trying to nail a princess.

Via: Kotaku

 

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Attack of The Show host and nerd eye candy Olivia Munn is luring fanboys to PETA’S “Boycott the Circus” campaign with her umm body. Expressing her solidarity with the mistreated circus elephants, by not wearing clothes.

Boycott the circus because Olivia Munn is naked? Why, what a marvelous idea. However, this may be one of those instances where the message gets lost in the pretty pretty naked picture of the sexy girl who is naked and pretty.

Olivia explains, “When you look at something like the circus and everyone’s laughing and there’s color and there’s music and everything seems so great, but when you go right behind that door and they’re in these crates all day long and then they’re getting shocked and beat just so they can get up and dance around on a ball … it was just so sickening.” Please join Olivia in helping to stop cruelty under the big top and spread the word about this important issue to everyone you know!

source: geekosystem