pirates of the caribbean: dead men tell no tales

If the recent, already forgotten Internet meme of the rotting corpse of an unidentified giant sea creature came back miraculously to zombified half-life, it would like, sound, not to mention smell like Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, the fifth overlong, over-directed, over-everything entry no one seems to want or care about with the exception of Disney (they have $.37 billion reasons) or Johnny Depp (in desperate need, once again, of a career revitalizer). To be fair, even as American moviegoers gave the last, underwhelming entry, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, close to a pass (relative to a typically bloated budget), international audiences fully embraced On Stranger Tides. In short, we have international audiences to blame for foisting one more, hopefully last entry in the theme-park-ride-turned-improbable movie-franchise and maybe one more after Disney counts international box-office returns from entry No. 5.

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When Johnny Depp created the persona of Captain Jack Sparrow in 2003’s Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, his inspiration was a rock and roll pirate in the mood of Rolling Stones’ member Keith Richards. Richards then returned the compliment by appearing in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, as Keeper of the Code Captain Teague, who also happened to be Jack’s father. But Richards is about to be joined in the Pirates franchise with another member of rock royalty, and now you can see Sir Paul McCartney is full pirate mode, as he’ll appear in the upcoming Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales(more…)

In real life, Johnny Depp‘s had some problems lately, the most recent being a court battle with a former business manager that accuses Depp of being a spend-thrift who’s wildly loose with his own cash. When life gets you down, dress like a pirate apparently. That’s what Depp did last week when he payed a surprise visit to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland dressed as his Pirates of the Caribbean movie series character Captain Jack Sparrow to entertain visitors to the park. Naturally, pandemonium ensued because everybody still loves Captain Jack when he’s doing his Captain Jack thing. (more…)

Much of the advertising for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dean Men Tell No Tales has been conspicuous by the absence of Jack Sparrow. Sorry, Captain Jack Sparrow. Despite billions of dollars in the bank, it seems that Disney is keenly aware that Johnny Depp‘s schtick as the world’s best (or luckiest) pirate has worn a little thin, which is why the focus has seemed to fall on Javier Bardem‘s villainous Captain Salazar, who has a little history with Capt’n Jack that’s about to catch up to the both of them. In the new trailer, that history is given a little more light as “The Final Adventure” (?) begins. (more…)

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Shortly after the last Pirates of the Caribbean film was released back in 2011, Disney started planning for yet another film. After going through a little bit of development hell, the film was finally green-lit in 2014 with Johnny Depp returning as everyone’s favorite Keith Richards impersonator, Captain Jack Sparrow. Also returning are Geoffrey Rush as Captain Barbossa, Kevin McNally as Gibbs, and Orlando Bloom returning as Will Turner, who we haven’t seen since the third film Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End.

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It’s a well-known fact of movie lore that when Johnny Depp first portrayed Captain Jack Sparrow in 2003’s Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, he modeled his performance on Rolling Stone guitarist Keith Richards. Richards himself would repay the compliment a few years later appearing as Sparrow’s father Captain Teague, the Keeper of the Code, in At World’s End and On Stranger Tides, the third and fourth Pirates movie. So with that tangential connection between a major Disney franchise and the British Invasion of the 1960s, we’ve learned today that one of the surviving Beatles will be making his way to the Caribbean to play pirate with the cast of Dead Men Tell No Tales. (more…)

johnny-depp

It’s not due in theaters for two more years, but we’re already being shown that life for Jack Sparrow Captain Jack Sparrow hasn’t changed much in the upcoming fifth edition of the Pirates of the Caribbean series, Dead Men Tell No Tales. The previous film, On Stranger Tides, made serious bank at the box office, so Disney pushed on with a chapter five even though I doubt you can find anyone who can recount with any reliability the plot of Jack Sparrow’s last adventure. Of course, it’s not like it matters because money talks and Pirates 5 is currently in production, which brings us to the below photo of Johnny Depp back in Captain Jack form, and getting into trouble with fellow pirates (as always). (more…)

pirates5

In just about 3 years, another film in the POTC franchise will take what it can–which, based on history, could be as much as a billion dollars worldwide–and give nothing back, except a reasonably entertaining two hours or so.

Perhaps solely to remind us that they STILL do things other than Star Wars and superheroes, Disney has decided to continue the lucrative franchise with a fifth installment tentatively subtitled “Dead Men Tell No Tales”.

As for who will make up this outing’s cast, we have no information as of yet–though all 4 installments have thus far starred Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow, and Geoffrey Rush as Captain Barbossa, so the return of one or both of them is more or less assured…..and frankly, I don’t see how you could even consider making a POTC film without Depp–but then, I didn’t think they could (or should) make one without Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley….More after the jump: (more…)