Reservoir Dogs

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It seems that these days, everyone has an opinion on everything – or more accurately: people have had opinions for a long time, but now the internet bombards us with everyone’s opinion on everything.  There is a select group of people in the world of entertainment, however, that most would agree have actually earned the right to have their opinions carry the actual weight that most of us believe our ideas should.  I think most would agree that Quentin Tarantino – the seminal writer/director behind such pop-culture mega-hits as Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, Reservoir Dogs, Inglorious Basterds, and so much more – would fall into that category.  He recently opened up about his feelings on the recent influx of superhero movies – read on to hear his thoughts!

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In the hustle and bustle of the modern world, it is hard to keep up on all the crazy pop-culture one-liners your friends pop off in a cafe before a bank job or moments after accidentally shooting your backseat passenger in the face … Luckily College Humor has prepared a handy little video reference of many (nearly all) of Quentin Taratino‘s many pop-culture references. True RomanceReservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, hell even Death Proof and his short from Four Rooms make the cut. So next time you are facing off with a Nazi Commandant and you find yourself searching for a classic Charlie Chaplin based burn, hopefully the following will help. (more…)

The Interwebz is a great place for nerdy art and the like. A lot of the time it’s crazy things like Wonder Woman dressing on the invisible jet, Skeletor getting ribbed for your pleasure, and other weird shit. There are also a lot of awesome (non soul destroying) things that we see on a daily basis, and we round them up for your viewing pleasure.

ABOVE: Isn’t it nice to see two super heroines getting along with each other, especially when their done incredibly well by deviant artist Ricken? Now if only they would take part in that all girls sleepover over in the watchtower, two words. Epic pillow fight. [Deviantart]

Hit the jump for The Walking Dead, Minimalist Avenger Posters, a shot of Catwoman’s treasure and MOAR!
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It’s all fun and games until someone puts out an eye, chops off an hand, or lops off a head. Then it’s all sniveling, running to Mom, and the sting of Iodine. I’m not sure there’s enough Iodine on hand in the bathroom cabinet for the people in the movies listed below. That might take more than just a tube or two. Everyone likes the scenes in movies that shock or surprise you. The best of those scenes also throw in a little mutilation and limb flying action. It’s interesting to note that of the ten movies scenes listed below, only three of the ten, are concidered Horror movies.

You might notice that the list is not numbered and not in any real order. It’s a random listing of ten of the greatest scenes where someone is chopped, has a body part lopped, or removed with extreme prejudice. This NerdBastard is confident that you, the reader,  can arrange the scenes in order of your preferences and probably add a scene or two that escaped this NerdBastard’s feeble memory. That’s what the comments section is for isn’t it? Before you start drafting that comment to slice, dice, and eviscerate this writer’s humble attempt to amuse the masses, check out the scenes below. You can watch the videos by clicking on the highlighted links, isn’t technology wonderful?

 

Monty Python and the Holy GrailBlack Knight scene. This scene, hell this movie, is such a big part of many of our geek childhoods. One would be hard pressed to find a D&D player that has not said, “It’s only a flesh wound.” at least once while playing. Don’t even mention that we get FOUR limbs sliced and diced by Arthur in one great scene. When I was looking for this scene I have to admit that I ended up watching about half the movie before I got back to the article.

 

 

SawThe foot cutting scene. This might be the scene that most average movie goers think of first when thinking about limbs being chopped and or lopped off. The build up is fantastic, the music gripping, you just can’t look away, even when you want to. This is the Evil Dead 2 hand scene without the humor that made it bearable. Since we just mentioned it:

 

Evil Dead 2The Hand chop scene. Even considering the self fight scene from  Fight Club, this Evil Dead 2 scene is still the greatest self fight scene in the history of cinema. The mixture of humor and horror has never been done any better than in this scene with Ash fighting his own hand.

 

Reservoir DogsThe ear torture scene. When you get a moment look this scene up on YouTube  and check out how many re-shot, student /  film school videos this scene has inspired. The act of brutality is implied off screen making it even more horrible and the lightness of the accompanying music is a stroke of genius. The whole scene is chilling, not seeing the actual cuts makes you feel them even more.

 

HighlanderThe Death of Ramirez. This NerdBastard is not ashamed to admit tearing up the first time he watched this scene. The fight, the lightning storm, and the final beheading was great to watch, too bad they never made any other Highlander movies. I mean it wouldn’t be much of a Highlander movie without Ramirez in it and without his head Ramirez couldn’t come back, that would make NO SENSE WHAT SO EVER!

 

Dawn of the Dead 1970Helicopter vs Zombie scene. It’s an age old question, who wins in a helicopter versus Zombie fight. Dawn of the Dead is arguably the greatest Zombie movie ever made. I saw this movie before watching Night of the Living Dead. This was back when television played what it wanted to when it wanted to and you got lucky to catch a movie like this on some VHF late monster movie show. Now a days you young wipper snappers just go to the YouTube and watch what you want when you want. Crap, you made me pull out the old man rant.

 

Kill Bill 2The eye pluck scene. The entire movie is about Kiddo slicing and dicing her way through all her enemies to get to Bill. The Crazy 88’s scene must have at least 20 cut off limbs alone. The eye pluck rises to the top though as a body part removal with extreme prejudice. Watch Elle’s face just before while their swords are locked. See that smirk, Elle knows she is stronger and has the advantage as the situation stands. Beatrix knows it as well and changes the odds with the eye pluck, it worked before with the other eye years ago, why not now?

 

The Silence of the LambsHannibal escapes scene. Hannibal cuts off the face of one of the guards in order to wear it and escape. When The Office parodies the scene, you know it had to be good. Re-watching this scene was a treat. The classical music playing while Hannibal brutally beats and murders those guards with no expression on his face except a hint of superiority and smugness.

 

Conan the BarbarianThulsa Doom Death scene. This was the movie back in the day. Somebody should make a remake of this movie, ONE THAT DOESN”T SUCK BALLS!

Having your village destroyed – FREE.

Throw into slavery and trained as a gladiator – FREE.

Killing the man that destroyed your family with your father’s broken sword in front of his legion of followers – PRICELESS.

One has to admire that Conan went with a “V” cut instead of the traditional horizontal slice. The sheer barbarity of the two stokes makes it memorable. Conan hacks the head off then plays Plinko with it, oh you silly barbarian.

 

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes BackLuke’s Hand scene. Everyone knew this one was going to be on the list, how could it not be? This scene made me gasp in the theater, one of those rare “OH SHIT” moments that gets you and takes you right into the scene. The later revels that his father was Vadar and that his hand / arm had also been cut off just iced the cake for nerdy boys and girls. Now that I think about it, how many hands did get cut off in the series?

 

 

The Interwebz is a great place for nerdy art and the like. A lot of the time it’s fuckin’ weird shit like Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker comparing dicks and shit like that. But there are a lot of awesome things that we see on a daily basis, and we’re lazy nerd bastards so we just round them all up once a week for your nerdgasm glory.

Numero uno this week is Jian Guo‘s work depicting various WoW scenes in a stained glass style. His deviantART page also includes illustrations of LotR scenes in the same vein. These are pretty fuckin’ amazing, and probably require shitloads of time to complete.

More after the jump!
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Arrowhead and Paradox have just introduced  PVP (Player versus Player) to their Magicka game servers for free instead of a pay for additional content package. I have not played the game although I have a friend or two that keep asking me when I am going to. I have my hands full with Rift at the moment.

With this release of PVP content there are also a couple of videos to celebrate. The first is a great little parody of Reservoir Dogs, the second is the game play video.

 

So ya know how there are those rare movie trailers that end up giving away the whole damn movie?! Well the people over at College Humor took that notion one step further and actually ruined the ending of some classic films! They did so however in a hilarious way that makes you not want to kick their ass. They not just ruin but rather massacre the endings to Fight Club, The Usual Suspects, Star Wars, Reservoir Dogs and The Crying Game. Also, odds are you SHOULD have seen most if not all of these films by now anyway. Check out the video that will either give you a chuckle or beat the fuck out of the person next to you. ENJOY!

Source: CollegeHumor

[Editors Note: I’ve written 3 paragraphs more than I needed to. So, in short- There will be a Reservoir Dogs porn. That is all.]

Us nerdbastards sure love porn. We love it like a fat guy likes cake. Now, when pornos make their way into the nerd medium by parodying pop culture with titles like Batman: A XXX Parody, The Sex Files, This Ain’t Avatar XXX that just makes us shoot massive, white, ropey wads of nerd splooge (Enough to give Spider-Man a run for his money.).  Some naysayers are complaining that there is just too many goddamn titles coming out. Ya got a Hulk parody, Avengers, Justice League, Superman, Wonder Woman, Star Wars…etc. Could it be becoming too much of a good thing? Too much porn? Never! Never, I tell you!

Adding to the library of greatest porno ideas ever comes (I’m throwing the word “come” around an awful lot) a parody to rule them all. AVN reports [link definitely not safe for work] that Exquisite Films, the same company that just did a porno Justice League film, is working on an “upscale, mature parody of Quentin Tarantino’s cult classic. Reservoir Dogs” Yes my horny nerd brethren a motha fuckin’ Reservoir Dogs porno will be in our grasps. If you’re like “Wha? Why is that a good idea?” may we remind you of the very raunchy dick talk in the films opening sequence? That dialog alone is reason to grant the idea of a Reservoir Dogs porn. After the first ten minutes, why watch the rest of the movie? Just think of the hilarity that will ensue when they go to porno-fy certain sequences in the film. Like what gets cut off, if not an ear? How are they gonna handle that? Do we even want to know…lol? Mr. Orange bleeding all over the back seat of Mr. White’s car also comes to mind.

Now, here’s the kicker. This son’ bitch is planned to be 3 hours long. I guess when you try to make a sex flick out of 99-minutes of dialogue then it’s run time is unavoidable, that is if you wish to capture the story and essence of the flick. But, 3 hours? Motha’ fuck, I can’t make it passed 30 minutes in any porn. Fuck, I’m lucky if I get passed 30 seconds (those quick, flashy trailers of other porn titles do me in every time.).

That cast includes Chanel Preston as Ms. Orange, Andy San Dimas as Ms White, Lizzy Borden as Ms. Blonde, Kimberly Kane as Ms. Pink and Raylene as Nice Girl Eddie.

It’s on my illegally download wish list.

source: slashfilm