There was old saying, back in the glory days of grindhouse films and low-budget slashers: “When the gore stops flowing, viewers stop showing”.

The now infamous Saw horror franchises obviously took this saying to heart, when they ran their 6 sequels to create a run-away horror mega-hit that finally went out with more of a whimper rather than a bang, with Saw 7. However, there is a bit of good news to share with all our gorror readers, as Saw Legacy was recently announced to have moved out of development hell and into production, backed by a very peculiar writing team…


Here’s some news worthy of our “WTF?” designation.

Do you want to go on a cruise? Now say that in the creepy Tobin Bell through a tape recorder voice. That’s how Carnival Cruiselines is going to promote its latest theme holiday “The Saw at Sea Cruise.” Don’t worry, nobody tortures you in death traps, you just get to hang out with your favorite Saw celebrities that Carnival could afford to get. Here’s what the company has to say about the cruise:

Let’s play a game…onboard the beautiful and luxurious Carnival Glory! If you’re a Fan of the “SAW” movies, you don’t want to miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to cruise with your favorite “SAW” Celebrities. This amazing (5) night cruise departs from New York City and travels to the most beautiful points in Canada (the last six “SAW” movies were filmed in Canada). Your onboard meals are included. Each cabin will also receive a $50 Carnival Credit. During this amazing cruise, you will be able to party with the “SAW” Stars and meet other fans who love “SAW” just like you! You will attend fantastic pool and dance parties, question and answer Sessions and many special events. You can also get autographs from the “SAW” stars, take FREE individual photos with the “SAW” stars, attend FREE movie screenings, and much, much more.

I like how the cruise is plugging the Canada connection even though the movies were shot in Toronto and the cruise takes you to New Brunswick and Nova Scotia, which, if you know your Canadian geography, is similar to the distance between Bangor, Maine and Buffalo, NY. Besides, given recent news, does the cruise business really want to foster a greater connection between taking a cruise and dying horribly?

If you’re morbid enough to want to read more about the cruise click here and click here if you’re especially disturbed enough to sign up. You could be eating dinner with the Drill Chair Man this August!

In other waste of money news, “King of the World” James Cameron is investing some of his in an endeavor at The Museum of Flight in Seattle called “The Future of Space.” The event takes place April 24, and the Museum website describes it thusly:

A new company will be unveiling its mission to revolutionize current space exploration activities and ultimately create a better standard of living on Earth. Don’t miss your opportunity to be among the first to find out what’s next from the world’s leading commercial space pioneers and the people who will chart the future.

Or, to quote MIT’s Tech Review:

Supported by an impressive investor and advisor group, including Google’s Larry Page & Eric Schmidt, Ph.D.; film maker & explorer James Cameron; Chairman of Intentional Software Corporation and Microsoft’s former Chief Software Architect Charles Simonyi, Ph.D.; Founder of Sherpalo and Google Board of Directors founding member K. Ram Shriram; and Chairman of Hillwood and The Perot Group Ross Perot, Jr., the company will overlay two critical sectors – space exploration and natural resources – to add trillions of dollars to the global GDP. This innovative start-up will create a new industry and a new definition of ‘natural resources’.

So I guess we’re one step closer to space miners. Or at least that’s how I read “a new definition of ‘natural resources.'” Honestly, can’t human beings go anywhere without mining the place?

Source: /Film

It’s all fun and games until someone puts out an eye, chops off an hand, or lops off a head. Then it’s all sniveling, running to Mom, and the sting of Iodine. I’m not sure there’s enough Iodine on hand in the bathroom cabinet for the people in the movies listed below. That might take more than just a tube or two. Everyone likes the scenes in movies that shock or surprise you. The best of those scenes also throw in a little mutilation and limb flying action. It’s interesting to note that of the ten movies scenes listed below, only three of the ten, are concidered Horror movies.

You might notice that the list is not numbered and not in any real order. It’s a random listing of ten of the greatest scenes where someone is chopped, has a body part lopped, or removed with extreme prejudice. This NerdBastard is confident that you, the reader,  can arrange the scenes in order of your preferences and probably add a scene or two that escaped this NerdBastard’s feeble memory. That’s what the comments section is for isn’t it? Before you start drafting that comment to slice, dice, and eviscerate this writer’s humble attempt to amuse the masses, check out the scenes below. You can watch the videos by clicking on the highlighted links, isn’t technology wonderful?


Monty Python and the Holy GrailBlack Knight scene. This scene, hell this movie, is such a big part of many of our geek childhoods. One would be hard pressed to find a D&D player that has not said, “It’s only a flesh wound.” at least once while playing. Don’t even mention that we get FOUR limbs sliced and diced by Arthur in one great scene. When I was looking for this scene I have to admit that I ended up watching about half the movie before I got back to the article.



SawThe foot cutting scene. This might be the scene that most average movie goers think of first when thinking about limbs being chopped and or lopped off. The build up is fantastic, the music gripping, you just can’t look away, even when you want to. This is the Evil Dead 2 hand scene without the humor that made it bearable. Since we just mentioned it:


Evil Dead 2The Hand chop scene. Even considering the self fight scene from  Fight Club, this Evil Dead 2 scene is still the greatest self fight scene in the history of cinema. The mixture of humor and horror has never been done any better than in this scene with Ash fighting his own hand.


Reservoir DogsThe ear torture scene. When you get a moment look this scene up on YouTube  and check out how many re-shot, student /  film school videos this scene has inspired. The act of brutality is implied off screen making it even more horrible and the lightness of the accompanying music is a stroke of genius. The whole scene is chilling, not seeing the actual cuts makes you feel them even more.


HighlanderThe Death of Ramirez. This NerdBastard is not ashamed to admit tearing up the first time he watched this scene. The fight, the lightning storm, and the final beheading was great to watch, too bad they never made any other Highlander movies. I mean it wouldn’t be much of a Highlander movie without Ramirez in it and without his head Ramirez couldn’t come back, that would make NO SENSE WHAT SO EVER!


Dawn of the Dead 1970Helicopter vs Zombie scene. It’s an age old question, who wins in a helicopter versus Zombie fight. Dawn of the Dead is arguably the greatest Zombie movie ever made. I saw this movie before watching Night of the Living Dead. This was back when television played what it wanted to when it wanted to and you got lucky to catch a movie like this on some VHF late monster movie show. Now a days you young wipper snappers just go to the YouTube and watch what you want when you want. Crap, you made me pull out the old man rant.


Kill Bill 2The eye pluck scene. The entire movie is about Kiddo slicing and dicing her way through all her enemies to get to Bill. The Crazy 88’s scene must have at least 20 cut off limbs alone. The eye pluck rises to the top though as a body part removal with extreme prejudice. Watch Elle’s face just before while their swords are locked. See that smirk, Elle knows she is stronger and has the advantage as the situation stands. Beatrix knows it as well and changes the odds with the eye pluck, it worked before with the other eye years ago, why not now?


The Silence of the LambsHannibal escapes scene. Hannibal cuts off the face of one of the guards in order to wear it and escape. When The Office parodies the scene, you know it had to be good. Re-watching this scene was a treat. The classical music playing while Hannibal brutally beats and murders those guards with no expression on his face except a hint of superiority and smugness.


Conan the BarbarianThulsa Doom Death scene. This was the movie back in the day. Somebody should make a remake of this movie, ONE THAT DOESN”T SUCK BALLS!

Having your village destroyed – FREE.

Throw into slavery and trained as a gladiator – FREE.

Killing the man that destroyed your family with your father’s broken sword in front of his legion of followers – PRICELESS.

One has to admire that Conan went with a “V” cut instead of the traditional horizontal slice. The sheer barbarity of the two stokes makes it memorable. Conan hacks the head off then plays Plinko with it, oh you silly barbarian.


Star Wars: The Empire Strikes BackLuke’s Hand scene. Everyone knew this one was going to be on the list, how could it not be? This scene made me gasp in the theater, one of those rare “OH SHIT” moments that gets you and takes you right into the scene. The later revels that his father was Vadar and that his hand / arm had also been cut off just iced the cake for nerdy boys and girls. Now that I think about it, how many hands did get cut off in the series?



Take equal parts ‘real life superhero’ (think Kick-Ass or Rainn Wilson in “Super”) and pyscho creepy mastermind killer such as Jigsaw from the SAW line of torture porn, what do you get? Jason Trost‘s “Vs.”, hitting the (relatively) big screen in a few weeks at the Toronto After Dark Film Festival. In it, there is this ‘totally not Jigsaw so please don’t sue us’ psycho killer named Rick Shaw (see? mostly different letters) played by Dexter’s dad James Remar.

Rick Shaw really hates generic cosplayers and wants to kill them. He also wants to kill random civilians. He makes elaborate traps and impossible to win games. Lucas Till (Havok from X-MEN FIRST CLASS) stars as one of the cosplayers.

It looks… interesting? My gut tells me it’s either completely awesome or eye gougingly bad. Anyone want to road trip it to Toronto and see it sometime between October 20th and 27th? I have snacks and a new mix tape.

Check out the trailer, what do YOU think?


Review: Saw 3D


All Hallows Eve is upon us, and of course it would not be complete without another game from our friendly neighborhood serial killer. Jigsaw has joined the ranks of Freddy and Jason, and for this generation we need a good slasher, and Jigsaw fits the bill(well most of the time). After the forgettable last few installments, I was pretty sure this series had no more wind left in it’s sails. I was ready to be underwhelmed and snoring by the halfway point, but thankfully from the moment the movie started it gabbed me and didn’t let go until the credits were rolling. It has all you love about the series without a lot of the filler the series has became guilty of in the last few films. Even 7 films in, it still managed to keep me guessing all the way to the end. Finally, when the GOTCHA twist is finally revealed well, goddammit they got me AGAIN! Bloody savages.

Overall the film is very much the same as Saw VI (2009) which was also directed by Kevin Greutert. But that seems to be the structure for the Saw films for some time now. Like many of the sequels it has converging stories. The battle rages on , as Detective Hoffman (Costas Mandylor), Jigsaw’s apprentice who has resorted to out-and-out murder in order to keep his little secret, searches for Jigsaw’s ex-wife, Jill (Betsy Russell). This time around, Jill has gone to the police revealing Hoffman’s secret. The manhunt begins for him as he makes every attempt at finding her for a little bloody revenge. Much of this story involves an internal affairs detective, played by Chad Donella , going from location to location picking up clues here and there that could lead him to Hoffman. And finally we have Jigsaw’s newest torture tested victim Bobby Dagan (Sean Patrick Flanery). Dagan and his family and friends are put through the gauntlet of traps because Dagan, a self help guru lied and about saying he escaped from a trap by Jigsaw–but he never WAS in a trap by Jigsaw.

Sound like a lot? Suprisingly, this is far more simplistic than it sounds. The previous Saw films have far more complexity to their narratives. Part of what I like about this movie is because of the fact that all the other films have tied up many of the loose ends. What is left, is a tight and engaging narrative free of too many bullshit subplots that lead to nothing. There were just enough flashbacks to keep things confusing so you knew you were watching a saw movie, but I never got lost. The simiplicity is welcomed, but the converging stories are unsatisfying. It’s bland, disconnected and unisipired. Mainly because the philosphy of Saw is lost in this one. The motives and intentions of Jigsaw himself have been forgotten. Saw 3D is a revenge story and not a lesson in valuing life.

The acting in the film is typical just like the rest of the series. Some of the acting is really good and some is really bad. Some of the best acting highlights in the film were Tobin Bell, Costas Mandylor, Sean Patrick Flanery and of course Cary Elwes. The low acting point would have be a very awkward Chad Donella and a few other other smaller roles in the film.

That traps? They are back and they are as nasty as ever, if there is one thing this movie delivers on, is fantastic gore. Sawing, crushing, dismemberment, explosions, nerve gassing, impaling, skinning, hanging, incinerating, facial mutilation, tooth-pulling. It might be the most splatter-heavy Saw film to date.

A word of caution (although you may be expecting this now): the 3D is a total waste of money, there are maybe one or two cool limb flying effects utilised in the whole 90 minute movie. Completely meaningless usage.

Is Saw 3D the perfect conclusion to the long drawn out horror/torture franchise? It runs down a checklist of required components, delivering mayhem and suspense. It’s predictable, outlandish and head-slappingly silly. Redundant and stale. So, no. It doesn’t even come close to being a satisfying conclusion, but the bottom line is it wrapped the franchise up, answering (most) questions and was a fun film along the way.

Saw 3D has been marketed as the “Final Chapter” in the Saw film series, but whether or not the filmmakers continue the flagship torture porn franchise, as a spin-off, prequel, or yet another sequel, remains to be seen. What a started out as a small psychological thriller, turned into the best horror franchise ever created. It can’t be over. After all “If it’s Halloween, It Must Be Saw!”


In honor of the release of Saw 3D, being billed as the last of the franchise, Screenrant’s Mike Eisenberg put together a video of everything that you need to know story wise of the Saw franchise. The video is done well where it shows you how some of the deaths happen and Eisenberg does a good job explaining the narrative as the video clocks in at an awesome 6 minutes and 66 seconds.

While there are folks that have gotten tired of the franchise by the fourth/fifth movie, I’ve always appreciated the existence of the film but wouldn’t mind if 3D is the final chapter. So if you were planning to go see Saw 3D, check this video out as it’ll do a good job to refresh your memory as you prepare to play Jigsaw’s final game.

Source: /Film

How Saw Should Have Ended

Screen shot 2010-10-20 at 10.53.02 PM

The series of Saw movies have been a rather interesting experience to watch.

Don’t get me wrong, the first movie BLEW ME AWAY. I did not see the surprise ending coming (which doesn’t happen to me a lot), and it totally changed my perspective when I re-watched the movie. However, the newest addition to the Saw franchise (to be released next Friday), is entitled Saw 3D, the seventh movie in the series.

Honestly, it has become a tad tiresome. But, with the upcoming movie being the (hopeful) final movie in the series … I have hope that it will be just as good as the original.

But, what if the ending of Saw played out differently? What if the the events did not unfold the way they did in the movie?

As always, decided to show us. Check out below for how Saw should have ended and prevented all the silly sequels.

G.R.O.W. is back but only in “lite” form since Tuesday is done and over with. But that shouldn’t stop you from checking out what came out last week and this week as there are a good amount releases that has happen.

Since this will be the  lite edition, only the major console releases has been listed as well as some downloadable game you should check out. G.R.O.W. will be back in its full glory next but for now, check after the jump to see if there is anything coming out that will make your wallets cry!


SAW Maybe Seeing Its ENDGAME


Hello, Nerdbastard Fans. Would you like to play a game?

I’m sure the answer to this question is no. However, I’m pretty sure you would all like some answers as to where SAW is going to take us next. Let’s take a trip down memory lane for a second. Think back to October 29, 2004. SAW made its début and we all thrilled and excited and couldn’t wait until the sequel came out. Fast-forward a year later to October 28, 2005. SAW II was released and we were begging for more. Enter October 27, 2006. The third installment of SAW comes out and about ¾ of the fans are still itching for next year when 4 comes out. However, that other ¼ start to fall off the wagon and are starting to get bored. Here comes October 26, 2009. Still hoping for answers some of us can’t wait until next October and even more people are jumping the boat. And so on until most recently when, on October 23, 2009 SAW 6 was released. Now, if you’re like me you jumped off the wagon after SAW 5. I couldn’t take it anymore. And NO, I have not seen SAW 6 to this day. And actually, I still don’t have any desire to. I got tired of the same shit being portrayed in different ways. (Just like HOUSE if you ask me, same plot, different problem). But if you saw the movie, I’m giving you props for hanging in there and I hope next October comes quickly for you.