T4

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I do not believe in Michael Bay’s Transformers. Like many of you, I consider the franchise a bastardization of our beloved robots in disguise. The Bayformers series has offered nothing but an unnecessary amount violence, racism and sex. I do not care for any more films. But… they’re happening anyway. Transformers 4 is rolling out…

As I said, I did not care for the first three Transformers movies. However, I do like Kelsey Grammer, so I’m torn. Oh, wait. Sorry, I forgot to mention… Sideshow Bob has just been cast as the lead (human) villain. According to Deadline, Grammer will play Harold Attinger, an evil counter intelligence agent. He’ll join fellow cast members Mark Wahlberg and Stanley Tucci as well as a few unknowns.

Honestly, who doesn’t like Kelsey Grammer? This is Frasier we’re talking about! And, he was the best part of all of X3, but that’s not saying much.

Even with the awesomeness of this casting followed by the surprise of Pain and Gain (Bay finally did something right!) I cannot get excited for another Transformers movie. I just can’t.

The film is schedueld for release June 27, 2014 [Deadline]

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Much to the chagrin of fan-boys everywhere, Michael Bay‘s Transformers franchise is continuing, with T4 currently in development. Now, before you enraged bastards evoke a satanic ritual to curse the production, a plot detail has been revealed which may turn heads… in a good way.

The Michigan Film Office announced today that Michael Bay‘s Transformers 4 has been approved for a film incentive from the state.  The film, expected to film this spring in metro Detroit, opens soon after the end of Transformers: Dark of the Moon, where a great battle left a city torn,  but with the world once again saved.

That’s not the eye squinting, beard stroking, worthy news. Details regarding the films big-bad, however, is. Here’s how the Michigan Film Board describes the “plot” (I use the term loosely) for the movie:

As humanity picks up the pieces, following the conclusion of Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Autobots and Decepticons have all but vanished from the face of the planet. However, a group of powerful, ingenious businessman and scientists attempt to learn from past Transformer incursions and push the boundaries of technology beyond what they can control – all while an ancient, powerful Transformer menace sets Earth in his crosshairs. The epic adventure and battle between good and evil, freedom and enslavement ensues.

“an ancient, powerful Transformer menace”? My inner Autobot immediately assumes that means… UNICRON, the planet-eater! Man, if Bay did anything like the 1986 Transformers animated movie – which Unicron is famous for – the haters might finally stop hatin’. This is what we want, what we’ve been waiting for! Of course, after seeing what they did to Devastator in the 2nd Transformers movie, I have no hope that it would be done right.

Unicron, or no Unicron: T4 is bound to continue the racism, objectification of women, and gratuitous bodily excrement jokes synonymous with the franchise. I can’t let my inner child continue to hope that Bay might eventually give me the Transformers I long for.