the french

What Is “The Metal Hurlant Chronicles”?

You know, I really have to stop getting excited about things that will probably turn out to suck.

History time kids! -No wait, come back, it will be quick- Back in the mid 70’s a comic magazine by the name of Métal Hurlant (Howling Metal) began being published by the French. -No wait, come back, this is something cool they created. Like kissing and fries.- It was ground breaking, moral shaking and, just simply really cool for the time. Eventually it was adapted into an American version called Heavy Metal, that was much the same and great throughout the 80’s. Heavy Metal was adapted by Canadians into an animated movie by the same name in 1981 (which was awesome) and then in 2000 (Heavy Metal 2000 aka Heavy Metal: F.A.K.K.²) by 50% of the TMNT creative time (and current owner, editor and publisher of the magazine) Kevin Eastman. The second Heavy Metal movie was not awesome.

Now? Word has it that that a live-action TV series based on Métal Hurlant went into production in France. A French-United Kingdom co-production. 24 half hour episodes to be broken up over two seasons, scheduled for European delivery in April 2012 and November 2012 respectively. Featured actors include Rutger Hauer, Scott Adkins, Michael Jai White, Joe Flanigan and James Marsters.

You may have lost me at ‘France’ but you had me at Rutger Hauer and Michael Jai White.

Let’s what the trailer! It’s after the jump.



But Luke, “The French are frog leg eatin’, hairy arm-pitted, rude, anti-Americans. What’s the deal?”. OK, while it’s true that America and France like to piss on each other (not in any kind of fetish way. that shit’s nasty) the stream of strife can be lifted in the observance of awesome-ness. Say what you will about the French, but when they play in the sandbox of Superheroes and Zombies, and do it well, us Americans must give them a tip of the hat and break some cheese and wine.

The French can do ‘film’, that’s a give in, but superheroes? Lets observe ‘Prodigies’ from Antoine Charreyron shall we. Which, oddly is not  super hero film at all. It centers around a group of gifted teenagers whose past traumas cause them to wreak havoc against the world — and the one person capable of putting a stop to their revenge. So actually it’s a super villain film. How nice!

I’ll let the 60 second teaser trailer speak for itself (below)

Angry teenagers. City-wide destruction. Swirling cameras- all hypnotically set to “Exogenesis Symphony Pt 1: Overture” by Muse- certainly gives me a nerd chub. I flip my pinky in the air with approval.

In short, ‘Prodigies’ (French title: La nuit des enfants rois)  a very good French CGI movie.

Warner Bros. is releasing the film in France on March 9th, 2011. A U.S. release isn’t too far off.

NOW, moving on to Zombies.


Da F*ck? Tetris: le film


We here at Nerd Bastards like to occasionally inform our readers about pressing issues as kind of a public service. The following video is part of that public service.

Everyone’s favorite block-stacking puzzler makes its big-screen debut in Tetris : le Film.

In proving that the French are just as wacky as Asians Tetris: le film is kinda like the movie Run Lola Run except better. Any film that has blocks that fall from the sky aiming to kill a seemingly innocent white girl is nothing but pure win!

The french speak in this video is very (very) annoying, so beware! Unless, of course you like hearing what sounds like hardcore, blow-job, torture pr0n, then I guess this is for you. For the rest of you, turn the volume down and just watch what is otherwise a fantastic, high-quality, well produced fan film.