The Game of Thrones

Mother’s day is fast approaching . . . it’s this Sunday dude . . . that’s tomorrow. If you haven’t planned and taken care of your Mother’s Day Duties: cards, flowers, candies, breakfast in bed, dinner out, then you had better get on the ball and get it done.

So let’s take a look at some of Nerdom’s moms that you wouldn’t want to mess with for one reason or another.

Mama Fratelli – The Goonies

The best way to sum up this NerdBastards feelings towards Mama Fratelli is to say that she be happy to drive you around house to house to trick or treat on Halloween, then take your bag of candy when you got home. Favorite Mama Fratelli quote:

Mouth: Is this supposed to be water?
Mama Fratelli: It’s wet, ain’t it? Drink it!

 

Flemeth – Dragon Age

Voiced by: Kate Mulgrew

Flemeth is the legendary “Witch of the Wilds.” Why is she on the list? Well, how about conceiving and raising her daughter only so Flemeth could invade and take over her daughter’s body, destroying Morrigan’s soul and living forever or at least until she needed another replacement body. That’s some hardcore motherly love.

 

Mom – Futurama

Mom owns and manages 99.7% of MomCorp, a large, multi-billion dollar industrial complex with numerous subsidiaries and a monopoly on robot production. Publicly, she retains the image of a sweet, bustling old woman who often slips into the stereotype of a hapless grandmother (she wears antiquated clothes that greatly accentuate her bust and general figure, while using rustic metaphors such as “squeaking like an old screen door”). Behind the scenes, however, she is malevolent, foul-mouthed, chain-smoking, cold-hearted, and narcissistic. She routinely abuses her sons and others, verbally and physically, like the minions she sees them to be.

 

Mystique – Marvel Comics X-men

Abandon one child to a band of traveling circus gypsies while raising another foster child to be a super villain destroying your enemies. This chick is mother Teresa material. Sure she can look like anyone at any time . . . except on Mother’s day when she is no where to be found.

 

Alien Queen – Aliens

The mother of all space monster mothers. She is one mother you don’t want mess with or threaten her offspring. She will gut you faster than an Ahi-tuna sushi chef. Ripley said it best:

“You know, Burke, I don’t know which species is worse. You don’t see them fucking each other over for a goddamn percentage.”

 

Shaft – Shaft 

He’s a bad mutha . . .

SHUT YO MOUTH ! ! !

I’m just talkin bout Shaft.

 

Cersi “Lannister” Baratheon – Game of Thrones

If a mother can be judged by the quality of her children then Cersi has a lot of explaining to do. She tells her child that everyone is an enemy and no one can deny him anything. How can she be surprised when that child turns into the most hated character in the whole George R.R. Martin series. The only character in the whole series seen trying to teach Joffery something is his uncle Tyrion, by then it’s way too late.

Tyrion: “You love your children. It’s your one redeeming quality; that and your cheekbones.”

 

Lori Grimes – The Walking Dead

Where’s Carl, Lori?

WHERE THE FRACK IS CARL?!?!?!

I’ll tell ya . . .

HE”S POKING A ZOMBIE WITH A STICK IN THE WOODS BY HIMSELF!!!

If I had a nickel for every time Lori had no idea where her child Carl was I could afford that Riot Shotgun I have my eye on for Zombie protection. Once the zombie apocalypse starts I think that knowing where your children are at all times would pretty much top a Mother’s List of Duties. Wait, she can’t be that bad. When she learned that her husband was not back from town yet she jumped into a car and drove after him (WHERE”S CARL LORI?!?!). Of course she did manage to crash the car when she was the ONLY CAR IN OPERATION ON THE ROADS IN THE STATE OF GEORGIA AT THE TIME. This NerdBastard has taken Lori off the carpool list.

 

Sarah Conner – Terminator Franchise 

When Sarah Conner finds out her child will one day save mankind from the robot apocalypse she doesn’t curl up into a ball and wait for the end. She steps up, buffs up, and arms up. She’s willing to do what ever it takes to keep her son (and Mankind) safe, she is willing to take a bullet, grenade, or sliver metal Terminator finger blade to keep John safe. Get in her way and you will soon realize your mistake.

 

Daenerys Targaryen – Game of Thrones

“I am Daenerys Stormborn and I will take what is mine, with fire and blood.”

She is the mother of dragons. She will eat the bloody hearts of her enemies to protect her children, or at least some bloody horse heart. It’s hard to say much more without throwing spoilers out there so this NerdBastard is gonna just leave it there.

New ‘Game of Thrones’ Season Two Trailer

The second trailer is out for season two of HBO’sGame of Thrones.” There’s not much this NerdBastard can say that will increase your desire to watch this season. The show speaks for itself . . . and it’s fabulous.

The question isn’t why you should watch Game of Thrones, the question has moved on to why aren’t you watching?

WELL . . .

I’m waiting on your answer . . .

Listen, I can wait all night . . .

I’ve got a 2 liter of Mountain Dew and a box of Twinkies . . .

We’re almost there, ten more days until the movie opens nation wide. We’ve seen a lot of short clips, set stills, and trailers for “The Hunger Games“, this time it’s a behind the scenes look at the filming, training, and set work.

This NerdBastard’s only complaint is that when compared to “The Game of Thrones” or “The Hobbit” behind the scenes videos, The Hunger Games comes woefully last in production values. After witnessing the aggressive and successful marketing campaign for “The Hunger Games” one would expect this video to be another cleverly placed peg in that marketing strategy. Instead we get a cobbled together un-narrated video like this. 

This NerdBastard bemoans that the enjoyment discovered in this video was splattered liek roadkill by thoughts of what could have been a marketing master stroke. 

 

The powers that be over at Warming Glow commissioned a look at all the deaths in the first season of HBO’s Game of Thrones set to Guns and Roses “Knockin’ of Heaven’s Door.” 

Every game has it’s winners and it’s losers. So here’s to the losers; those hacked up, slashed open, crushed down, choked out, ripped apart, brutally beheaded, undeaded fools that threw their hat into the ring of thrones, because as is often said by many a player involved in the Game of Thrones, “In the game of Thrones, You win or you die.” This NerdBastard has often thought that, “Horribly” should be added to that phrase.

Which death did you like best? Which sword stroke made you cringe? Whose head rolling made you tear up? 

Game of Thrones Death Montage from Doctor Roboto on Vimeo.

 

 

THE ACADEMY LISTENED!

Peter Dinklage wins the 2011 Emmy for Best Supporting Actor! Well deserved is all this NerdBastard can say. Peter rules the screen with his every appearance on The Game of Thrones. Peter thanked his beautiful wife Erica Schmidt, his dog walker Kitty, and everyone involved in the production of The Game of Thrones. This is a big year for Peter with the Emmy and his earlier announcement in June of the couples expected first child. 

The 42-year-old actor beat Walton Goggins of “Justified,” Andre Braugher of “Men Of A Certain Age,” John Slattery of “Mad Men” and Alan Cummings and Josh Charles of “The Good Wife.”

Peter walked up to the mic and began his acceptance speech with, “Wow, I followed Martin Scorcese, (Looking at Acorcese in audiance) your a legend, my heart is pounding.”

Congratulations Peter, Well done!