Twlight

 

In a lot of our favorite books, TV shows, movies and other forms of nerdy entertainment there are characters that seem to push all the wrong buttons. They push those buttons that drive us all right up to the edge of violence, also known as “The Bitch Slap Zone.”

Take a look at the list below and let this NerdBastard know what you think about the choices. You’ve probably got a couple fictional characters that aren’t on the list that you feel deserve some slapping. Put those in the comments section below.

 

Anakin Skywalker –  Episode II Attack of the Clones

I know a lot of people are gonna say that Episode-one-child-Anakin should be on the list, but this NerdBastard can’t help but put the Episode-two-whiney-self important-smug-little-shit up for a resounding series of Bitch slaps. Did anyone like this character besides Padme?  

 

Doctor Zeus – Planet of the Apes 

That damn dirty ape deserves a gorilla style bitch slap. The refusal to consider evidence that goes contrary to your beliefs just sticks in this human’s craw. That great scene where the ministers do the see, hear, and speak no evil is fantastic. The fact that Zeus already knew all about the findings of Cornelius makes him all the more deserving of some repeated slaps.

 

Dawn Summers – Buffy the Vampire Slayer 

Her very existence altered the fifteen years of characters’ memories. She never developed a character, had absolutely nothing (positive) to add to the show and was a total waste of time. She shouldn’t have kept existing after season 5. She. Is. Not. Real! Do you hear me, Joss? NOT. FUCKING. REAL!!! *stumbles away weeping*

 

Bella Swan – All the Twilight Movies 

I kinda feel bad about putting this one on the list, she takes so much shit from everyone, then I remember the six months of lying around pining about Edward and the palm of my hand begins to itch. 

 

 

Dolores Umbridge – Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 

Dolores proceeds to totally trash and turn upside down Hogwarts and no one does a damn thing about it! I wanted anyone to just step up and take a shot at her. Somebody, anybody, just bitch slap her and tell her to . . . SIT . . . HER . . . ASS . . . DOWN.

 

 

Jar-Jar Binks – Star Wars: Episode One: The Phantom Menace 

Even my 8 year old nephew looked at me one day while watching Episode one and said, “He’s pretty annoying isn’t he?” I’m not gonna deny it, I teared up a little. 

 

 

Lori & Carl Grimes – The Walking Dead

Don’t get me wrong here, both are great characters that this NerdBastard loves to see on the screen, but there are times that each of them makes me want to really reach down deep for that neck snapping, body spinning Bitch Slap that they both deserve. Lori for not making up her damn mind. If you’re gonna tell Rick to do something, don’t get mad when he does it. Carl . . . GET BACK IN THE DAMN HOUSE BEFORE I SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF YOU ! ! !

 

Pete Campbell – Madmen 

Pete Campbell is another one of those characters that one can’t decide to kiss or kill and he is the only non-nerdom character on the list. He’s kind of an underdog at times and then he does something really douchie that makes you want to smack the crap out of him. When Lane Price (The Brittish Office Manager) goes at Pete  in the conference room, who didn’t smirk a little at Pete getting his ass handed to him by the stuffy Brit?

 

Joffery Baratheon – Game of Thrones

Is there anyone out there that doesn’t want to slap the shit out of this royal little shit? Jack Gleeson has done such a brilliant job bringing this little shit to life on the screen that this NerdBastard is afraid that Gleeson might have to worry about character bleed. Where one can’t help but see the actor in any other role as that one character. Not exactly type casting, but where one character seems to bleed over all the other characters an actor portrays.

Here’s a remixed video from Game of Thrones, the maker have captured the essence of what everyone wants to do to Joffery. (Notice how Joffery says, “Mother” at each slap, delicious.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This November, twihards around the world will be breaking out glitter and getting all broody as The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn part 1 hits theaters. Oi! We only have one more of these to endure people, we can over come!

Sadly, my word means shit to a theater full of pretweens interested in watching Bella and Edward knock nasty with each other. That’s right… vampire sex, fun for the whole family.

Twilight has become one of those franchises that while a lot of people despise it, even more people flat out LOVE it with a searing passion that burns away any doubt they have.

So, I will not say anything more about it. Instead, just watch the newest trailer for the movie embedded below, and prepare for the release of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part One.

Here’s the synopsis:

In the highly anticipated next chapter of the blockbuster The Twilight Saga, the new found married bliss of Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) and vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) is cut short when a series of betrayals and misfortunes threatens to destroy their world.

After their wedding, Bella and Edward travel to Rio de Janeiro for their honeymoon, where they finally give in to their passions. Bella soon discovers she is pregnant, and during a nearly fatal childbirth, Edward finally fulfills her wish to become immortal.

But the arrival of their remarkable daughter, Renesmee, sets in motion a perilous chain of events that pits the Cullens and their allies against the Volturi, the fearsome council of vampire leaders, setting the stage for an all-out battle.

The suspenseful and deeply romantic Breaking Dawn continues the epic tale of supernatural fantasy and passionate love that has made The Twilight Saga a worldwide phenomenon.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part One will be released to theaters November 18th, 2011.

Via: Geek Tyrant

christopher-lambert-kilt-sword

The 1986 cult-film classic Highlander spawned television spin-offs, sequels, video-games, an animated feature and made star Christopher Lambert a cult hero. After finally putting away the sword and giving up hope on a reboot it looks like it’s time to throw on some Queen and get ready for a new gathering. A head decapitating reboot is on it’s way. Settle your excitement. While a new and fresh take on the adventures of Connor Macleod would be awesome, it looks like it might be ‘sparkling’ in the sunlight by the time the script is done.

A sparkling script?

The Hollywood Reporter broke the news that ‘Twilight’ screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg would be joining director Justin Lin, as well as producers Neil Moritz and Peter Davis to rework the script. The script itself is currently being worked on by screenwriters Cormac Wibberley and Marianne Sellek Wibberley in the interim. The deal itself isn’t finalized as of yet but Rosenberg is nearing a deal to become part of the clan very soon. If Melissa does become part of the franchise you might as well cut your own head off ’cause if you’ve even seen one Twilight movie you’ve seen them all.

When Summit first had interest in remaking Highlander they described their take on it as:

Summit’s film will expand on the original HIGHLANDER’s core mythology of immortals battling amongst us, hunting each other through the ages by tapping its newly minted creative team to take its re-imagination to new heights. Plans call for the re-imagination to spur a new franchise for the studio.

Worst case scenario were gonna see the role of Macleod filled by an 18 year old actor that’s been in the gym for six months prior. The swords would be updated to be more transportable and compact but worst of all it could get turned into a teenage girls movie. The original Highlander was an R rated movie for a reason, violence and blood. If Rosenberg gets her sparkly freaking mitts on this man’s man of a movie we might as well start the boycotting of it now.

Do you really wanna see another Twilight? Only with sparkling swords instead of vampires and werewolves.Hell No!

Via: /film